Hey Tara, I have a question for you. Why is everyone so rude to the non-custodial parents (which are usually the Father)?? I don't get it? I'm a non-custodial Father myself. My child is almost 10 years old and up until about a year ago, I payed child support to his Mother "outside" of the courts. His Mom kept moving him around and since we had no legal custody agreement, I had no say in where she moved our child. I finally looked in to how the court system might be able to help me out in this matter. I ended up filing for joint custody and won! Along with filing for joint custody, I also filed a child support judgement against myself, so it would be monitored by the state.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm a pretty good guy. I love my child and I NEVER missed a child support payment. In fact, from the time I filed the support judgement (against myself) it took about 3 1/2 months for the order to go thru. In the mean time I continued to make payment directly to his Mom. I get my paperwork and it shows that I'm in arrears 3 months!! The profession I'm in requires that I have my Notary and when it expired recently I had to renew it. Well, I found out that if the state shows you are in arrears for child support, they won't give you your notary commission until it's paid current. I've been down to the child support office several times to try and get this matter resolved, since I'm not actually behind on my payments. Every time I've been in that office, I've been treated like some dead-beat who is just complaining about having to pay! Why I'm I being treated so badly when I'm the one who wants to make it right?? It's not fair! I've done nothing wrong yet I get treated with such disrespect. I think the child support department and advocates like yourself should not group ALL non-custodial parents together and treat everyone on a case to case basis. I agree that the kids come first and they should be given what they are due. But try and remember that not all of us are "bad guys".

I would never lump all Dads together just because of what a few guys are allowed to get away with.

I think that the Department of Child Support services is awful to moms and dads. The good guys get squeezed and treated unfairly because they are trying to do the right thing. The true dead beats that jump jobs or work under the table get away with murder b/c its too much energy and man power to chase those guys down. They actually try to close those cases. The better their collection rates are, the more they get in Federal dollars. Changing from County DA run collection to State run collection was supposed to be a miraculous transformation but from what I have seen they are just as incompetant and awful as they always were.

I totally agree with you about being treated badly at the DCSS office. I promise you they talk to Moms bad too. They sneer at you as if you were a drug addled welfare case. When I first opened my case in 1998 my support amount was $870. They never sent me checks for the correct amount. Then after a couple of months I agreed to lower support to $501. They still didn't send me the right amount. They send random check amounts. I would call, get the run around. I asked to speak to supervisor and they would just flat out refuse to let me speak to a supervisor. They won't even give you their last names. From Sept 1998 to Jan 1999 they owed me $900. Mind you this was 9 years ago and that was 2 months rent for me. I finally called the office of Ken Peterson, who was on the Board of Supervisors. His office staff were awesome. Within a week I had a check for $900.

My friend is having a problem with DCSS right now. They say that she received an overpayment of child support. They collect the support and they issue the checks. So how did that happen? They have held her entire child support check 2 months in a row now. $1540. She has asked how the overpayment happened and wanted to see proof. Nothing. She calls. They say they are going to fix it but nothing gets done. Mind you they are not going to return the money to Dad. They are just going to hold it. 

I know a dad that had his drivers license suspended because he switched jobs and they did not put the garnishment thru in time. He told them about the new job ahead of time and it was their error but they still suspended his license. It took dozens of calls to straighten the matter out.

DCSS is terrible but until people start speaking out nothing is going to change.

Hello Tara,

First I wanted to let you know that your petition is noble and just to a certain extent. I do feel that it is one sided or even biased. It is always the father of a child who is a non-custodial parent. In many cases it is the mother, but we do not label a mother who fails to pay her child support a "dead beat mom" now do we. In many cases the father may provide the best living solution for the child, however society along with the courts still sides with the mother.

I am a "non-custodial" father of two wonderful sons. I have arrears only, only because while serving in the military my ex-wife moved my two sons away from the state in which I was stationed. For two years I did not know the where abouts of my sons, yet after 18 months of searching and $3,000.00 in attorney fees trying to find her and my sons I was hit with court paperwork by KCDCSS stating that I was in arrears and my wages would be attached. At that time I contacted KCDCSS, one to see what I needed to do to have the support modified (I was hit for $1,200 +), and two, to find out were my sons where living. I was told told a KCDCSS representative (who was a female) who stated that "it is not my right to see my children or know where they reside, but it is my responsibility to pay for them." I was then told that I would have to come to Kern County to have the order modified. At this time I lived in Virginia, so coming to California was very difficult. The KCDCSS representative also stated that they are not permitted to give out information, yet since then, KCDCSS has given out dates, times, and other information of calls and issues made by me to KCDCSS to my ex-wife.

