FSG is a star!

He's now the leading contender for governor in 2010...

I don't know how well the Governor's seat would treat me.

Honestly though, I have considered politics one day. First, I need to polish myself a bit..

Well, Golly!  That big ol meterpopolus of El Lay thinks we're intersting when we live up to ther expektashuns!  Wahooo!

Well done, FSG.  Anyone else notice how many Bakersfield stories are working their way up to a national stage?

it's a sign of the apokalipps.  i'ma fixxin ta runnoft ta trouts now.

Hold on, Frankie!  Let me put on a clean tank top and some flip-flops and I'll come with ya!  I'll buy the first pitcher of Natural Light!

cool, then we should go over by the KFC and chunk rocks at the cars.

When I lived in LA last year and mentioned that my in-laws lived in Bakersfield, people would tell me, "I'm sorry."

Now that I've been here close to a year, I've gotta say, despite the fact that I'm surrounded by ultra-conservatives, I'd much rather be living here than down there. 

Yahoo!  You sure know how to have a good time!  But first I wanna check all the needles on Roberts Lane and see if there's anything left in 'em.  I'm not choosy!

maybe bum some smokes by the liquor store across the street from the airport, walk over to the Skylark...hang around outside.  If you're lucky i might get you to something to eat at the Carousel burger stand.

WE ROCK!

Big Spender!  I'm just a simple country gal, Frankie.  They say it's 'cause my dad, Billy Bob Thingamabob and my mom, Brandine, were first cousins, but that's never been proved 'cause Maury Povich turned us down for his "Who My Baby Daddy?" show.  I just like the simple things in life, like my trailer, my unicorn collection, my black velvet picture of Elvis and my disability check.  Anything more than that is special, like waking up and finding a can of beer ALREADY in your hand.  You can't buy special moments like that.

But I'll go bum smokes with you, Frankie, even though this is starting to sound like a DATE!!!! and I don't think any of the guys I'm sleeping with are gonna like that.  It's worth it for the burger! 

hey now, i never said I was gonna BUY the burger.  people sometimes leave stuff on the trays.  theres nuthin wrong with that food.

You two sure know your way around The Dale. 

What?  Frankie, you know as well as I do that no one in Oildale would leave a burger on their tray!  You talk sweet, but I can see plain as day that you're talking about dumpster divin'.  Well, you can forget it!  I've already been dumpster divin' all morning and I'm plain tuckered out. 

Our little marriage bruhaha made the International Herald Tribune.  I'm just waiting for Pravda to run an article.

i was gonna say that i'm cool with you seein other guys as long as they aint kin.

You mean your kin or my kin?  I'm related to A LOT of people.

I find it interesting how using blogger names for quotes is now done as cavalierly as quotes with real names. Must be a sign of the information age, heh.

All this 'dale talk reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend from San Diego last night. Seems she knew some people who had their cars broken into while attending an event in Bakersfield. I asked her where the event was. She said "E. Roberts Ln, 93308". So if you see anyone with fancy new pewter jewelry that looks rather medieval, I know some people from down south that are looking for it.

neither.  i meant as long as them guys aint kin.

Shwaine - pewter/turqouise/medieval in the dale.....you just descibed the contents of 98% of the jewelery boxes/coffee cans in the 93308.  Throw in dreamcatchers and beer can sculptures and you've got the must have living room look for 2009. 

Hey !  EAsy on the Dreamcatcher thing..I have one too.  Oh..hmmm.. I'm in the 08 too.  Bummer.

nancy, your halfway there, babe.  Don't forget you can always go to the Kern County Fair and win some AC/DC and Led Zeppelin mirrors to spice up that hallway.

Yeah, I told my friend that the next time her buddies are going up this way, don't leave anything in the car. You'd think people from a major city would know this basic concept, but guess not. Only thing in my car is trash, bottled water and cat litter.

WOW..I didn't know I could do that Frankie.  Thanks, now I have something to look forward to.  Who needs those TV shows like Design This Home, I have bloggers to turn to.  I am blessed.  :-)

Nancy~ i have one too,plus the one that was over Kelsey's bed. LOL I'm a 93304-er,but I lived in the Dale way back in the 70's.

I'm thinking about leaving my car unlocked all the time.  Maybe someone will get into it and take my litter.

we all have a little "dale" in us.

