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Who's going to get the 5 spectators fired up when Cal State Fullerton rolls into town for Tuesday's basketball game against the Roadrunners now Rowdy the Roadrunner has had his costume stolen?

One look at the photo accompanying the above-mentioned blog post and one might wish the thief had made off with the other uniforms instead.

(Talking of stolen goods, whatever happened to Thomas the CALM horse who went missing just over a year ago?)

The Condors have no such trouble drawing fans, but for an atmosphere unparalleled in local sports, check out the state high school wrestling tournament Friday and Saturday at Rabobank. Our Pinheads blog will keep you updated with the action if you can't make it inside the arena. But go if you possibly can. This sporting spectacle doesn't require an announcer telling you when to stand up, clap your hands and 'make some noise.'

ABC23 has posted its video of Condors coach Marty Raymond throwing stuff into the rink in Minor League Ice Hockey Coach Goes Ballistic In Bakersfield.

Here's a disturbing video series of a girl fight in East Bakersfield posted earlier this week. Warning: foul language and girls fighting.

PART 1
PART 2
PART 3

And apparently we have some CQB (close quarter battle) fanatics in Bakersfield posting these videos of their trainings. Warning: Guns look real.

bakersfield airsoft cqb
Bakersfield CQB

For more YouTube videos from Bakersfield, click here.

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I've been reading Sunset , billed as the magazine about "Living in the West," since I was a kid flipping through my parents' copies.  When we moved to Bakersfield and and bought our first home, I eagerly ponied up for my own subscription.

The March 2008 issue came in the mail yesterday, featuring the magazine's 2008 Environmental Awards for the "7 (Hidden) Wonders of the West."  And amongst tropical hideaways in Hawaii, desert oases in Nevada, and sprawling grasslands in Montana and Northern California was a spot right in our own backyard.

Named "Most Unexpected Wilderness" was the Wind Wolves Preserve here in our own Kern County.  From the magazine:

The San Joaquin Valley is California's most utilitarian landscape: flat farm fields divided by Interstate 5. But the Wildlands Conservancy's Wind Wolves Preserve shows what this world was like before agribusiness and SUVs. The 97,000-acre preserve runs from the valley into the Transverse Ranges, offering amazing views and refuge for animals like the San Joaquin kit fox. New this year: a visitor center and campgrounds.

Where it is: Off State 166 near Maricopa, CA.

When to go: Spring and fall are best.

INFO: Open Sat–Sun only; 661/858-1115.

(read a 2006 Californian story on volunteer groups removing the pesky Tamarisk shrubs from the preserve)

-- Jason Sperber

Driving into work today all we wanted was some good music to listen to. We'd forgotten the iPod and the CD player is on the blink so we scrolled through our radio presets.

What we found was a couple of muppets discussing the "American Idol" results, and a typically uninformative discussion about which gas station sells the best gas.

We just wanted some music. In the end we flicked between 93.1 (the 'Pirate' radio which is just a rebellious term for a radio station which consists solely of one 160GB iPod set to shuffle for 24 hours a day) and 103.9 (PLAY, inferior reception to HOT 94.1, but far more music in the a.m. and thus far less mindless prattle).

'Pirate' is so bare bones it can't even be bothered with a Web site.

I suppose in this job we should really be listening to NPR, but c'mon, seriously.

And on the subject of music, check out excerpts from an upcoming Keith Richards interview in which he says about bandmate Mick Jagger: "Mick's a maniac. He can't get up in the morning without knowing immediately who he's going to call."

The whole point of this blog post was to see what people listen to o their way to work: Radio station (which ones), satellite radio, CDs, tapes (!!!!) or iPods?

Best song we heard on the way in (and it didn't have much competition) was this one with video featuring clips from Johnny Depp film.

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We are fully aware that Banana Republic moved into Valley Plaza almost one year ago, but is this Bakersfield's most ritzy chain clothing store?

Sorry downtown boutiques, you're not included in this argument.

Where fashion fears to tread, chain restaurants have no such qualms.

(an hour after I posted this blog, the following chain restaurant announced plans to come here)

It strikes us as just a little bit sad that every single chain restaurant in America is trying to move to Bakersfield, while any clothing store even remotely resembling fashionable is staying well away.