I have since moved back to Bakersfield and fought tooth and nail for what little rights the courts give fathers. I have a great relationship with my sons, pay my support on time...even when I have changed a job, and try to pay more towards my arrears. My support obligation was raised when my ex-wife re-married and again when she gave birth to another child. I now pay $905 per month, plus $145 in arrears. I might add that $200 of my obligation is for child care in which my children have never attended. This is because the attorney for KCDCSS excepted fake receipts, written by my ex-wives friend claiming that she provides child care.

Now I believe that there is a significant amount of "non-custodial" parents who fail to pay there support for many reasons. Some may be because they are truly a "dead beat." However, I believe that in most cases a non-custodial parent struggles with paying there support obligations due to the high rate, not being allowed to see their children, the custodial parent alienation of the non-custodial parent. You also stated that "our children are owed" so much in back child support. My question is, how can KCDCSS provide evidence that child support is used for the children. Example: My ex-wife refuses to purchase clothes, school supplies, hygiene supplies, shoes, athletic supplies, and birthday gifts for my children. Further more, she refuses to vaccinate the children and take them to the dentist or doctor. All these issues fall upon my shoulder, yet I pay child support and supply all the items my children need away from my home while my ex-wife dresses nicely, goes out constantly, and drives a very nice car. May I point out that her husband is also unemployed.

Like you, I feel that there should be some sort of reform in regards to child support. However, it must be non-biased and must be able to provide evidence to the "payer" where the funds are going. Why couldn't a non-custodial parent pay the custodial parents rent directly or have the funds placed on a debit card which can be used at grocery stores only or clothings stores, this then could be tracked by the non-custodial father allowing them to view were the funds have been spent.

Oh and one last thing....my younger brother is the custodial parent of my niece. In his case the mother has re-married and will only work part time. Why? Because even though my brother is the custodial parent, he still pays $125 per month for child support. They have a 80/20 time share. How ironic is that! Also, during my last custody battle, I was denied more time with my children by the so-called "court appointed child counsel" because more time for me, meant less child support for her.

Reform yes, but not because of "dead beat dads" but because times have changed and the money is not being used for the children, fathers are not being aloud to see their children or are having to jump through fire to do so, and because mothers have been playing the "poor me" role for to long and now they are just taking advantage of the system and its faults.

 

 

Hi Tara,

My name is Megan and I am kind of having a reverse problem and not sure if you have any ideas on how to help. I will tell you my story My brother has been paying child support like he was supposed to since he was court ordered. The mother of his children and my brother are still married but have lived separately for about 4 years. When he was court ordered to pay child support it included an amount to help her pay for daycare. His wife took the children out of daycare and told him to not send in his full amount because she wasn't sending him (yes his mistake for not taking her back to court and just believing her it was okay). My brother is diabetic and had a reaction at work and wrecked one of the trucks. They decided to fire him because of that and he could not find a decent paying job after that. My brother went back to court to have his child support adjusted and they told him that he had the potential to make as much as he was before so he had to continue paying that amount. My brother started dating a girl and when the mother of his children found out she took him back to court again and told them that he had not paid the full amount of child support that he was supposed to pay (which she had said was okay because she was not sending the kids to daycare anymore) At this point it had been two years since he had not paid that full amount at 400 a month plus an amount he could not afford to pay because he wasn't make the income that he was before. When they got to court he owed her 20000 in back pay. He couldn't even pay for a lawyer so he went in there on his own. Mind you they gave him a month to come up with it and they went back to court and he did not have it and then another month and he still didn't have it. They finally sent him to jail for 6 months where he worked during the day, everyday, 7 days a week, and she received all of it. Every time my brother files taxes she automatically receives all of it. All the while this is going on they are still married and she is living with her boyfriend which was court ordered that if they caught her doing that they would put her in jail. He of course does not want to say anything because then both of his kids’ parents will be in jail. Finally he got out of jail and she receives 60% of his income and it still does not cover the amount he should pay each month. After being out of jail he was finally relieved to hear that he has a court day. He gets to court and all they do is say that this was a court date to set a court date six months from now to actually discuss his child support. My brother received a paycheck this week for 78 dollars. He lives 900 miles from us, so living with us is not an option. There are several weeks that my parents and I sent Wal-Mart gift cards to him so he can eat for the week and his father pays his rent. I just want to know what can we do to help him. If he has been making this amount for years and getting further behind why wouldn't they issue him a child support credit for overpaying each week like they issue back pay for not paying? I know that there is a lot more to this story that I am probably leaving out but I am trying to give you the gist of it. I am his little sister and I am a single parent and can’t afford much. I receive child support but I could never do this to my son’s father. I don’t want anyone to think that I am siding with him because he is my brother because I am on the receiving end of child support as well. I know how important it is and he is willing to pay, but where is the justice in what they are doing to him? Anyone can email me at renee112099@aol.com

