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Former Foothill football star Joey Porter is so disgusted with the financial markets he wants to take his millions and dig a hole.

We all feel very sorry for the Dolphins linebacker. Must be tough.

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Congratulations to blogger ActaNonVerba for the closest prediction of today's Dow activity.

Acta predicted a 500-point jump; the Dow just closed at +485.21.

Bakosphere was 467 points off in its prediction.

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Today's top Twitter tweet comes from adamschwartz:

Nothing says "Bakersfield" like smoking while pregnant.

Twitter is free, fun and mildly addictive. Sign up for your account here. Unfortunately we're not getting any money for recommending this service!

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Usually when the BPD asks for the public's help in solving a crime, they include a composite photo of a hooded killer or the grainy surveillance video of a bank robbery suspect.

The latest plea for community assistance attempts to locate the owner of a stolen cell phone.

Intriguing BPD press release here.

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Every now and then we stumble across a local blog which delights us.

Today's recommended blog is imaginatively titled The Travelling Circus, and describes itself as, "All the caravan travel and death-defying stunts, none of the animal cruelty. Follow our adventures around the world!"

Anytime you can take a Swede to the fair (we're betting he's the guy on the right) and thoroughly confuse him, you deserve our respect.

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When we're not incurring the wrath of angry Christians, chronicling the peregrinations of a man on Bakersfield's mystery powder, or relaying the wise words of Inga Barks, Bakosphere stares at the TV screen nearby and watches the Dow go up and down like a nodding donkey in Lost Hills.

So yesterday was particularly thrilling in a depressing kind of way.

One minute we'll be watching and it will be way up. An hour later we'll check again and all the gains have been wiped out.

At the time of posting the Dow is UP 237.9 points.

Bakosphere is betting it will close up 18 points.

What's your prediction?

Polls will close at 9:30 a.m. our time.

The following information from a BPD press release caught our eye:
 
Undercover officers conducted a “minor decoy” operation targeting the establishments within the fairgrounds that are licensed to sell alcoholic beverages.  Of the thirteen establishments licensed to sell alcohol that were visited, nine were in compliance by refusing to sell to the minor decoys.  Four businesses were in violation by selling alcohol to an undercover juvenile operative.  These businesses were identified as;
Serban’s Buckhorn
Bakersfield Host Lions Club
Golden West Concessions
Believers In Jesus

Read the entire release at our Breaking News Team blog.

And here's some info on the billboard picture.

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Scott Cox got such a puny punishment for stealing Chad Vegas' campaign signs that bcom blogger witbee thinks Cox has license to break more laws:

I didn't listen this morning so I don't know what he said. I can't imagine he actually ate any crow, though. The station pretty much bent over for him and he knows it. He's got license to do whatever he wants now. What next, sex with animals?

And while we're on the topic of unusual behavior, a naked prowler broke into an Inyokern garage and was found by the resident sitting in a car.

That news item on the BreakingNewsTeam blog elicited the following response from blogger OldBlue56:

Since it was Ridgecrest, it was probably a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba. That "soft Corinthian leather" would probably feel pretty good on his naked butt and sack...

It's not all fun and games and bestiality and nudity though, as the following comment illustrates. Blog commenter JeffHarbin said a solid recession will be good for America.

It's kind of like being sick to your stomach. I hate to throw up and will do everything I can to avoid it, but I have to admit that when I'm done, I always feel a lot better. It's time for the country to bow to the porcelain throne and clean out the system.

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Doesn't it look lovely outside?

Cloudy, almost sultry if you will.

What's it gonna be today? 65º? 70 perhaps? Will this wonderful day crest the 80º-mark?

Too right it will. It's predicted to be 97º today. It was 99 yesterday.

We're sure we're not the only ones who've had enough of these temperatures.

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Today's top Twitter tweet comes from zomben:

@wilw someone once said that "the greatest thing about Bakersfield, is that it's not Fresno."

Twitter is free, fun and mildly addictive. Sign up for your account here. Unfortunately we're not getting any money for recommending this service!

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Bakersfield is such a welcoming city. That's something you always hear, regardless of its other shortcomings.

But who knew the Greyhound bus station was such a hotbed of philanthropy?

While a modern-day Dean Moriarty waits to board a bus out of town, a skateboarding stranger offers him a mystery substance.

