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What will open first?

The Padre.

The City Lofts.

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Is this the scariest 7/11 in Bakersfield? In Californian? In the U.S.?

It's right opposite from Chester Lane Market (on the corner of Chester Lane and A Street).

A couple of years ago, this happened at the Chester Lane Market:

Bakersfield Police Department officials released a tape Friday of an attempted robbery and shooting on Thursday night as they continued to search for the gunman.
The video showed the man pulling out a gun and a plastic bag, shouting for money and firing shots. Donald Batsch, owner of Chester Lane Market, was taken to Kern Medical Center with moderate injuries.

If you're a shifty type, chances are you'll find yourself at this intersection at some point in your life.

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Couple of funny things.

The Republicans are meeting in the NUTTER center. Hah!

And this photo. Don't let anyone tell you you can't afford a $650 car payment. Your mid-life crisis is worth so much more than that.

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Locals are quick to criticize our parks and rec departments. The trash overflows on holiday weekends, the river never runs through Yokuts anymore, trucks run over people.

But Bakosphere is here to laud the Kern County Parks and Recreation department and specifically director Bob Lerude.

He solved a delicate problem with a cost-efficient and environmentally friendly solution.

Nice one Bob!

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Dan Pacheco is The Californian's senior manager of digitial products.

He plans and implements our blogging software.

You have to read his e-mails eight times before you know what he's going on about.

AND HE'S AT INVESCO FIELD TO WATCH OBAMA!

Follow along with Dan's Twitter 'tweets' and learn about anti-McCain condoms and Democratic beer.

And get your own free account here. 

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I'm a September 1st man myself, though I've heard others say end of September or even the last day of the Kern County Fair.

I realize those pesky 100-degree days may make a surprise appearance in September, but the leaves are littering the yard and the worst is over.

When do you consider summer to be over?

Best thing about Bakersfield?

When the citizens are indoors.

Worst thing about Bakersfield?

The filth that's on the highways.

Bakersfield Life magazine's restaurant reviewers are as generous with their stars as the Hollywood Walk of Fame. John Stamos and Billy Dee Williams for crying out loud.

Another review. Another 5 stars across the board. This time it is Joseph's on F street, which received an average of 3.5 stars on our Inside Guide.

KC Steakhouse: DDs give it 5 stars (avg. review 3.5 stars)

The Orchid: DDs give it 5 stars (avg. 3 stars)

Champs BBQ: DDs give it 5 stars (avg. 3.5 stars)

Aren't divas supposed to be notoriously hard to please?

Yes, yes you are.

It's just a little hard to feel any semblance of sympathy.

Sad, sad story (involving a $4,500 mortgage payment) here.

Here's the opening of the story. The 'victim' is home owner and real estate broker David “Ty” Stewart.

The Southern Oaks house where David Crisp has been staying in recent months — after the once high-flying Realtor lost all of his own properties to foreclosure — fell into default Tuesday, county records show.

We stumbled across this review of the new Tilted Kilt on our Inside Guide section (no, we're not alerted whenever the word 'boob' appears on bakersfield.com).

The in-depth review includes this great line:

"He is a boob man, but didn't seem too impressed by any of the girls that passed by."

More restaurant reviews can be found here.

And bakosphere's post about exorbitant Guinness prices is here.

You may remember our correspondence with Jorge from Radio Free Bakersfield, where he explained the name and nature of his podcast.

He wanted to link to us from his site.

Just got an e-mail from him, stating simply: You are bannered.

This makes us almost as giddy as when those pesky atheists boosted our poll.

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Each week our Visual Team leaders choose their favorite local photos of the week and explain their decisions in our Week in Pictures audio slideshow.

Check it out here.

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Who knew Michelle Obama was so in touch with the spirit of Bakersfield?

There she is on the front page of today's Californian stealing a line from our city's world famous slogan.

Tonight: Hillary Clinton takes a page out of Jacquie Sullivan's notebook for her closing flourish:

"In Obama We Trust."

Whenever the blue recycling cans come out in our neighborhood, the self-employed entrepreneurs are never far behind.