Personally, I would never waste a beer to make a stupid sculpture, but my friend Lurleen loves that look.  I like to decorate my trailer with stuff I win at the fair.  I got a Bud mirror and a colored-sand sculpture with fuzzy hair.  I also have several posters.  You know, the usual--Megadeth, Iron Maiden, etc.  My furniture doesn't really match, but it's almost brand new.  I got it from my neighbor's trailer after she violated her parole and got sent back to the pokey.  It's a black pleather couch, with a matching zebra-stripe rug and black macrame shelves that hang from the ceiling.  I know, pretty sophisticated...but it really looks good with my Elvis painting.

As for jewelry---I don't wear it.  It distracts from all my tattoos of my ex-boyfriends names. 

BTW-- Talking about coffee cans reminded me about my coffee can collection.  Turns out I found $4.83!  So see you at the Carousel, Frankie!  My treat!

if you got $4.83 then we should have some change left!

LOL.!  Well, it's been fun blogging with you, Frankie!  You're really cool.  I gotta go take care of about 15 traumas around the house right now.  Have fun!

Does the LA Times have to have permission to use bloggers' names and quotes like that? It doesn't even sound legit, honestly. Shouldn't they be avoiding anonymity? I mean, I know this is just a story about the whole dumb thing and it's just throwing in opinions, but still. Is this a sign of laziness? Gas prices? Lack of sources?

...Or am I just being ridiculous here because I know a thing or two about journalism?

In any case, I guess, congratulations, FSG.

robin.. I believe that because this site is public domain, the quotes are also public domain. 

"Fair use," Robin.  

.

I'm jealous that they didn't quote me.  Ah, well, I've been published in the Times on numerous occasions.  (No, not want ads...)

Yeah, Random.  I've read your quotes.

"Correctional Institute Inmate seeks W/F, 18-30, for pen pal.  Possibility of romance in 2010."

Make that 2012.  They pushed it back.

Sorry, Random.  If you'd stop shanking people for your gang you'd get out sooner. 

Seriously, when were you in the Times?

Frankie and Catherine Baker - thanks for making my day! Your Dale jokes made me laugh out loud. Of course, I too, live in the Dale - in fact, born and raised and still living here! AAACCCCKKKK. Maybe I should have kept that a secret!

In the 70's.  Kind of a weird story, actually.  It was a letter to the editor that took on a life of its own.  My most successful piece of writing and I didn't see a dime from it.

The "we all have a little dale in us" cracked me up.

Well Random, money or not you were published in the Times.  That's more than any of the rest of us can say. 

Thanks, Bakonative.  Frankie was cracking me up, too!

Cat, I know a loser named Jeff who lives in Porterville. He smokes those really nasty, el cheapo make-your-own cigarettes, and his breath is so bad that his nickname is "Turn-around Jeff," because that's what people do when he talks to them. He introduced me to his wife one day; she was a Latina in her early 40s and talked like a barrio tough girl (kinda old for that stuff at 40). I asked him later where he met her, and he replied, "I was her pen pal when she was in Chowchilla."

Hmmm.

The L.A. Times printed the first of my letters when I lived in San Diego in 1997. It was during the time that algore was in a bit of hot water for soliciting ("I didn't do anything wrong, and I promise never to do it again"), and I wrote a letter referring to Clinton and Gore as "hucksters." One of my more liberal professors was mad at me for the next two years; on graduation day he grunted at me.

They printed the second in 2003 when I referred to Gloria Allred as a "misandrist attorney" for representing some woman dredged up from Arnold's distant past in a frivolous lawsuit once it became clear that he would win the election. I lived in Hanford then; not too many people there read the Times. Or much else.

Hey, JBS.  I used to live near Porterville, in a tiny town called Strathmore.  My grandma still lives in Porterville and I go up there to visit her now and then.  My grandma HATES it there.

I existed there for awhile. No bookstores. None. I did have fun tormenting many of the residents there by writing letters to the editor of the Porterville Recorder supporting atheist Patrick Greene's right to file a lawsuit against the city for having a cross in a public park. They wrote reply letters threatening me with Jesus The Attack Dog, and I countered with the U.S. Constitution and a single sentence, "I shudder to think what the median IQ in this town must be." They went berzerk. I loved it.

Well, the usual wingnuts just started another go-around.  The Bakersfield Republican Assembly (the right wing, of the right wing, of the right wing of the local Repugs) wants the Board of Supervisors to pass an ordinance nullifying the Supreme Court decision, and instructing Ann Barnett not to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.  Why not pass an Ordinance of Secession while we're at it.  We could become the Republic of Kern. Our flag could be a field of dead grass bisected by a dry riverbed spotted with killer bees.

Don't forget the empty beer cans!