We've had the opening of Famous Dave's in the last couple of weeks, while recently Chick-fil-A announced plans for moving into an old Krispy Kreme building.

But will one ever be able to tote around a Gucci bag with the following words:

London. Paris. New York. Bakersfield.

We may not getting any more fashionable, but we're getting fatter by the day.

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A cursory glance of local news Web sites found this interesting development on Eyewitness News:

Kidnap suspect may be linked to Jessica Martinez kidnap-murder case

Interesting, but apparently a load of bollocks. We checked out this claim and here's what we found.

And this classic opening sentence to a story on KUZZ:

A man screaming, crying and just acting plain weird ...

Plus, Channel 23 newscaster Mike Hart asks Condor fans to behave themselves on his blog, From the Hart.

"I talked to a season ticket holder who said their child was terrified and crying when the barrage began."

And just when you thought it couldn't get any more bizarre, there's Evel Knievel's relative working for Channel 17.

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Just when you thought it was safe to dip your toes in the housing market, our Money Talks blog has discovered Carl Cole is selling homes on the coast.

Cole, the subject of an ongoing FBI investigation (along with former partner David Crisp), is employed by Keller Williams Realty in its Camarillo branch.

(Actually, no he's not. According to a

he's no longer with the company.)

There is no mention of the investigation on Cole's bio (which has now been taken down), but it did note a couple of obstacles that Carl has overcome: Childhood poverty and cancer.

Check out our special section on Crisp and Cole for other obstacles the pair will probably have to overcome.

In other I-Guess-That's-Why-They-Call-It-The-Blues news, Elton John is coming to the Rabobank.

Crisp and Cole may not get a street named after them, but Merle Haggard did. And now he wants to answer your questions.

Elton John is coming back to the Rabobank.

Tickets are $49.50 to $89.50.

Meanwhile, Channel 17 talked to former Crisp and Cole broker Ty Stewart, who "wasn't taken advantage of" by the pair. According to the story, Stewart now lives with Crisp.

Talking about fishy, yesterday we wondered about the dearth of fish restaurants in Bakersfield. In the seafood category of our Inside Guide (where you can read and write reviews of local restaurants) there are nine entries. Of these, three are Long John Silver's (aye matey) and one is a fantasy diner!

The search continues.

And finally, Starbucks is closing for three hours today to teach its baristas to make coffee. But it's not closing until 5:30 p.m. so if you desperately need coffee after that you've either run out of crack or you need to try McCafe.

Check out our video of McDonald's foray into the posh coffee market. Classic.

Would you give up Starbucks for a tortoise? Why is Obama dressed like a chicken sandwich? Is Nicole Parra dating your ex?

Wait a minute!

Let Bakosphere clear up the confusion. Here are some breaking news and topics of discussion that Californian staffers are currently blogging about:

Around the Web: Pet tortoise sets house on fire

The Pulse: Would you give up Starbucks for health insurance?

Politics Anyone: Clinton staffers circulate pictures of Obama

Money Talks: Chick-fil-A coming to town

Politics Anyone: More on Parra-Florez spat

Talk of the Town: Would you date your friend's ex? 

Calling all Hemingways.

Can you describe Bakersfield in 6 words?

Check out the Charlotte Observer's take on this exercise.

Britain's Daily Telegraph asked readers to sum up their lives in 6 words.

Here's Bakosphere's effort:

"Hot, in all the unlikely places"

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After trying to find a dedicated fish restaurant in town Friday night, our travels took us to Uricchio's for sand dabs, which are never a bad option.

Check out what locals are saying about Uricchios.

But it did beg the question that Bakersfield doesn't have a true fish restaurant. I know, I know, there's Red Lobster on Rosedale Highway, but despite the high prices and long wait time, there's something decidedly hooptie-booptie about this restaurant though I'm not sure what it is.

Red Lobster? Hooptie? What do locals think?

Is it any surprise Bakersfield doesn't have a special fish restaurant? We are sort of in the desert after all. But if there's no fish restaurants, which are the best fish dishes around?

Incidentally, before Uriccchio's we stopped in Maxwell's for a drink and were told by the bartender that the salmon was the best salmon in town. We were also told (by the same bartender) that last week he had to fight off a 40-year-oldish woman who was flashing him and trying to make out with him. We would have preferred the story to end with the salmon.

