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Fresno State Game Tonight The public's best option: Less government, more choice part 1- Jacoby The public's best option: Less government, more choice Part 2- Jacoby Computer problems Poetry ~ Share yours Will Rogers wise sayings Examples of the left and it's vitriol. The war on affordable books - Jacoby HERB BENHAM: After we were finished, life raised our children Obama Hits Campaign Trail, Schedules Full Week of Political Stops August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 
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This was sent to me in email this morning so I thought I'd share these truisms with you. Thank you John _________________________________________________ _________________ Some things to ponder
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number. 13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) 18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by ist! lef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
 AS ONE TROUBLING CHAPTER CLOSES, ANOTHER REOPENS By Jeff Jacoby The Wednesday, November 08, 2006 http://www.boston.com/news/... & nbsp; It was on April 6, 1976, at an antibusing rally outside & nbsp; “For too many people around the country,” Mayor Tom Menino lamented a few years ago, “when they think of & nbsp; On Jan. 4, 2007, Americans will see another picture of a black attorney in & nbsp; Race is a poor reason to vote for or against any candidate. But I find it hard to shake the feeling that many & nbsp; Once, Patrick’s color would have been all the reason many voters needed to oppose him. In 2006, it was one more thing a lot of voters liked about his candidacy, because it reflected something likeable about them. That was the real “race issue” in the 2006 campaign. & nbsp; But if Patrick’s election helps put an end to one troubled chapter from the & nbsp; With the Corner Office back in Democratic hands, & nbsp; The last time & nbsp; When Democrats last controlled the Massachusetts House, Senate, and governor’s office, scandals proliferated. Republicans who spoke out against the one-party mismanagement were derided by those in power. On one memorable occasion -- his State of the State Address of 1989 -- Dukakis slammed those who criticized his record and called for reform as “gutless wonders.” & nbsp; One-party rule, & nbsp; Now they are ready to try once. Perhaps that is because so many of them find Patrick so appealing. Perhaps it is because Kerry Healey did such an ineffective job of reminding them what the absence of checks and balances can lead to. Perhaps it is because after four terms of Republican governors, voters are simply tired of the GOP. Probably all three. & nbsp; Patrick ran a campaign largely free of substance and specifics. He wooed voters with inspiration and good feelings. What none of us knows is what he will do with his mandate -- and whether he will learn from Dukakis’s experience. He has one great thing going for him: He is not a product of the state’s political culture. And he has one great strike against him: Power tends to corrupt. & nbsp; “Democracy,” H. L. Mencken wrote, “is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” There doesn’t seem to be much doubt about what (Jeff Jacoby is a columnist for The Boston Globe.) -- ## -- .
I got an email this morning titled "Bring Back Ike." It was addressing the illegal immigration problem back in the 50's and, being the curious person that I am, I went looking for more information. The links are below to just the 3 I looked at. Very interesting (even if not politically correct ) articles.
What do the Dems plan to do about illegal immigration issues? http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/...
I realize the term "wetback" is not politically correct and is derogatory but it's use is part of history and was the name of this operation.
High SchoolBakersfield.com > Today's Paper > Sports > High School 
West rolls to titleRyan Mathews gets a hug and kiss from his grandmother Beverly McGowan after West High won the Southwest Yosemite League title with a 35-14 victory over Centennial. Mathews rushed for 372 yards and three TDs giving him 2,838 yards to break the Kern County season rushing mark. full story Ridgeview runs past Rebels Bulldogs capture first title Note: With attention once again being focused on Senator John Kerry's idea of a "joke," this column -- originally published during the 2004 presidential campaign -- may be of interest. HEARD THE ONE ABOUT KERRY'S SENSE OF HUMOR? Sunday, September 12, 2004
Just for laughs, you want to hear a little joke about shooting the president?
