Garcia, Balles, and Trujillo. Irish names.

Those freakin' irish immigrants!

Hey!  My kids are descended from Undocumented Irish Immigrants!  How do you think we got our citizenship?  As a matter of fact, two of them are in Ireland with their father as we speak. 

One of my Irish ancestors was a horse thief. One was hanged in Wales in 1826. We think it might have been the same guy.

Be proud of your Irish heritage!  I, myself, am descended from monkeys, according to my mom.  At least I think that's what she means when she calls my Dad's relatives "Those damn dirty apes!"

We're all descended from a common primate ancestor, and I'd rather have apes working for me than some of the stiffs I work with. When's the last time an ape missed work because of a "family emergency" or because they "couldn't get a baby sitter"?

Speaking of ancestors, my mom's family struggled during the depression in the Ozarks. Dad told me that his family "got by all right." When I told mom that, she said, "Well, I guess so, with those stills all over the place!"

Johnburns. My dear ol daddy also sold moonshine in Oklahoma.  Incidentally, you may be decended from a tree swinging primate but I'm not. Although, I must agree with you about today's workers.

We are all decendants of primates, Roy, and we all are primates, whether you accept it or not.

as the saying goes, if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

We didn't evolve from apes. No one has ever said that we did. Apes, monkeys and man are all primates - non-human primates and human primates - and evolved from a common ancestor millions of years ago.

Is this the best you people can do? This is like taking candy from a baby. 

It's called anthropology.

damn those DRUNK irish immigrants

 they were robbing the cash n go places so they can pay for the citizenship... geez guys.