Final piece of advice comes from chef Anthony Bourdain who will NEVER eat fish on Mondays unless he's at a 4-star joint.

As we Bakersfieldians begin our low-speed evening commute tonight, gripping our steering wheels, half-paralyzed by the fear that only 0.002 inches of rainfall can inspire, our thoughts will turn toward the weekend.

We know the weekend is shot, at least according to the forecast.

It’ll be too rainy to barbecue. Oh well, our lip-on ribeyes and beef parts got recalled anyway.

We'll go out to eat instead. You never know who you might run in to.

There’s plenty to do this weekend. Our Best Bets list is a good place to start. Or, check our full calendar.

Whatever you do, remember to wear your clothes.

And look out for carnies.

Enjoy!

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We're not trying to upset Kern's cattleman and cattlewoman of the year, and heaven forbid a brawl like the one following East High's soccer game erupts over this, but we're just really fancying some fish for dinner tonight.

We're not Catholic, but we're not eating meat tonight. And despite the new-look Jack in the Boxes going up all over town, tainted beef is tainted beef.

So we're sticking with fish, and no, Steve Merlo (he of the brilliant local Outdoors column), we ain't into catching no fish ourselves.

But where do you go in Bakersfield to get the freshest, tastiest fish?

This is what you get if you ask Google.

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People might not think Bakersfield is big enough for two major celebrities, but there they were Thursday dodging the paparazzi while raising money for sick children.

Singer Jewel sang at KUZZ's studios to raise money for the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

And then this gem from ABC23's Web site:

"The next celebrity was ABC23's Jackie Parks."

And while you're on the site, how about a shoutout from weatherman (and unofficial Red Bull spokesman) Lloyd Lindsay Young.

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At issue is whether it's unpatriotic to stand during the national anthem without your hand over your heart. This has nothing to do with the Barack Obama photo (see photo here), but rather the photo which ran this weekend in The Californian

Two Californian readers were incensed that a CSUB basketball player and assistant coach didn't put their hands over their hearts. Read their letters to the editor here.

Sports columnist Andy Kehe posted this response to his blog, Zero Point Zero.

But if you really want to show the terrorists who's boss, learn the lyrics to the anthem and belt them out the next time you attend a sporting event.

Just please, don't pull a Roseanne Barr!

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Nothing much going on this morning, but it's going to be a gloomy day in Bakersfield because there was red sky when I woke up.

Red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning.

Regardless of today's prediction, yesterday was a tough day for these locals. They were all arrested Wednesday in Kern County.

And this doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I imagine more than a few men (and women) are relieved that the search can finally be called off.

And finally, in case you missed the eclipse last night, local blogger sagefever took a picture. Apparently the view is better through blue-mirrored glasses.

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The alleged actions of a carnival worker at last weekend’s Whiskey Flat Days are no laughing matter.

But carnies, in general, are. No getting around that. For this we blame society.

We also blame Austin Powers, who disclosed his greatest fear to millions of moviegoers: "Carnies. Circus Folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands."

In the event one runs afoul of a carny, it’s best to know the language. Make every effort to put them at ease. Then, back away slowly. After you’re a good 10 yards away, run.

Same goes for scary clowns.

Hold your children close, and let's be careful out there.

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Don't get me wrong, I like downtown. I love the bars and the boutiques, the beggars and the bigmouths.

Take an interactive tour with our nightlife map.

But I realize downtown has its 'issues.' Dilapidated buildings and too many brawls on the weekends. Sometimes the only thing that sparkles is the broken glass on Monday mornings.

But I never considered parking to be a problem.

Well apparently it is. Luckily the best downtown minds of our generation are on it and they discussed it at this morning's state of downtown meeting. Their solution: A trolley with a fresh paint job.

And there's more good news for downtowners. We're getting a doggie day care. And if your dog is a complete nutter it can even have its own suite. No, it's not going in the Padre.

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According to a story on local TV station 29 Eyewitness News, the Federal Railroad Administration has ordered train horns to be silenced in downtown Bakersfield.

The deadline for compliance is around March 4, the story says.