It keeps him up for three days. He names it Bakersfield mystery powder.

His travelogue is here.

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TruxtunAvenue.com labels itself as "fresh voices in Bakersfield news."

There's no fresher voice than Inga Barks.

Here she tells Truxtun Ave what she really thinks of that whole Scott Cox-Chad Vegas episode.

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Three years ago a study was done to find the most liberal and conservative cities in the U.S.

The study was undertaken by the nonpartisan Bay Area Center for Voting Research (BACVR).

Bako claimed the 8th spot on the most conservative list and the 230th (out of 237!) spot on the most liberal list.

We salute Chad Vegas and the woman in the photo for making us what we are today.

Planning a vacation where you can enjoy life without the trappings of liberal sin? Here are the 5 most conservative cities:

1 Provo Utah
2 Lubbock Texas
3 Abilene Texas
4 Hialeah Florida
5 Plano Texas

Controls have been tightened and standards improved since those halcyon days when anyone could be auctioned off for charity as a Bakersfield bachelor.

Back then plain ol' newspaper-types were deemed worthy enough, but when they failed to raise enough to pay for the steak dinner, organizers were forced to narrow their search and include only the most desirable eligible males in town.

Fast forward to 2008 and tonight's Boots and Bachelor Auction at the Crystal Palace. The list of bachelors who will be auctioned off to raise money for the Bakersfield Homeless Center features an impressive cast (although why they're single is anyone's guess).

A former NBA player and an actor are among the bachelors.

Who else should be on the list?

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Never turn your back on the mechanical bull. It's a vindictive beast.

We now send it over to those wags at KGET17.

Video here. Scroll through the weather. You don't see weathergirl Alissa Carlson on the bouncy bovine.

Adorable farm animals, sticky, sweet edible treats, kids play areas and thrilling exhibits (OK, we agree about the exhibits) were apparently not enough for this little boy.

Back to the Game Boy we thinks.

(The linked blog has since been made private, so there's no point clicking on it)

Yesterday a bear mosied on it to Murray Family Farms and hung out for a while.

KGET17 has some footage of the bear here.

Fish and Game were called to deal with the bear, but a woman at the farm just told me that apparently it was too dark when they arrived and although a trap was left out overnight, this morning the bear had left of his own accord and gone "back to the mountains."

Probably with a nice, full belly.

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Moe the missing chimp probably hasn't survived in the wild, says a chimpanzee expert.

All those salty chips, PB&Js and birthday cakes Moe scarfed down during his time in captivity won't have helped him nurture his survival instincts, expert Lauren Arenson told the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin.

But it's not all doom and gloom for the hairy fellow who is considered to be somewhere in the San Bernardino National Forest.

He might be "aloof," translated as hiding in the top of a tree, the expert said.

Moe has been gone for 3 months. The search continues.

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Some of us completely missed the news that Gavin Rossdale is coming to the Fox on Saturday.

The former Bush frontman (the band, not the president), is appearing as part of radio station KLLY's "World Famous Kelly Lounge."

The only downside is, you must listen to KLLY 95.3 in order to win tickets.

Just how much Rihanna, Jordan Sparks and Miley Cyrus you have to listen to before your chance arrives is anybody's guess.

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The weather report just isn't the same since Lloyd Lindsay Young left KERO.

Not that there's anything wrong with Melissa Vreeman (who loves all animals, but is particularly fond of cats) or Victoria Houchin (who lists the Padre Hotel as one of her favorite restaurants), but dang it, LLY was just plain fun.

When news broke of Lloyd's last day, we checked his wikipedia page and discovered he used a dildo as a pointer during a weathercast.

So imagine out consternation today when another search of wikipedia found the noteworthy phallic fact had been removed.

Who will act up to this scurrilous instance of thievery and return said dildo to its rightful place?

If local TV channel KERO23 ruled the world there would be no war.

After finding out about a Confederate flag in east Bako, 23 went to the property and demanded answers.

The flag was subsequently taken down and peace was restored.

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Never ones to let a marketing opportunity pass them by, our very own Bakersfield Condors have invited potential vice-president Sarah Palin to be Honorary Vice President and Team Mom of Condorstown.

More puck bunnies?

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(WARNING: BAD/EXTREMELY EXCITABLE LANGUAGE)

Caught on video. Perhaps the most entertaining 15 minutes you'll ever have.

