larger view

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5..0 to
Husband 1..0 and noticed a distinct slow
down in overall system performance --
Particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5..0

In addition, Husband 1..0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9..5 and Personal Attention 6..5
and then installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5..0, NBA 3..0,
and Golf Clubs 4..1

Conversation 8..0 no longer runs, and
Housecleaning 2..6 simply crashes the
system.... I've tried running Nagging 5..3
to fix these problems, but to no avail!

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate





Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5..0 is an
Entertainment Package,
While Husband 1..0 is an Operating System

Please enter the command:
'http..I Thought You Loved Me..HTML'
and try to download Tears 6..2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3..0 update

If that application works as designed,
Husband 1..0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewelry 2..0
and Flowers 3..5

But remember, overuse of the above
application can cause Husband 1..0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2..5,
Happy Hour 7..0 or Beer 6..1

Beer 6..1 is a very bad program that will
download the Snoring Loudly Beta

Whatever you do, DO NOT install
Mother-in-law 1..0 (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources)

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5..0 program... These are
unsupported applications and will
crash Husband 1..0

In summary, Husband 1..0 is a great
program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly..
You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory
and performance

We recommend Food 3..0
and Hot Lingerie 7..7

Good Luck,

Tech Support