The noise had been particularly bad at BHS and forced some students to participate in a brawl (see a video on the brawl here) on Jan. 25.  Actually, that's not the reason, but seeing as no one has said what the brawl was about, it's worth making something up. Here's our last story on the fight.

And in another story that has nothing to do with trains or their horns, Americans are happier than they've been since ... August, according to a new poll. Expect the mood to increase exponentially when those infernal horns stop blowing.

— Andrew Mockett

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A 15-year-old died after colliding mid-air with another teenager while riding a motorcycle off-road during the holiday weekend in California City. Read the story about Sunday's accident.

Here's a couple of other recent off-road accidents:

Man killed in off-road vehicle crash near Boron

Boy suffers major injuries in off-road vehicle accident

But despite the accidents, off-roading is as popular as ever. Check out our story about off-roading at Imperial Sand Dunes.

And it ain't just the guys roaring around the dunes, as our audio slideshow documents.

Are the accidents generally caused by negligent driving, overcrowded conditions, too-powerful vehicles, or a combination of these? And what can be done to cut down on the number of accidents?

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In a strange twist to the ongoing David Crisp saga, KRAB morning show host Francis staked out the embattled real estate agent in a restaurant parking lot and posted a video of the confrontation, calling Crisp some choice words and mocking his Mercedes convertible.

The video was all the talk on KRAB this morning.

To his credit, Crisp handles the assault well, calmly placing what we assume is a half-eaten Wood'ys Burger in his trunk and driving off.

It all feels very TMZ-like.

Don't we have better local "celebrities" to harass?

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In Cuba, Fidel Castro resigns as president after nearly a half-century in power.

Read a profile of Castro here.

Watch the 'fall' of Castro in this video, or Kramer's experience with Cuban cigars!

Will the U.S. be better off without Castro leading Cuba?

— Andrew Mockett

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Diablo gets his friends high on crack, angel dust and heroin with no regrets, while Cuco only comes out at night, eats stale chips and cheats at cards.
Diablo and Cuco are Homies, (click here for the official site) inch-long
plastic dolls depicting life in the barrio. They can be purchased for as little as 50
cents in Latino grocery stores or kitschy boutiques.
They're controversial, but popular (according to an article in the Denver
Post) and they dance with their elbows up, going side to side. Actually, I made that part up, but here's a video of said dance.



 

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Rory Emerald is at it again. The notorious prankster has been posting fake classifieds for things like H.G. Wells' time machine, Doris Day's pearl necklace, and Babe Ruth's uniform recently.

Then, he hit Bakersfield. This time, he claimed to be selling Merle Haggard's peace pipe in The Bakersfield Californian.  Apparently, about 150 people called in response.

Obviously, Rory targeted Hag's hometown knowing he'd get a big response. The musician just played to a full house at the Fox theater last night and attended an official street-naming ceremony in his honor yesterday.

But has Rory learned his lesson? According to this blog on the Galveston County Daily News Web site, he called that paper and begged them to remove his fake ad. "Apparently, folks in Galveston have been burning up Emerald's cell-phone minutes to claim the original dinner menu and passenger list from the Titanic. The ad was a joke that Emerald has grown tired of," Rhiannon Meyers wrote.

Here are some more pranks he's pulled: (apparently he's done this more than 70 times)

Fresno Bee: Judy Garland's red slippers from "The Wizard of Oz."

Aspen Times AND Iowa City Press-Citizen: Car used in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"

The Missoulian: Egyptian sarcophagus and mummy

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Good news for an Oildale couple last night when their blue-nose pit bull puppies were returned after being stolen the day before.
Blue-nose pit bulls are apparently quite valuable but not as valuable as those with green legs and purple ears.
What's odd about the story is that the teen who returned the dogs and collected the $500 reward check later came back and asked for cash instead. He said the teens who stole the puppies were threatening him.
Who is Tyler and what is his role in the whole affair.
On the plus side, in 6 months or so no prospective thief will go anywhere near those dogs.

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Like most readers, the pruno-fueled brawl the other day at Lerdo jail had us asking the important questions: "What, exactly, is pruno?" "What does it taste like?" And, naturally, "Can I make it myself?"

Turns out that pruno isn't worth fighting for. Even if you're in the Big House. And enjoy Happy Hour.