"It's coming back towards us."

"Come down and take us."

Please do.

Ignore the suspicious coughing.

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This place had better open soon.

Halloween is just around the corner!

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The Titled Kilt is so scary nowadays that law-abiding citizens who just want a quiet sandwich are too terrified to eat at Heidi's Brooklyn Deli next door.

Or so this local TV report says.

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Each week our photo bosses choose their favorite local photos of the week for our audio slideshow.

Check out the latest Week in Pictures and get a brief explanation of our picks.

It wasn't long before the Tilted Kilt discovered that drunk men and scantily clad women aren't always the best mix.

Saturday night's stabbing is a sad reminder that even the best intended businesses are subject to the idiocy of the clientele that frequents them.

Here's the latest reviews of the Kilt on our Inside Guide. Remember the good old days when the only thing to complain about was the price of a Guinness, or the sentiments of the 'boob man'?

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First the Tardis and now this.

This is how the corner of Bakersfield's 19th and Eye looked in the Victorian era.

Can't wait for the fog to roll into town and the lamp's soft light to cast an eerie glow over the motley legion of revelers exiting the Syndicate at closing time.

Very Jack the Ripper-esque.

If the secret to getting fit and losing weight is keeping a detailed log of your activities, this local man should have no problems.

Check out Douglas Paul Wade's blog here.

Check out this kid busting his moves at the Kern County Fair! Anna Bowen sent in the link to this video of her son Jackson dancing for KERO Channel 23.

And here's a family blog about a visit to the fair and a first visit to a photo booth.

And ... people are steadily texting in their cell phone photos from the fair. Send yours to mobile@bakersfield.com and we'll post them to our Go Mobile blog.

How are you liking the Kern County Fair this year?

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Southwest Voice contributor Superha (a former television reporter) (and she's on RaisingBakersfield.com too!) literally worked her way into joining The Bangles at the band's Kern County Fair performance Wednesday night.

The Super-Fan — wearing a custom made Bangle! On T-shirt — jumped behind the merchandise table to help Susanna Hoff's nephew sell shirts and CDs after the show. Then, after helping him cart boxes backstage, she got to meet the rocker ladies in person and pose for photos.

Here's a link to her Wordpress post (under the name Lois Lane) for the full story and tons of photos. Viewing tip: Stretch your Web browser across your entire screen to see the full photos.

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Local photographer and train enthusiast Jacob Klatt offers some insight into what drives a rail fan in this Wall Street Journal article about the deadly MetroLink accident. It seems one of these obsessed fans could have added to the cause of the accident by text messaging the conductor shortly before the conductor missed a signal and crashed into a freight train.

Jacob is a student at Bakersfield College and has his own Web site full of train photos. He told the WSJ that he "fears the MetroLink accident is going to cause problems for train hobbyists" who sometimes even talk their way into the cabs of trains. Jacob's own father is a conductor and he says he'd like to be one someday too.

Incidentally, Jacob is shooting photos for Bakersfield.com's high school football Snap! Galleries this season. You can see his photos from last week's Golden Valley game here. He's apparently covering the East vs. West game tonight.

Good luck, Jacob, and please stay on the safe side of the tracks!

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Jackie E. has posted a blog about decorating her parents' new Bakersfield home. Seems she's into interior design. But what's MORE interesting is she's a five-time Olympic competitor in the long jump! According to ESPN, it looks like she placed 99th this year in Beijing. Wikipedia shows she placed 7th in Sydney in 2000.

Jackie, you can jump up to Bakersfield anytime. We're glad to have you!

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And we quote:

Its a city with so many places to go to for fun that if you are dating in Bakersfield there will be a place to go for each day and something to do. You can go to swim because it has an almost perfect weather or you can go to see the wild life in their parks.

It gets better (or worse).

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Caught on video: Two Californian staffers stuff as much fair food in their pieholes as humanly possible.

Everything you need to know about the fair, including the food!

Greasy fingers can still hold cell phones as these photos prove.

And lastly, a discussion about the judges at the fair.

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Working ticket sales for the Blaze.

We could probably get this done on our morning coffee break.

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Today, meteorologist Miles Muzio from KBAK Channel 29 posted his prediction for "No More 100" days on his blog at BakersfieldNow.com. He cites a trend of "trofiness" (I can't find a definition of this word) and medium- and long-range computer models. He also says his "No More 100" forecasts have never been wrong since he started them in 1990.

