Have you ever tried to deceive yourself into thinking something was true when you knew it was not?  Have you ever tried to comfort yourself with words that, while true, may have been totally inadequate in addressing what you were feeling at the moment?  Have you ever turned your back on your true feelings? 

This song is a song I wrote back in the early nineties when a young woman I thought I was in love with at the time wasn't sharing the same feelings I had for her.  What I told myself in response, while possibly true on some deep, philosophical level, didn't even come close to addressing my true feelings at the time. 

I ended up meeting someone that shared the same feelings, and that woman is now my wife of over 10 years.   The other day I was reflecting on my earlier experiences with women, some of the games I used to get caught up in with women that were afraid of intimacy, and some of the things I would tell myself after being rejected by women who only wanted to play around with my heart like it were a toy.  So I dug up the song from my memory bank and recorded the song, so I could share it with those who may be in the process of mastering the art of self-deception.  It's the one art form, that, no matter how skilled you get, you end up feeling worse after each masterpiece is produced.  

There is no perfect person out there, but, thank God I finally found a more receptive, more emotionally available, more mature woman to share my life with.  When you're in love with somebody, it sure is nice when that person loves you back!


What I Tell Myself
Dr BLT

it's not the lover that you're after
it's just the lovin' that you need
it's not the passion of her kisses
it's just kisses
every day
throughout the week

that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell  myself
every time I try to speak
that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell myself
so I won't have to
cry myself to sleep

it's not the way she gently touches
it's just the touchin' that you need
it's not the way she gets you laughin'
it's just laughin' every day
throughout the week


that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell  myself
every time I try to speak
that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell myself
so I won't have to
cry myself to sleep

it's not the way
her tender body
lights the night
it's just the tenderness
and love that make it right
it's not the way she breathes
or special things she says
when she's lyin' in your bed

that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell  myself
every time I try to speak
that's what I tell myself
that's what I tell myself
so I won't have to
cry myself to sleep