 He lives in Manassas Virginia

 I'm in a similar boat as you Tara. My case is currently being transferred to San Bernardina County, because I live here now. I was skeptical at first because of all the crap I have taken from Kern County, but much to my surprise, Sana Bernardina County DCSS was just given praise from the state for making a huge turnaround in their services. Cases were flat out being ignored. I had the chance to speak with a rep from SB County DCSS and things are so different here. I told them about him owing me a years worth of support and he will have to pay his current monthly owed ($600) plus make a payment toward the arrears. They do monthly sweeps of banks accounts at all banks (it helps if you know where the NCP banks) to help collect arrears. I'll truly believe it when I see it because my kids dad quit his job to be a gardener and now doesn't report his actual income, he hid all his assets in his dad's name and lives off his girlfriend. I have setup a myspace account trying to meet up with other parents who this is happening to, not just moms but dads too because dads are getting screwed by dead beat moms too. Feel free to visit my page, http://www.myspace.com/figh... . The old saying is the squeaky wheel gets the grease, well its time we us Custodial Parents band together and start squeaking.

Kristin B

 

 Tara, I totally agree with you. My ex now lives in Kern county and has been skipping from state to state to avoid paying child support.  My original c/s order is from Florida, I now have one from New York, Wyoming and now California. 46 more states and I can wall paper my kitchen with all of the orders. He is now in arrears of 93,000 not including interest. He is good at hiding and also puts all of his money in his new mother in laws name. He currently has a total of 11 children, and just had a new baby. He has grandchildren older than his children. He has been married or lived with someone five time and has children with each of them. My children are the first two and the oldest.

Unfortunately, nothing happens to him, I keep getting told they can't find him as he also uses his dead father's social security number. Funny, I am able to find him. If he owed te IRS money, they would find him. It is a Federal Offense to skip from state to state to avoid C/S, however no one wants to do anything to help.

Let me know if you have any answers.

Jane

 After 7 years of no child support being paid, I have been notified by the Dept. of Child Support that they have initiated a contempt hearing for the father of my children. The notice only addresses 2007 and makes no mention of the time between 2001-2006 or any of 2008.

The notice's cover letter also invites me to attend the hearing, though I am not required to do so. They advise that I should be there in case I have anything to add. At this point, I feel there's nothing to say that the record cannot show.

I feel as if there should be a penalty for those who shield the non-custodial parents from their obligation including people that pay them in cash, pay others to relay it to them, or register vehicles in their own name for the non-custodial parent to drive without a license.

With plenty of sources on which to glean traditional experience, the liklihood of children receiving thier due is very slim. Many kids that were entitled to support grew o adulthood never to receive a dime.

Very sad, indeed.

Here's my story ...

My daughter's father stated 9 years ago that if he couldn't have both of us he didn't want either of us and he would "never work a real job" so he wouldn't have to pay child support.

In the past 9 years he has worked many jobs, and some were very high paying - but they money went to drugs and frivoulous items.  My daughter was awarded a whole $161 a month.  4 years ago he was pulled over and found to be driving with a suspendd license (pulled due to non payment) and arrested because that violated his probation.  I contacted CSS every so often to follow up and see what was being done and when I received a letter that the amount per month was dropped to zero due to his incarceration I called to complain and was told that they run his social regularly and when he was released they would continue collecting (adding to the already way past due account).  Also at the time he had another child, but was living with the mother of that child.  2 years ago the woman he was living with began making small payments to CSS to prevent him from loosing his license again, that was the first my daughter had ever received regular payments (regardless if they were random small checks of $11, $30, and sometimes $70).  Then he had another child with this woman who finally realized she can't change him and left him.