Now, summer is nearly over. The first day of fall is on Monday, Sept. 22. However, we all know that the Kern County Fair brings with it a final hurrah — a last blast of heat as if we were sticking our faces in the Twinkie deep fryer.

And, true fall weather likes to wait around here until the end of Daylight Saving Time and the eve of Halloween.

So do you believe Muzio's forecast? Are we over the 100-degree hump? Or is it wishful thinking?

— Jennifer Baldwin

This blogger on Chow.com is taking a road trip from Palm Desert to Stockton and wants to know where to eat in Bakersfield.

"Phoenikia" mentions the Cuban place (Sabor Cubano) and our Basque selections. What would be the one place to recommend to an out-of-towner?

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His wikipedia page says he was fired, but whacky local weatherman Lloyd Lindsay Young says that's not true.

It's just that Tuesday was his last day.

Regardless, Lloyd has left the KERO building and taken his dildo pointer with him.

GOOOOOOOOOOD BYEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLOOOOOOOYYYYYYDDDDDDD!

Here's a story we wrote about Lloyd a couple of years ago.

It sprinkled very lightly in Bakersfield this afternoon.

It was enough to get the locals all a-twitter.

Not once. Not twice. But three times!

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Some friends visit Bakersfield to pick up a '59 Belvedere.

While hitting the bars downtown they notice a homeland security bus.

They then wonder if Bako is a terror target. We detect a note of sarcasm. The blog post is from Fresno. Fresno is bigger and thus waaaaay cooler than Bako so we let the sarcasm slide.

Blog post here.

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Look, we realize Bakersfield ain't exactly top on the list of California tourist destinations, but at least there must be three things worth seeing if you've never been here before.

Not according to this travel web site, which is so desperate to give you a top 3 things to do list, it recommends a visit to Camping World!

Camping World?

Can someone please come up with an alternative?

With the finance industry seemingly collapsing around us, maybe it's time to go home-grown. Back to basics. Cash under the mattress. Coins in mason jars. C-notes in the toes of our fancy shoes (since we're too poor to go out anyway).

But, seriously, if you're a small business owner, how can you protect yourself? What are others doing? Here's a new way to connect with others, since we're all in the same boat here:

BakersfieldBusinessConnection.ning.com

And as The Californian tries to reach out to local businesses in more ways, here are some more sites to check out:

KernBusinessOnline.com

Money Talks blog

Bakersfield.com/business

Good luck out there.

Never mind the clouds, we'll have what he's having!

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Despite his work as a high school trustee who never let his beliefs get in the way of improving local high schools and coupled with his rugged, bad-boy looks, Chad Vegas still can't get a break on our hottest local politician poll.

He's currently in last place, though 'hot' on the heels of Dean Florez. No word on whether Florez will be holding a press conference to dispute the results.

The latest poll results are here.

The whole thing began on our Politics Anyone blog. Rabid commentators are wildly discussing our five picks and general consensus is that city councilman Zack Scrivner should replace Mr. Vegas. Unfortunately, candidates must be (or look) over 18 to qualify for the poll.

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Kevin Charette has got nothing on this inked-up patriot.

Melanie Mancera mixed her mother's dead ashes into the black ink for portions of the 9/11-themed tattoo.

Our assistant photo editor Michael Fagans produced a great video on this local woman.

After her recent show at Buck's place, country star Martina McBride decided to let her hair down at one of Bakersfield's finest nightspots.

Camelot.

To be fair, this video isn't just about Camelot, there's also some good footage of McBride's team setting up for the concert and clips of her performance. If you're a big fan of Martina or really lame arcade venues you might enjoy this video.

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We wrote a short story on this guy who was hit by a suspected drunken driver recently while riding his bike downtown.

On a trip to Dagny's coffee shop this morning we discovered a tip jar for Miguel Berger to help pay for his mounting medical bills.

What was quite admirable in the original story was Berger's attitude. Rather than rail on the idiot who hit him, or bemoan his situation, Berger issued a call for motorists to pay more attention to cyclists.

On yesterday's coffee run we stumbled across the Tardis.

There's hardly any events around town to commemorate the Sept. 11 bombings, 7 years ago today, but that doesn't mean the memories of that fateful day are fading.