Why bother with those stinky brown toters when the shiny blue ones have the recyclables all sorted out in advance. We may as well provide a pair of disposable gloves in case there's a drop of Coke residue left in the can.

But perhaps not for too much longer.

The California Senate has approved legislation that would help police track down people who raid curbside recycling bins.

The bill is also aimed at stopping thefts from newspaper racks. This aspect of the law may affect our Hot Rack contest, but that's another story for another time.

Ice cream trucks are supposed to be colorful and friendly, just the type of vehicles to lure smiley kids and their benevolent parents.

A pleasant little jingle, a nice man with a mustache and a clean apron, perhaps even a large, bold, 'mind the children' warning stenciled sensibly on the back.

Ice cream trucks are not supposed to look like this.

(Although the grass verge on the bottom of the truck is a nice touch)

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Driving back from L.A. this weekend, everywhere I looked there was a Toyota Prius (usually white, because those ones are even more virginal pure and better for the environment) cruising along on the I-5.

Around town in Bako, I never pay much attention to the drivers' faces, but yesterday I detected more than a touch of smugness. One older driver with wild Gallagher (he of the smashing watermelon fame) hairdo had a bumper sticker which simply said, "Peacemonger."

We all know you're 'doing your part'. We realize you're saving buckets of cash on the rare occasions you put gas in that thing.

We realize you're better than us. You don't need to rub it in. Just clench your teeth while driving like the rest of us and stop looking so pleased with yourselves.

— Andrew Mockett

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Each week our visual team leaders choose their favorite local photos of the week and explain their picks.

Check out this week's audio slideshow here.

Which one is your favorite?

And if you want more on the dog rescuer/hoarder check out our separate slideshow here.

Bakersfield Life magazine has an ongoing tournament to discover the greatest thing about Bakersfield.

A Condors official (the Condors were edged out by the Kern County Fair) remembers his skill at predicting previous tournament winners and offers his picks for this tournament. Check out his entertaining blog post here.

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FOXNews is currently airing a segment about Fort Lauderdale kite surfers playing around as Tropical Storm Fay approaches. One is in critical condition after slamming into a building. An hour ago when we first got to work the mayor (or some official) was saying residents are not complacent about Fay because "there's a lot of intelligent people in Florida." That's like saying there are too many intelligent people playing on the Kern River for anything bad to happen.

We also read last night that Dana White (founder of UFC) said his sport will eventually be bigger than the NFL and bigger than World Cup soccer. He said a few other things, notably about fighter Tito Ortiz, who used to wrestle at Cal State and is now dating porn star Jenna Jameson.

And lastly, a dead horse is found in an empty Bakersfield lot. Thanks to Eyewitness News Channel 29's Carol Ferguson for getting to the bottom of this mystery. All it took was one quote from a neighbor and we felt suddenly enlightened:

"It's not too good," Doven Dabor said. "That's not too good."

Today's tip of the day:

"If a helicopter is hovering overhead, shining a light on your house, you should definitely lock your doors."

— Sgt. Tim Melanson, supervisor of the Kern County Sheriff's Air Support Unit.

The great ghetto bird video is here.

Every week we link to the Radio Free Bakersfield podcast which promises (and unfailingly delivers) 60 minutes of twang, crunch and oomph.

So imagine our delight when the man who puts this podcast together e-mailed us thanking us for the kind words and providing some background to the show and its name.

Here's Radio Free Bakersfield's site (this post will be better enjoyed by clicking on the link and having the music caressing and poking you in the background).

In Jorge's own words:

"RFB was named by John from Bang Cartoon when we were discussing the
kind of music I'd be playing on the podcast when it was being
conceived over two years ago. Since I was in a band at the time called
the Spahn Ranch Boys, I wanted to call it the Spahn Ranch Dance Party.
We were discussing the Bakersfield Sound as being an influence on SRB
& other bands I planned on playing; he came up with RFB. Sounded
catchy enough, so we went with both. Of course, it hardly covers the
variety of music on the show as it's grown, but it's become sort of a
brand now.

