So, as i've gotten older i've kind of veered away from hitting the bars downtown. So much drama, so many younger crowds, so many cops and the bars down there have just changed drastically in the past 6 years. I remember when i first turned 21 and I was soooooooo excited to finally go downtown to hang out at bars, not at jerry's or the gate or the stupid bus terminal lol. It was so much fun, going out everynight, no worries, just patron and budweiser. Going to work with a hangover? Nothin a lil coffee and a breakfast burger from carls jr. couldn't fix....

Oh how times have changed..... Friends have grown apart, moved away, some have even died.... Kids, families, marriage, hardships, unemployment, addiction and just life in general have come between us and the good ol' days.  Don't get me wrong, my group and I sitll enjoy a night out together about once every one or two weeks.  I, personally, get to head out to karaoke twice a week if I so choose....  And choose I did about a week ago.  My best friend (since i was 4) called me up and invited me to karaoke at rileys with her and some co workers.  At first i was hesitant because rileys is the worst bar down there.  On the weekends they started charging 5 bucks at the door (and let me say, when i lived in vegas i NEVER paid to get into a nightclub on the STRIP), the clientele totally changed there, it was waaaaaaaaaaaaay to crowded, overpriced drinks, it always smells like pee and sweat (i know, gross, right?) and the bathrooms are pretty much always disgusting..... Buuuuuuuuuuuut it was a monday, so i obliged her and met her down there.

Now, everytime i go downtown i try to remember the good times her and i had down there sooooooooooo many times.   It never ends up that way these days.  A few months back we were in there and we were buzzed and dancing and she set her purse down on the floor between us and next thing we know we are watching some broad walk out of the back door with it.....  Needless to say we confronted her and got her purse back, we headed to the bar and ordered another beer a piece and as we stood there enjoying our cold one, i see jessica's face come flying towards mine only to look behind her to see the chick who tried to jack her purse, running towards the back door. THAT GIRL OPEN HAND SLAPPED MY FRIEND IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD BECAUSE SHE GOT CAUGHT TRYING TO STEAL!!!! I vowed never to go back to riley's after that and i didn't.  until that monday a week or so ago....  And what a sad monday it was....

The bar is bare. There are hardly any bottles of liquor, they were out of a few types of beers they generally carry, so we had to know WTF?  So we Inquired with the bartender and we were sadly informed that riley's was being sold off and shut down!!!! Instantly, my rileys life flashed before my eyes....  I started remembering all the stupid dances we'd done on the dance floor, many nights of karaoke, getting roofied by the 3 mikes from santa cruz (crappy memory, but still, a memory), jess splitting her pants numerous times from droppin it TOO hot (lol), all the friends we made, after parties with people we'd met at rileys that turned into some of the funnest nights ever, tons and tons of beers, patron shots and jager bombs, and mine and jess' favorite picture together was taken there....  i spent my 21st birthday there. So as much as i grew to despise going down there, i was very disheartened when i was given this information....

So, i raise my glass and make a toast to rileys tavern:

Thanks for the great times, pictures that will last a lifetime, memories that will last an eternity and the opportunity to have spent a lot of time and money in your establishment.  This surely, is the end of an era.

 

 

 

 

Walking aimlessly through this life

Filled with so much heartache, so much strife

Im so lost within myself now

Theres no other way but down

Already been to my highest point

I guess now it's all low

So many tears stream down my face

You really put me in my place

Took me to my highest peak

Now i just can't seem to get back on my feet

I miss you so much its tearing my soul

My heart is so completely broke

Never thought you would leave

Makes me sick, your promises i believed

Now i sit here and wonder why

Your goodbye was so dry

I had no idea you could be so cold

The past few years have caused me to fold

Yet all of my dreams are still of you

And still when i look to the future you're there too..........