I was asleep (worked nights, designing news pages) when my roommate woke me up and said "you've got to see this." I watched as the tower burned and smoldered and then the next plane hit.

A few minutes later, the phone rang and it was my boss at the paper. We were putting out a special edition to hit the streets by noon and I had to come in right away. My car was in the shop, so I hopped on my bike for the short ride to work. I remember quite clearly looking up in the sky every few minutes as I pedaled furiously to work. I was half expecting to see more planes. I don't really know what I expected to see, but I was afraid it would come from above.

The scene at the paper was frantic, but purposeful. It sounds horrible to say now, but it was probably the most exciting day I've had in my 9 years here. It was amazing to be in a newsroom charged with getting the latest, most reliable news out there. The special edition was only a few minutes late and then we started working on the next day's paper.

I worked from about 8 in the morning until after midnight. Hardly Herculean, but it was nonstop and there wasn't a moment to reflect on the enormity of the headlines we were writing or the photos we were putting on the pages.

It was only much later in the backyard with the dogs that I lit a solitary candle and mumbled something resembling a prayer.

— Andrew Mockett

For a far better recollection of the day's events, check out Cathie Ong-Herrera's piece in our Opinion section. Cathie, a Bakersfield resident, lost her flight attendant sister Betty Ong in one of the doomed planes.

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Hot off the news that the new season of "Heroes" is coming to downtown Bako, it's been discovered that the new "Dr. Who" is hot on its heels.

How do we know this?

Because the Tardis has landed. The Daleks ain't far behind my friends and that's bad news for anyone who doesn't want to be exterminated.

At least that's what West High and the Kern High School District are telling Channel 17 after an "expert":

"studied the employee's facial features, her voice and mannerisms and compared them to the woman on the tape."

The tape had been posted online and watched by West High students who thought the female participant was a school employee. The tape says the woman works at the school.

More details (and clips) here.

Wonder how one goes about becoming an "expert"?

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From a spoiler site for the hit TV series "Heroes":

Hiro (Masi Oka) and Ando (James Kyson Lee) are together again, on a quest for the mysterious “Formula” (the significance of which will be explained in episode five). According to Lee, their mission takes them to Bora Bora, Zimbabwe and lovely downtown Bakersfield, Calif.

That explains the broken glass by the entrance to the Wall Street Alley.

A bold prediction from the marketing and promotions director.

From Tim Statezni's top 10 list of things he wished people would ask him:

Number 8…Why is Marty Raymond signing so many amazing players? Is that really fair to the other teams in the ECHL?… No, it is not fair. The way things are shaping up we will probably win every freakin game. 

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According to the early responses on entertainment reporter Shellie Branco's blog, apparently not.

Join the discussion on Branco Bytes.

One of our favorite things to do in the morning is read the Public Safety roundup in The Californian's Local section. Among the tragedy and heartache, there's always something mildly amusing.

Like the man who led police officers on a slow-speed chase.

Or the fact that during this pursuit when speeds reached a whopping 40 mph, a police car collided with a chain link fence. A stationary chain link fence we assume.

Police say is was likely a mechanical failure.

Janet Jackson's nipple shot was a wardrobe malfunction.

Bakersfield College currently has 18,000 enrolled students. According to a Channel 17 story, enrollment numbers haven't been this high since young men signed up for BC so they would avoid serving in the Vietnam War.

It's all about the economy, says the story.

We think it's all about the commercial. Picking up where GET bus and RV Peddler left off, BC's "Jump In" commercial has re-set the bar.

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Just found this story on abcnews.com who interviewed a Bakersfield minister to shed some light on the David Duchovny sex addiction story.

Paul Giesbrecht, pastor of Life Development and Outreach in Bakersfield, Calif., said that the Internet made getting porn easy and hiding his habit gave him a high.

Get the whole story here.

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Jerry's Pizza downtown is known more for its long lines of grungy looking teenagers than it's lunchtime pizza by the slice, so imagine our consternation when we got wind that Jerry's wouldn't be hosting live music anymore.

The concert venue death knoll was posted on the Numbskull Productions site.

But Jerry himself is having none of it.

Reporter Louis Medina found this out this morning:

Jerry Baranowski, owner of Jerry’s Pizza, has just confirmed to me over the phone that the blog post is totally inaccurate.

