My dad is 76.  He lives in Texas.  He had  brain stroke that mimics Alzheimers.  Memory loss, he gets lost and can't drive, etc.  Lucky for me, he hasn't gotten mean.  My biggest issue is he's remarried (at age 70) and has NO WILL.  He bought a house with his new wife    If he passes, she'll get the house.  And when she passes after that, her kids will get it.  I have a hard time asking him to get a will and put the house in a trust.  I'm 47, but still his little kid.

See the Alzheimers Foundation. The need to get blood and urine tests now.  See this for some other tips.

Good advice, Woof.  My dad had Alzheimer's.  I think the original tests included drawing hands on a clock to represent a certain time, reciting lists, etc.  The key is to go to the doctor right away while the good patches are still common.  Is your relative in Bakersfield?  If so, I may be able to get you some local contact info for help.

My parents are both in their mid ninties, in good health and still live  in their own home. She 95, he 94. Both have short term memory loss he worse than her.  Both confuse easily. For those of you dealing with one parent this age, I envy you. I try not to interfere as much as possible, but that is getting harder every day. I know that soon I will have to step in and make some hard decisions that are not going to go over well.  The situation is compounded by the fact that they are the two most selfish, self centered, hardheaded people I have ever known. The procedure for declaring a person incompetent is much harder than you would think, and an action that I would be unwilling to take unless 98% sure of success. I tell myself that this can't go on much longer, but it does.

Thanks for all the information! Tom, the answer is yes, she is here in Bakersfield

OK, Bakonative, I sent out an email today and I'll let you know when I hear back.  As I've said before here, one of my favorite people in the world runs a pair of local long term care facilities and she was the one who took care of my dad (and the rest of us) while he was going through that.  I don't envy you the years ahead.  Take care of yourself and I'll get back to you soon.

Bakonative, I thought I'd mentioned this before but I guess I missed it.  I got the reply back.

1.  Find out if he has power of attorney over his mother.  if he does he can make the medical and  financial decisions for her.  If he does not, then they may be a problem when it comes to trying to put her in a facility.    2.  Have his mom see a doctor.  She needs to have a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease or dementia.   3.  Medication.  There are meds out there now that can do wonders for behaviors. Risperdal is the one I recomment the most.  4 out of 5 of my residents are on it.    4.  Placement.  Sounds like she needs to be in some kind of facility.  You can have him call me and I will be more than happy to help him even if he can't place his mom at John's Haven.

Go ahead and shoot me an email through the site if you'd like to chat with this woman.  She's really great and can put you in touch with all the best people in the area.