(this poem is a few months old, just thought i'd post)

so as i skipped through my ipod to find some crossfade i started to notice how all my years of loving music has created a vast universe of listening variety.  it literally went from, bob marley to breaking benjamin from jimi hendrix to john legend and so on.  whenever people i don't really know ride in my truck and my speakers go from blaring eek a mouse to tupac to the deftones they usually only know who tupac is and  that is sad to me.  people are so musically prejudice, they only like to listen to what they grew up listening to, i guess i was lucky enough to grow up around pretty musically diverse people.  it cracks me up when people try to base personality on the music someone listens to, they'd be like this broad is a lil of everything, which is exactly right!  i just love music, from everywhere and i don't discriminate.  i never hate on bands or singers even if i think they suck! because no matter what i think, they're doin the damn thang and that's awesome!  there is a type of music for every emotion i;'ve ever felt, a song i can relate something goin on in my life to and that is a hella powerful thing.  for someone you don't even know to write something, verbalize it and be able to make you laugh, cry, or reminisce.  a song that you can hear two lines of and be taken right back to a party you were at in 10th grade. NOTHING on the face of this earth has the power to do that EXCEPT music.  ahhhhhh i just had to say that. i feel better.... you guys should share some of your favorite songs and what they mean to you or how they helped you or a memory they bring back.  good times.

i feel bad this guy is being bombarded by news media, high schoolers he doesn't know and random people just waiting. how embarasing!!!!  he's been through soooooo much, and i don't think it's right people are all up in his business the minute he steps off the plane!  if people did that to  my husband he would freak! soldiers do not become soldiers for glitz and glamour! they don't do the things they do to be recognized! it's their job! ugh i am so frustrated with this. im watching him right now and he looks overhwlemed. i understand people appreciate what our soldiers do, but i am sure his family would like to have him to themselves for a minute.  maybe im just selfish but when my husband came back from walter reed, i didn't want to share him with anyone!!! and when he camehome he didn't want to do interviews and he gets weirded out when people tell him *thank you for what you do for us* it what he enlisted for, there is no need for thanks. i know this is going to piss people off, but unless you have been in this situation you have no idea how weird it feels.  im just venting.

so spring is approaching, the weather is absolutely BEAUTIFUL and there is NOTHING going on outdoors!  when do the outdoor concerts start?! sunshine, cool breezes, good food and some good bands.... anyone have info?

so i was just sitting here typing an e mail to a friend of mine i met in las vegas, and when i lived there, we used to hang out often, i assumed i knew him fairly well. then he revealed some stuff to me and i was like, how do you really ever know that you really know someone? then i sit here and think about all my friends i have known and hung around with for at least 12 years, we still all hang out, and i am like, do i really know them?  what secrets do they have? is there something everyone holds for themselves, something they never, ever tell anyone else?  i even find myself wondering how well i really know the people closest to me, my husband, people in my family.  it's like when someone does something you never suspected them to be capeable of and you're like WTF, i so thought i knew them better then that.....  or is it just that people are in a constant state of change, or maybe they don't consider the things they never share with anyone  to be that big of a deal.....  i mean you see these shows, like montel and such, they have these women who were married to serial killers and they had no idea.  those women thought they really knew that man they married and slept in the same bed with everynight, only to find out years later they were terrible maniacs.  i don't know, i just struggle with these random thoughts from time to time and must post.  my mind is crazy.  i had to share this thought.  get yer wheels turning.

Caine Morgan 1980-2007.  you will be missed man.  you were one of the nicest people i have ever met in my life.  like they say, only the good die young,  i wish i could've said goodbye.

Fatal crash closes Stockdale Highway Friday afternoon

 

The Bakersfield Californian | Friday, May 11 2007 4:07 PM

Last Updated: Friday, May 11 2007 9:35 PM

A 26-year-old man was thrown from a motorcycle and killed after hitting a curb on Stockdale Highway this afternoon, according to police. The road was closed in both directions and was expected to reopen around 5 p.m.

The victim was driving a red Honda motorcycle west on Stockdale Highway when he hit a curb just west of Buena Vista Road shortly after 2 p.m., said Sgt. Wally Whitaker with the Bakersfield Police Department.

The motorcyclist went onto the median, struck a tree and was thrown off the bike, Whitaker said.

He did not know how far the victim flew. The victim’s white tennis shoes were lying several yards apart in the eastbound lanes. Investigators do not believe alcohol played a factor in the accident.

“Sometimes if you’re unfamiliar with the equipment, you may not look down and know what you’re doing,” Whitaker said.

The victim was taken to Kern Medical Center. He has died, according to police spokesman Det. Greg Terry.