Presidential assassination -- now there's a funny topic. Just ask John Kerry. When the head of the United Mine Workers presented him with a semiautomatic shotgun during a Labor Day campaign stop in West Virginia, Kerry chortled, "I thank you for the gift, but I can't take it to the debate with me." High-larious!
How can you not love a candidate with such a robust sense of humor? The Massachusetts senator brings so much wit to the presidential race. Remember his wisecrack last spring about a bicycle accident that left President Bush with bruises on his face, hands, and knees? Asked Kerry: "Did the training wheels fall off?" And his line in January about the man who is now his running mate? "When I came back from Vietnam in 1969," he said in Iowa, "I don't know if John Edwards was out of diapers then." Oh, that Kerry -- what a stitch!
For some reason people are forever commenting on how dour and stiff Kerry is. But it's a bum rap. As anyone who has followed his career knows, the guy's a regular Jackie Mason.
Take his great quip about Saddam Hussein's military back in 1997, when he was advocating an expansion of the NATO no-fly zone. "The Iraqi army is in such bad shape now," Kerry said, "even the Italians could kick their butts." Everyone split their sides, they were laughing so hard. Well, almost everyone. For some reason the Massachusetts state auditor, Joseph DeNucci, accused Kerry of uttering a "degrading, disgusting" ethnic slur. And a spokesman for the National Italian American Foundation said, "It was a totally inappropriate comment. What could he have been thinking?" Talk about your killjoys. There's just no pleasing some people.
A year earlier, when Kerry was running for re-election, he uncorked a priceless rib-tickler about his opponent, Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld. "This guy," he said on Don Imus's radio show, "takes more vacations than the people on welfare." Is that a hoot? And yet, believe it or not, some people didn't think it was funny. "I'm very insulted, very insulted," one welfare recipient told the Boston Globe. She obviously has no appreciation for sophisticated comedy.
Speaking of sophisticated comedy, have you heard the one about the camel and the ass? This must be Kerry's favorite joke, to judge from the frequency with which he told it during last year's primary campaign. Here it is, taken verbatim from his remarks to the Florida Democratic party convention in December:
"A little more than 5,000 years ago, Moses said, 'Hitch up your camel, lift up your shovel, mount your ass. I will lead you to the promised land.' Five thousand years later, Franklin Roosevelt said, 'Light up a Camel, lay down your shovel, sit on your ass. This is the promised land.' Today, George Bush will outsource your camel, tax your shovel, kick your ass, and tell you there is no promised land."
No doubt there are some grouches who would regard this as excruciatingly unfunny, not to mention an insult to FDR. ("Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass" was not exactly the motto of the Works Progress Administration.) But as any connoisseur of good humor will attest, you can't hear jokes like this even in the best comedy clubs.
Not only is Kerry a very funny fellow, he is a critic of other people's material. He certainly let Bush have it a few months ago for some dubious gags at the Radio and Television Correspondent's Dinner about the lack of chemical and biological weapons in Iraq. As Bush showed photographs of himself looking under furniture and behind the drapes in the Oval Office, he made comments like "Those weapons of mass destruction have to be somewhere" and "Nope, no weapons over there."
Apparently Bush never learned that some topics are not appropriate fodder for jokes, particularly from someone of national political stature. Kerry firmly set him straight.
"That's supposed to be funny?" Kerry asked. "If George Bush thinks his deceptive rationale for going to war is a laughing matter, then he's even more out of touch than we thought. Unfortunately for the President, this is not a joke." Thank Heaven at least one of the candidates for president knows that certain subjects are too grim to make light of.
Anyway, to get back to Kerry's jest about shooting the president: This is not a new theme for him. Back in 1988, during the first Bush administration, he made headlines with a similar knee-slapper about then-Vice President Dan Quayle.
"The Secret Service is under orders," Kerry told a business audience in Lynn, Mass., "that if Bush is shot, to shoot Quayle."
And to think that some people don't find him funny.
(Jeff Jacoby is a columnist for The Boston Globe.)
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