Editorial Page Editor Dianne Hardisty  writes about reader response to concerns in the Kern River Valley that Caltrans signs warning visitors not to swim in the Kern River are intimidating and discourage tourism.

Sunday Column July 1, 2007

A friend breathlessly pointed out in a telephone call last week: “It’s like the movie ‘Jaws.’”

OK, I responded cautiously, not having the guts to tell him that I had never seen the 1970s box-office-busting thriller. It was just too scary.

I love action movies. I’m a “Die Hard” fan. I even sing the praise of the flop “Con Air.” But I can’t sit through Freddy Krueger, chainsaw stuff and man-eating sharks. There, I said it — I’m a chicken.

So, I let my friend carry on thinking that I understood the point he was making.

And that point was that the whining merchants and tourism boosters in the Kern River Valley were just like the characters in “Jaws.”

For those, like me, who didn’t see the 1975 classic movie, “Jaws” was a film about a great white shark that terrorized the resort town of Amity. The local police chief wanted to close the beaches, but the mayor would not allow it because of the potential harm to the town’s tourism during the lucrative Fourth of July weekend. After several shark attacks, the mayor relents and agrees to hire an old, crusty fisherman to take to the high seas to hunt for the shark.

To my friend, the objections of Kern River Valley merchants and tourism boosters to the Caltrans’ signs that warn swimmers to stay clear of the treacherous Kern River are similar to the placing-dollars-before-safety reaction of the Amity mayor to the presence of a deadly shark in his seashore resort.

On behalf of their business-oriented constituents in the Kern River Valley, Assemblywoman Jean Fuller and Kern County Supervisor Jon McQuiston have come out swinging at state Sen. Dean Florez for convincing the state Department of Transportation (Caltrans) to use its electronic warning signs at the mouth of the canyon and other locations to urge visitors to stay out of the river. The raging waters and undercurrents can be fatal to unsuspecting and unprepared swimmers.

Since county officials began counting the bodies in the 1960s, at least 250 people have died in the raging waters of the Kern River. A sign posted at the mouth of the canyon tallies the losses as each body sinks below the surface.

For a decade, Californian letter writer Curt Dalton has hammered  on Caltrans to use its electronic signs to warn visitors about the dangers. The Californian joined in the effort with its editorials.

Sen. Florez finally convinced the governor’s office and Caltrans to get with the program. Beginning with the Memorial Day weekend, the signs began flashing in English and Spanish the warning:


But Fuller, McQuiston and some in the Kern River Valley now claim the signs are intimidating and may discourage tourism. Like the mayor in Amity, they expressed more concern for tourism dollars than tourism safety.

In an editorial last week, The Californian asked readers to suggest “politically correct,” chamber-of-commerce-pleasing wording. While a few of the suggestions were obscene, the following are some from letter writers and bloggers that can be printed:

“If you’re going to drown, buy stuff first.”

“Stupid? Drunk? Don’t swim.”

“Jump in, swim, shop.”

“Wet shopper specials.”

 “I fought the Kern and the Kern won.”

“Over 18? No river rescue.”

 “This is almost like a haiku contest, or some sort of twisted Zen poetry competition,” one blogger noted. “How do you say, ‘Don’t drown,” and make it sound happy (if not downright capitalistic) and do it all in three lines of no more than eight letters?”

And another asked, “Why shouldn’t we intimidate the nitwits that want to go into the Kern? If they are dumb enough to ignore the warnings, what else can we do?”

Letter writer David Harmon suggested: “Instead of trying to come up with a catchy, politically correct saying to deter people from committing suicide at the public’s expense, just turn off the water during holidays.”

Readers likely haven’t helped Kern River Valley merchants and Caltrans officials come up with “acceptable” wording for a non-threatening warning sign that will not intimidate visitors.

Perhaps like the mayor of Amity, as the Fourth of July holiday approaches, they will just have to recognize a danger exists and tell visitors the truth: They could die if they jump into the raging Kern River.