As Modern Drunkard magazine found: "Classic pruno tastes like a bottle of Thunderbird filtered through a dumpster full of rotted garbage. Also, a stray dog laps it up from the alley floor and vomits it into a dirty hubcap."

This upstanding and informative periodical actually dared to brew and drink the stuff. Check out the results here.

An outfit called Blacktable also dared brew it. Similar results.

Bottom line: Yet another convincing argument to stay out of prison.

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Bakersfield resident Sandra Rubio had 16 potted sago palms stolen from her front yard over the weekend. Check out http://static.bakersfield.c...>Bakersfield.com's video about it.

It's amazing the lengths people go to to steal palms. Apparently, it's worth risking getting caught, since palms can sell for thousands of dollars on the "green" market.

Here's a funny video from YouTube I found by a guy who had his palm trees stolen. Don't know if it'll get his trees back, but at least he can make fun of the situation. His tips? Get a chain or a big dog to protect your trees.

And here's some actual footage of some guys stealing a fake, plastic palm tree. Oh, the things people do on video.

Seriously, though, palm tree thieves are a real problem. Cemeteries in Bakersfield had a rash of palm pilfering back in 2005. An archived article by The Bakersfield Californian offered these tips for keeping your trees safe: Plant them in the back yard, install motion sensor lights, plant trees close to the house, plant big trees that are harder to steal.

Those tips might help Sandra, save for the sensor lights. Her trees were stolen in daylight. Her neighbors saw nothing?

— Jennifer Baldwin, Contributions Editor

Valentine's Day is Thursday and we're all over it like a particularly irksome rash.

See how much locals will be spending on their sweetheart in our daily poll.

That might help you answer this question from our Around the Web blog: Why aren't you having sex?

And to help you in that department, check out last-minute local gift ideas.

Can't afford a gift? Submit your words of love to our Valentine's Day page and then text message your partner the url. How romantic is that?

— Andrew Mockett

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Shannon Parker of Bakersfield survived an attack by a mountain lion in 2004. She recently told her story to Californian columnist Herb Benham, who wrote this article and shot http://static.bakersfield.c...>this video.

After the attack, and during her surgeries and recovery, Shannon appeared in many national television interviews and articles. Here are some I found through a Google search:

CNN — Then & Now: Shannon Parker
June 27, 2005
Shannon Parker survived a mountain lion attack while hiking last summer, but she lost an eye and suffered deep wounds to her face and leg.

ABC — Woman Says Anger Saved Her From Lion Attack
Feb. 18, 2005
Last June, Shannon Parker and her friends went for an afternoon hike in California's Sequoia National Forest. During that outing, Parker was attacked by a mountain lion, which clamped its strong jaws onto her face and then her leg for nine excruciating minutes.

CNN -- Larry King Live
Aired March 1, 2005
Scroll down the transcript for the interview with Shannon Parker, mountain lion attack survivor

List of mountain lion attacks in California
Scroll down to 2004 to read the synopsis of Shannon's attack

 — Jennifer Baldwin, Contributions Editor

Does it matter how it tastes if it's free?

McDonalds is apparently testing its new espresso drinks in the Bakersfield market by offering free coffee on Mondays. Today it was mocha; next week it's latte. Prices range from $1.99 to $3.29. That's cheaper than Starbucks' prices, which start at $2.65 for "tall" (read: small) espresso drinks.

How will Starbucks react? They're already feeling the squeeze. A couple of weeks ago, the company started testing $1 drip coffees in its hometown of Seattle. A regular cup of McDonald's coffee is $1.07, according to the BusinessWeek article.

The part I'm really sad about is that while McDonald's is adding espresso drinks to its menu of sandwiches, Starbucks announced two weeks ago that it's eliminating its warm breakfast sandwiches. While splurging with my Starbucks gift cards from Christmas, I've been indulging in the pepper bacon egg sandwhich. Guess it's back to the Egg McMuffin. For more on the changes, check out this blog, Starbucks Gossip.

Interestingly, former Channel 17 business reporter Gaylen Young made this YouTube video at one of the Bakersfield McDonald's today, in which he interviewed the guy who grows the coffee beans.

— Jennifer Baldwin, Contributions Editor