Jerry’s Pizza is simply finishing up its relationship with promoter Green Media.
Jerry’s Pizza is currently carrying out some renovations in its basement, which will slow down the pace of live shows that it can present for the next 2-3 weeks. But after that work is done, things should go back to their normal pace as far as live shows are concerned.
It is possible that Jerry's, while it is considering finding another promoter, might nonetheless go back to booking its shows on its own as it used to do in years past. This has not been completely decided yet.

Chester Avenue would not have been the same without the sneering, spikey-haired youngsters who congregate outside the venue on the weekend.

And as an amateur reviewer wrote on our Inside Guide section, "every town needs a place like Jerry's Pizza."

The final word goes to Numbskull, who may have got a key piece of the blog post wrong, but whose description of the venue is still oddly alluring:

Plagued with unpleasing aesthetics, deafening acoustics, hades-like temperatures, demented management, zero amenities and cockroaches the size of rodents, Jerry’s Pizza still was the pillar of rock and roll for the Central Valley.

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Bakersfield has been the butt of many jokes, but now it's official:

The greatest joke has nothing to do with Bakersfield.

More than 2 million voted on the world's greatest joke and here it is:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

More details here.

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Are you the winning lottery ticket holder?

You've got 171 days left to claim your prize.

Guess it wasn't this joker.

Who is it and why are they hiding?

Our city tries to do the right thing.

They give us some water in the river over the long weekend so our canine companions can splash around.

Then someone jumped into the Kern River off the Chester Avenue bridge.

And died.

And our dogs lowered their eyes.

Here's the proof.

Who is Chris McCandless?

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Nowadays it seems like everyone and everything has a blog.

Our Comics Page is even getting in on the act, and it's first post asks for advice on coping with its shrinkage problems.

Stroke its ego, will ya? And while you're there, offer your opinions on which comic strips should stay and which should go.

Because if Get Fuzzy gets the chop, you'll only have yourselves to blame.

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The Los Angeles Times published a great story on the problem of feeding bears, focusing on Pine Mountain Club up by Frazier Park.

Here's a quick breakdown:

Couple tosses trash/leftovers for wild animals to feed on.

Bears won't go away.

Couple uses nail-studded planks, electrified fences and paintball guns to keep bears away.

Bears end up getting shot.

Couple "self-described animal lovers."

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A group of our sophisticated southern neighbors have deemed Bakersfield worthy of a trip, but they're only coming to pillage our best food and clog up our favorite restaurants.

How can we, Kern's hoi polloi, ingratiate ourselves to such esteemed visitors?

Why, by recommending the hands-down worst eateries in town of course!

Because Luigi's is packed enough on Saturdays.

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We've taken Amtrak to Stockton and back and shared the train with some scary-looking dudes, so imagine our surprise reading The Californian this morning and seeing this quote:

"On the train, I can read my book. And there's lots of interesting people to talk to. People on the train are friendly."

If by interesting, you mean learning how to fashion a shank out of a paper clip and an empty toilet paper tube, or if by friendly, you mean being regaled with tales of riots in the 'yard,' we know what you're talking about.

Isn't Charles Manson in Corcoran?

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Before the usual DJ drudgery and MOR furniture commercials start peppering its broadcasts, get uninterrupted music from the new 96.5 Max FM.

Our entertainment reporter Shellie blogged on the bizarre countdown to the new station on her Branco Bytes blog, but the station's latest gimmick is far more pleasurable for its listeners.

10,000 songs with no commercials. That's about 500 hours.

500 hours without the GET bus jingle.

According to a press release the classic hits station is aimed toward listeners 35 and up. Oh no, that's the prime demographic for buying furniture. FOR ONE WEEKEND ONLY, PAY NO SALES TAX ...

Somewhere, Robb Willis is shaking his head.

Who can forget those enlightened lawmakers and restaurant owners who protested French opposition to an invasion of Iraq by renaming french fries to freedom fries?

Such a level-headed reaction to a time of great consternation.

We thought all the freedom fries in America were relegated to an embarrassing period in our past, so imagine our glee upon finding them alive, fried and well in a newish Bakersfield restaurant — and a Mexican one at that!

Camino Real on Truxtun still hates the French!

But the food's pretty good and they serve a 35-ounce beer for $8.50 and it's an import to boot. Take note Tilted Kilt.

Our food critic was sorta impressed too.