And yes, it has been brought to my attention about the pirate radio
show with a similar name that apparently existed years ago...what can
I say? RFB was on show 35 or so when I heard about that--I even said
something on a show at the time that we were not affiliated with them,
by request of the gal who told me about it (apparently she was a DJ
back then). From what I understand, they no longer exist & haven't for
some time. Had I known about that in 2006, we'd have gone with SRDP.
Believe me, I had no clue the show would have lasted this long or that
anyone was gonna be listening to it. I didn't even know what a podcast
was when John offered me the slot. That answer your question?

And here's what John from Bang Cartoon said:

"'Bakersfield' is synonymous with honky tonk country ass music in my
mind...and 'radio free' is always a rebellious term...so I just put
the two together."

RFB is righteous!

I paid $7 for a Guinness last night at the Tilted Kilt. That in itself should go down as one of the greatest crimes this city has ever witnessed.

But it was more than that. It was more evidence that, accommodations aside, it's no cheaper to live here than it is San Francisco, or L.A. or San Diego. Our cheap cost of living is mostly an illusion.

We pay the same gas prices as the bigger cities to the north and south. Eating out costs about the same, as does filling up the grocery cart. And in all my statewide travels I don't think I've paid $7 for a draft beer unless it was in a ritzy nightclub.

I'm not blaming the Kilt and it's tattooed and moley legion of workers. It seems a nice enough place and it was busy on a Sunday night so its obviously doing something right. They were showing the Olympics on one of their many nice TVs and most of the male clientele appeared interested in the global events of the night.

— Andrew Mockett

The time for summer reading may be at the end, but the Kern County Library has put out a list of recommended vampire books for teens - just in time for autumn and Halloween! (gosh, it is right around the corner, isn't it?)

If you have a recommended reading list, share it with the library's "Staff Suggests" blog. They offer lists for kids, adults, travelers, book clubs and more. What's better? It's FREE reading!!!

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Quick contest.

Looking for best suggestion as to how U.S. gymnast Jonathan Horton got the XXX award.

Here's bakosphere's effort to get you started:

"Horton caught in uncompromising position with the pommel horse."

Anyone who thinks the print product is dead should head downtown to our newsroom and help answer the phones!

A production problem has delayed delivery of The Bakersfield Californian until around 10 a.m. and the phone is ringing off the hook.

Estella from support services is handling the switchboard like a woman possessed. It's an Olympic-type performance in her cube. She's amazing.

I'm half hoping she'd tell the next caller, 'sorry, we don't do newspapers anymore.'

But that's probably not a good idea.

So anyway, newspapers by 10 ish.

Our huge apologies.

It's at Pizzaville on Saturday.

Go to TomW's blog for details and discussion.

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Watch the Olympic athlete stuffing a McDonald's burger in their piehole.

But wait, isn't that BC's Memorial Stadium in the background? Channel 29's investigative reporter has discovered that yes it is.

And a word to the wise. It's OK for Olympic athletes to eat McDonald's because they are burning thousands more calories than you and I. Just because Micheal Phelps eats 12,000 calories a today (roughly one and a half double cheeseburgers) it doesn't mean you should do the same.

Apparently Ronald McDonald wanted to choose a time when the stadium would be empty, so the shoot was filmed during halftime of a BC football game.

Commercial here.

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We were chinwagging in our morning meeting about ongoing plans to revitalize downtown when a co-worker had the audacious idea of submitting a bid to host the Olympics in 2020.

We missed the deadline for filing a bid for the 2016 Olympics and 2012 has already been awarded to London.

You've only got to watch some of the Games from Beijing to see what it did for their city, and we've certainly got a steely law enforcement in case protesters or journalists get out of line.

But to host an Olympics you need appropriate venues. Here's a tentative list:

Swimming and diving: McMurtrey (Bonus: Gold medalists get a free trip down the slide)

Track and field: BHS stadium (Bonus: The dirt track is older than the Games itself)

Rowing: Buena Vista Lake (Bonus: Losers must swim from their boat to the shore)

Fencing: Martin Luther King Jr. Park (Bonus: There's some weapons left over from the last gang fight)

Any more venue suggestions?