Recently I was summoned to court to modify the order.  I went to CSS to make sure I had filled out the paperwork appropriately and found that when he was put in jail 4 years ago and subsequently served a total of 25 days here and there during the past 4 years his court ordered amount remained at ZERO dollars.  So for serving 25 days total in jail he saved himself from paying $7728 +interest since the CSS will not back date.  At the arbitration the father did not show up (of course) and I told the CSS attorney that I wanted them to do an assumed income order since he is not on disability, is a skilled electrician and construction worker, and had stated he would always work under the table.  He agreed, so it was assumed that my daughters father made at least minimum wage times 40 hours a week.  That would have put the CS order at close to $400 a month - wonderful!

Until the other mother showed up asking for support for the other two children.  In court (they brought us both in at the same time since it was for the same father) when the CSS attorney stated that the amount would be a little higher per child than expected she shouts, "YES!"  Then we were told that my child would receive $160 - her children were awarded $180 and $128.  The $180 going to the now 1 year old, and the $128 going to the 4 year old.   I doubt there will be any payments before my daughter is 18 (in 8 years) but maybe one day he'll have a windfall and the pitiful amount will add up with interest and she'll have a nice sum for college, a home, or whatever.  The other mother is sick, she thinks the money is for herself and would spend it accordingly, hence the "YES!".  She qualifies for AFDC so she will receive the money regardless.

I on the other hand am a hard working single mother who had bought a home for my child and I.  We are struggling to make ends meet and do not qualify for any type of aide since I make over $1500 a month.  We used to be doing okay, until the housing market went to pot and the notary loan signing business I did on the side became few and far between.

Chemical Castration should be legal.  He should not have been allowed to make more children than he could care for.  He should not get off easy by going to jail.  I recently heard that he is living with his parents in MO working for them for just enough to earn cigarette money for the week.  What a loser, to think I was dumb and young and spawned with him.  But I have an angel in my life for it, and I try my damndest to make ends meet and raise her to be a good human being.  She's smart enough to understand - when I came back from the hearing she asked what had been awarded, I told her and she replied, "That's not fair, he shouldn't have had more kids when he won't even take care of me".

Rarr!  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!  :)

WELL I GET ONLY  30.00 DOLLAR  I CAN'T BUY MY 7YEAR OLD  DAUGHTER WITH ONLY $ 30.DOLLAR'S  SOME CLOTH'S  WHAT THE  @@@@   GOING ON WITH CHILD SUPPORT OFFICE  I GOT A CHECK FOR 4CENT'S   BUT HE MISS 4YEAR'S WITH OUT PAYING ANY THING HE TOLD THEM HE DID NOT HAVE A JOB  THATS BULL HE WORK EVERY DAY BUT THEY BELEAVE HIM  my daughter was suppose to get$424.00 a month now i's $234.     when they fill like sending it    that's not fair to the women  who have to take care of the kid why the deadbeat dad pay with the state about not having a job       &nbs p;   i am      mad as hell ) TERRIE P     

I am a child support paying father. I would just like to say first off I am sorry for all you out there who get no help. I think the child support laws are backwards but I do not think they are fair to the non custodial parent trying to do everything they can. I have never missed a payment in eight years of my sons life. I am constantly being put through the ringer though with the State of Ca and I live in FL.

I often feel like a wallet and not a father. the money does not go to my child. Come on it should be a fair amount of money also. I believe the child should be cared for equally. it takes two to make a child why not two to pay for it?

I am ordered to pay child support which I took myself to court thinking I would get rights. My only right is to pay! I do not even have a phone number to contact my son. I am mad with the system it has failed the good non custodial parents forcing us to do without to pay unfair amounts and not caring if we have any say in anything. Something has to be done. Jail and harrassment is not the answer what good does that do. I have learned my lesson maybe we should be more careful who we have children with. Point being there are so legit custodial parents that have a right to be upset but then there are some who just want a paycheck. just like there are some non custodial parents trying to do right and getting run over by the system and taken to the cleaners while the dead beats get away with doing nothing. Fix the system for both!