Both directions of Stockdale Highway from Buena Vista Road to Jewetta Avenue were closed and are expected to reopen at about 5 p.m., Whitaker said.

 

 

So i was watching Glenn Beck with my dad yesterday and he started talking about a new drug that has been developed and tested that allegedly kills cancer, but not healthy cells...  but we can't have it, because it will not turn a profit in the time slot given before the patent runs out.  apparently drug companies only have a certain amount of time to make a profit on a new drug before other companies can use it...  and if they don't think they will make one they won't produce it and put it in the market....  so i kept watching and he interviewed Evangelos Michelakis from the University of Alberta in Canada, where the drug is being tested.  It is found that it killed breast, lung and brain cancers...  apparently along with other forms that were not mentioned specifically.  The man interviewed stated that the drug was not being released because it needed more tests because they feared what could happen if the drug was taken along with other drugs given to people fighting cancer...  so tell me, if you were going to die anyways, from cancer, woudln't you at least want the chance to try the drug to see if it would work?  i mean honestly, what have you got to lose?  besides the cancer....  and glenn beck brought up a valid point when he asked why insurance companies weren't contributing to turn a profit since it would save them millions and possibly billions of dollars a year?  just curious what everyone's opinion.... if you'd like to read more here are some links.  Tiny molecule may become big player in cancer fight: study - Yahoo! News     Buzz for a Potential New Cancer Drug - To Your Health - MSNBC.com  but of course none of these articles say anything about it having to do with not making a profit, but if the drug is inexpensive, which it does state in the yahoo article, it is obvious there won't be much profit to be made....  there isn't too much coverage on this topic yet, but if you guys find any other links, please send them to me.  i am eager to learn all the facts.

i have only been back in bakersfield for a little over and month and when i lived in las vegas almost every bar i went to had karaoke at least 1-2 times a week.  I love karaoke, i love being on stage, i love singing and i am good at it.  But i find myself in a predicament here as i have only found about 4 places that have karaoke and 3 of them are places i don't care to go....  The silver fox downtown is a cool spot but they only host it on fridays...  so i am just curious if there are any other karaokers out there on the blog spot and where they go when they need a good lung excersizing. i guess i could go through the phonebook and call every bar here in town but that would take forever....  so where are the good spots?  how often do they host it?  do they also have dancing? live bands?  cheap drinks?  what's up with the night life here?  i don't get out much these days because i have a 2 month old but when i do get to go out, i would like to enjoy a cheap pitcher of beer, in a cool atmosphere, with karaoke....  i just <3 my karaoke....  my release....  my time to shine! lol. 

there is a song, sung by a chick named Faith Evans, and i don't know if it's a remake or anything, but it says: I never knew there was a love like this before, never had someone to show me your love...  and i was told that it was written for her child(ren) and i guess i always thought it was kind of corny until i had my son, Aidan Riley Clay McGowan on 12-13-06....  he was a stubborn little thing, so he was brought into this world via c section.  but he came out screaming, healthy and absolutely beautiful....  i was instantly head over heels in love with him before i even saw him....  all the nurses and my doc were going on and on about how perfect he was and i was overwhelmed with anxiety while i waited for him to be brought over to me so i could see what i had created.  he was breathtaking, i only got to see him for a split second, long enough to plant my first kiss right on his perfect little face.  as i lay in recovery, dying of thirst all i could think about was holding him and giving him kisses all over his tiny head.  it's weird, they say that sometimes it takes days, weeks and even months for mommies to fall in love with their children, it was instantaneous for me.  I never thought i could be a good mom. i never wanted kids, ever. and now he's here and i couldn't imagine my life without him, he is almost 2 months now and he's so gorgeous and hella smart!  and i am just so lucky to have had the most beautiful, healthy, awesome baby ever!  and i just had to share my joy and love with everyone else.  i hope for those of you who plan on having children in the future or who are expecting mommies, you fall in love with your child as fast as i did mine. and just know, there is NOTHING better then your child's eyes lighting up when they look at you, and their first true smile, and laugh, hell even the first time they pee on you....  it's a wonderful adventure, and a whole new life....  and i am so glad to have changed my mind about children.  life without my son would really suck.