(The winning city is expected to be announced by mid-2013, which gives our city council almost enough time to get going on this)

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KGET 17 has a story about adult store, Sensations, opening in downtown Bako.

And you'd never guess, but not everyone's happy about it.

First from a nearby store owner who is dismayed the filthy porn factory is the same color as her restaurant:

"I just want everyone to know that I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with this business. The colors are just a copycat."

And another local store owner who realizes little kids will be fighting over themselves to enter the pinky perverted porn palace:

"It does steer people away from our place because let's face it, an 8 year old can read."

The story is here.

It's Tuesday and that can only mean one thing:

60 minutes of twang, crunch and oomph on Radio Free Bakersfield.

And our Beijing bonus for today: The playlist.

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Anytime you hear about a Bakersfield documentary, filmed by amateurs and taking in such quintessentially Bako sites as the Marketplace and Little League baseball diamonds, you get all excited

Well don't.

You've been warned.

Last Rites
Can the Condors save baseball in Bakersfield?
So is this the end of minor league baseball in Bakersfield? If I were in Vegas, I’d be putting a few bucks on Sam Lynn Ball Park being vacant come April 1.
But there might be an unlikely player in saving baseball. Who? How about an owner that knows something about building a successful, fan-friendly minor league organization in Bakersfield. (full blog post here)
— assistant sports editor Ross Priest

Money Talks
C&C: Crisp v Cole
Crisp is now cross examining Cole. He has improved questioning technique but it is still not always clear where line of questions is going.
I think: He is trying to show how charitable and thoughtful Crisp & Cole was.
He had Cole list off the things they sponsored: Lung Association and Heart Association fundraisers, $275,000 for a golf tournament at Cal State Bako. (full blog post here)
— Growth and Economy reporter Gretchen Wenner

Bakosphere
Bakersfield vs. Beijing
4. Food
Beijing has scorpion kebabs. Bakersfield has pickled tongue. Advantage: Tie.
5. Famous landmarks
You can't actually see the Great Wall from the moon (despite the popular claim), but you can see the Stiers RV flag. Advantage: Bakersfield. (full blog post here)
— assistant contributions editor Andrew Mockett

City Beat
McCallum drops, Hanson files
Seriously, people, run! Sue Benham is a Democrat, Jacquie Sullivan runs a nonprofit, and Harold Hanson is an immigrant! That should be reason enough for some people.
(Hanson is Canadian by birth. He's a citizen, of course, although you can never be sure where his bacon loyalties will lie when the chips are down.) (full blog post here)
— city reporter James Geluso

Cheapskate
$5 buys at Gottschalks that's closing
Last night I bought three winter dresses for the grand total of $16.09 with tax.
The occasion? The store closing sale at the Gottschalks (former Harris location at East Hills Mall). Last day: Aug. 23. (full blog post here)
— Growth and Economy team leader Christine Peterson

Breaking News Team
Man shot to death in southwest Bakersfield
People crowded the Le Corruse Rouge Restaurant parking lot late Thursday night where Adam Maya, identified by family, died after being shot several times.
Rick Anderson, a man from Riverside County, performed CPR on Maya. He kept apologizing to Maya's family that he couldn't save him. Anderson told them Maya's last words, "tell her I love her." (full blog post here)
— Breaking News Team reporter Felix Doligosa

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1. Air quality

Even on our worse day, our miserable air quality is 10 to 50 times better than Beijing's. Advantage: Bakersfield.

2. Traffic

Beijing's gridlocked streets are nothing compared to Rosedale Highway. Advantage: Beijing.

3. Location

Beijing stretches about 100 miles from east to west. If Bakersfield stretched 100 miles north we'd be in Fresno. Advantage: Beijing.

4. Food

Beijing has scorpion kebabs. Bakersfield has pickled tongue. Advantage: Tie.

5. Famous landmarks

You can't actually see the Great Wall from the moon (despite the popular claim), but you can see the Stiers RV flag. Advantage Bakersfield.

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After 47 years of service the Navy's oldest active ship, the USS Kitty Hawk makes its final voyage before retirement.