Can someone give me information that could help me?

I was a single mom for 4yrs.  Child support was granted and he had been paying what ever he could.  Arrears are in play.  But, now...I am told that I make too much money and he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. 

Since I was 16, I have worked and strived hard to achieve more skills, more knowledge and better paying jobs to get where I am today.  I had her when I was 20 and for a brief period of 6 months I only had Medi-cal for her.  I didn't like being on the "system" and ever since that experience, I stayed away from needing AFDC, which I never got, and any other government aid.

I don't feel that because of all my hard work that I should now be penalized for making too much money.  He was at one time able to make $17 an hour and then was fired from his previous employment and stayed on unemployment for a year.  Now that he is only making about $10 an hour with his new employer, Kern County Child Support Agency is telling me now that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore.  His potential was $17, so him taking a $10 job has made it where I don't get child support anymore?  Is that fair?  Should I quit my job because it is only right that the father help support his child just to justify my statement?  Come on. 

Is there anything I can do?  Can I get sole custody of her because of this?

Custody and child support are two different issues.   Either one requires a good lawyer in my opinion.  You don't say if the father is in the picture physically or if he has visitation.  No matter.  Your best bet is to get an atty or contact the DA's office concerning the support.  You'll probably get lots of opinions here but what you need is real legal advice....not blogger advice.

Sorry, but I'm constantly amazed at the people who come to a blog and ask legal questions.  You could put yourself and your child at risk with bad advice.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Let me rephrase.  I know that I would have to get a lawyer to do anything.  I also know that custody and support are two different things and that the Agency can't do anything about custody.   But I was putting myself out there to see if anyone else faced or knew of anyone else facing this delima of custodial parents no longer getting child support.  That's all.  Sorry I wasn't clear.

 

it sucks when parents can't take responsibility for themselves and their kids..

on the flipside though..being a male...some people i know, all males, took it in the shorts when they went to court....wife committed adultery to end the marriage...and the woman gets the kids??  why?  because she proved her great decision making skills?

another one's wife became addicted to meth...smoked their 40k dollars up within 8 months, and SHE gets the kids??

sorry....but women have it waaaaay too easy in court durng divorces...i thought we we supposed to be equal?  well that is one arena we are not

i agree to child support to an extent. i also believe that a child doesnt cost 1000 dollars a month.

I think it is intresting that all these women here blame men for the problem with there children and child support. I would like to point out that it takes two people to make a baby. I think that women should start taking more responsiblity for themselves. If the women can not pay for a child in her life by her self, maybe she should consider using birth control. While I think a child should def. be taken care, I think everyone on here should stop playing the victim and start taking responsiblty for themselves.

Doing monthly sweeps of bank accts does no good when the non custodial parent works under the table, gets pain in cash, and pays their bills with money orders. The parents that go to such extremes, need to have their butts in jail. It seems interesting to me how the non custodial parent literally buys the childs love and attention, yet could give a dang if they eat properly. If the cusdodial parent acted that way the child would be taken away by CPS. My Daughters ex works under the table as a truck driver. As far as I'm concerned if he doesn't  want to  support his child then he should have his money making license revoked. Let him work at McDonalds. If he isn't going to help pay for the baby that he helped create, he shouldn't have the luxury of anything, including seeing his child. It would be very interesting to see how many non custodial parents would start paying if visitation was tied into support. My bet would be quite a few would rather never know their own children, all because of the almighty dollar. Child Support Services need workers in their that actually work. They also need to get a decent attitude. They treat both sides of this issue with extreme disrespect. Why even have  CSS if it is no more than a money pit that employees DEAD BEAT WORKERS?

Who pays 1000/month for a child?

Help me,,,The petition is closed. That is what it says. Can't sign that!

 Who pays 1000/month for a child?

You'd be surprised.  Ever hear of the "two-pony rule"?  Actual court ruling that no child needs more than two ponies.  Note:  Not "more than one."  More than TWO. 

Oddly enough, that was a *LIMIT* on child support that could be awarded.

Wow. Should I get a divorce, I'm getting a vasectomy. I can't afford anymore children.