A young Bakersfield woman was among those waiting for the delayed supercarrier.

Check out the story here.

Apologies if someone has already linked to this prescient story.

Idiot to post comment on Internet

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This photo was taken by Californian photographer Casey Christie of a silhouetted man walking under the bridge on 24th Street near Beach Park.

Here's bakosphere's to get you started:

A riverbed runs through it.

Oh, has someone used that before?

Man: "It's drier than Gandhi's sandals down here."

You've got to hand it to those vigilant local Republicans.

First, they found out why your PG&E bill is so high.

Now they're turning their attention to California teachers.

Yes, teachers, like energy suppliers, love gays too.

Yesterday it was MTV looking for local help and today it's Bakotopia's turn to scroll the blogosphere for help.

That's right, our crazy cousin across the street is looking for an intern.

All that's required are equal measures cool, patient and a propensity not to bore. Those of us not possessing those traits work on the south side of 18th.

Good luck Bakotopia!

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Each week our visual team leaders pick their favorite local photos of the week and explain the reasons behind their decisions.

Check out the latest slideshow here.

Judging from some of the comments we've seen on these blogs, many of you would love a chance to speak one on one with school board member Chad Vegas.

Well, Dr. BLT has set up an interview with the Chadster and he wants his fellow bloggers to send him their questions.

Visit blognroll here and pose your question.

And just wait until the atheists over at Pharyngula get wind of this!

According to this story on the 29/58 TV Web site, Bakersfield's information technology division is under investigation and has been for a couple of weeks.

Seems like it has something to do with how police records were released by a different department.

The details are like most IT stuff: Difficult to understand.

Who doesn't have casting experience? Who hasn't watched "Next" and said, "what is that tool doing on TV?"

Bakersfield job description here.

Oh for the days of music videos.

Wonder what show MTV is casting for. Perhaps it's a new one. Perhaps it's ... it's ... it's ...

REAL WORLD BAKERSFIELD!

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One of the Condors' media guys has posted an entertaining account of a goodbye meal for player Sean Venedam, involving a 12-pack of Red Stripe, the restaurant bill and other shenanigans.

Check it out here.

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Check out vwilroy's blog about the stabbing at the Lowrider Nationals which includes another blogger's first hand account of the incident.

Here's our news story of the incident, and the feature story showcasing the calm before the storm. 

In unrelated news, violence was not expected at this large gathering.

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Don't know how the city of Bakersfield would react to kids tearing up the Beale Park ampitheater, but here's a cool video of three inline skaters shredding the ledge seating. Officials would probably say: "Stick to the skate park at Beach Park!" But we say, gnarly dude. Sweet vid.

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Allena Hansen, the hiker who was mauled by a bear on Piute Mountain Road two weeks ago, is now home recovering and has given an interview to ABC News about her ordeal.

Despite warnings of "severe disfigurement" in the article and video, we think she looks great. She's certainly feisty, calling the bear a "bully" and a "little bugger."

You go girl! To us, you're a hero!

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Remember when inky artwork on your body was strictly the domain of grungy rockers and crusty old sailors?

Tattoos have become infinitely more mainstream since then, but today it became cooler to not have a tattoo after KGET 17's Kevin Charette disclosed (live, during the noon broadcast) that he couldn't participate in his station's blood drive because he's now inked up.

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A sense of normalcy has returned to our little old bakersfield.com poll after the poor thing was almost crippled by activity the past couple of days.

Our poll of two days ago asking if atheists should be allowed to hold public office (based on some things our school board trustee said earlier in the week) was bombarded with responses from bloggers over at Pharyngula, a site with lots of passionate people and pictures of funny looking creatures on it.

Our bakosphere post on the boosting of our poll (which as it turns out is not half as sexy as one might think) led to some great exchanges and witty repartee between our farmers and their scientists.

Today's poll is about pit bulls (it's at the bottom of the homepage) and whether they get a bad rap.

It reminds us of an old joke, which you might not find funny if it's happened to you:

What's got four legs and an arm?

A pit bull.