I don't know what is. Maybe there was something missing in my childhood that made me act this way. I have a case of passive aggressive behavior. I didn't know until I discovered what passive aggression was, but I do know that I'm far from being alone. It seems many people who don't naturally have passive aggressive behavior still act passive aggressive in a setting where they want to calmly get their way without making a scene.

Ah, yes. The workplace.

It wasn't until after I graduated from a 4 year university that I discovered that people in the office acted like me, on my worst day. I began to understand how annoying I must be to others, and lately I've been able to control it a bit more.

For those of you who don't know what passive aggression is. Well, here's a professional definition from Wikipedia (tehe...)

Passive–aggressive behavior is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations.

It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious.

For example, a worker, when asked to organize a meeting, might seemingly happily agree to do so, but will then take so long on each task in the process - offering excuses such as calls not being returned, or that the computer is too slow, or that things are not ready when the meeting is due to start - that a colleague is forced to hurriedly complete the task, lest the meeting be postponed.

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Ha, a typo in the article. How I love web 2.0. DEMOCRACY!

Signs of Passive Aggressive Behavior, and examples/tips written by me:

1. Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in others.

Ok so you're not sure about how to make a decision. You stay somewhere in the middle of yes or no, right or left, this or that so that the person you're expressing your thoughts to doesn't judge you in case it's not the choice they had. You flirt with each side as to attempt to gage your listener. For some reason, being sort of right sounds better than "wrong". Well, wrong. Stop being unsure about stuff. It makes you look weak. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, being passive aggressive makes you seem weak. Subconsciously or not. People will never take you seriously and not trust you to accomplish a taste. They'll start acting like "Ugh... I don't want to ask him/her. Don't feel unsure about what you think. At the very least, you can say "I haven't made my decision yet." But just don't say that when you were already have supposed to. That means you slacked off. Which brings us to our next sign:

2. Chronically being late and forgetting things: another way to exert control.

Have you ever used any of these: "Traffic was crazy" "Oh man I totally forgot" "What happened was..."

If so please grow up. You may think you're smart and able to fool others because you've gotten away from it before, but just remember... The person you said it to was most likely on time and didn't take much of a different path that you to get there. Unless you were at the same party as them last night, you're lying, and lying is BAD. Sometimes people just like you to be honest. You accidentally slept it! But you can't use that all of the time. The obvious thing to do here is get up earlier than expected. Wake yourself up somehow. People know when you're always late. It bothers them more than you think. If you think life is meaningless to be on time to, then life will eventually agree with you and kick you out of it (meaning you're fired, you have no life).

3. Fear of competition

Everything you do in life is a competition. If you stop and start feeling nervous or scared, you should try to get some professional help. Psychiatrist, something. If you can't afford one, you're just going to have to keep reminding yourself what you have and what you intend to keep. You don't have to go above the norm, maybe you want to keep steady. Once you get to a point you like in life, keep it. Don't stress yourself about moving up or over exerting yourself if you don't have to. Then, you'll never have to fear competition again, you won!

4. Fear of dependency

Try living by yourself for a while. Even if it's in a hotel room. For a week. Then try a month. Then, if it doesn't affect your current living situation or spouse, try thinking about having your own place, with a room mate that you are only acquainted with. I know it can be weird living with someone you don't know too well, but at least in my time I noticed more friends breaking up from living with each other. Sometimes living with someone you don't know so well creates natural boundaries. You'll be able to practice having your own space, that you can become independent.

5. Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: The passive aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.

This is a very sad one. All I can say is if you're able to cope with the other 9, give this one all your might in fixing. I can only think of cliches for this one. Find someone you can trust.

6. Making chaotic situations

Ok so maybe you feel like if you tell someone an irrational decision you have deep inside. You shouldn't. They will always remember, and not just for the decision, but for the way you delivered it. They'll think of how nervous you were making it. What will happen shortly after you change your mind (you will change your mind) and you'll be seen as someone who is generally confused and troubled. If you have to talk to someone about a feeling you have deep down, make sure it's someone you love and someone who is willing to open to you in the same way.

7. Making excuses for non-performance in work teams

(This is one I think I got rid of for good. It helps to have been in a relationship because girlfriends don't take excuses)

This one is just lame. Just fess up. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Do I need to sound like a self-help infomercial? Just stop it. This is the easiest sign to overcome. It's a sign you realize immediately after you notice it. You know when you lie. Give whoever credit for performing better than you and tell them you'll be much better next time. Mean it.

8. Obstructionism

This one is annoying. I'll admit I've notice myself doing this when I argue with people. It wasn't until I noticed someone doing it to me that I can form my own argument without going off on a tangent. Think you're all that? You think you know all of the answers? You don't. And don't use god for an answer, that just counts as using excuses, or an easy way out. Hm, I almost implied that religious people are passive aggressive. Well, no, religion is a whole separate category... Filled with separate disillusions... Anyway, it's really dangerous when someone who is popular (politician, celebrity, etc) uses this, because people will believe anything said from a person they trust. If you constantly do this, just know you'll never be able to venture on debates with the lowest common denominator.

9. Sulking

Always looking upset so people can come to you and say "What's wrong?" Weak.

10. Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.

Hint: Next time you do this, video record yourself doing this. When finished, upload clip on computer. Use video editing software to include climactic supervillian background story music in the background, like the music you hear when The Green Goblin lost his shares for his own company, or when Joker explains he "got these scars". You'll actually be scared of yourself!

So there you have it. Wow, I feel like David Letterman, like I'm making fun of the South Carolina Governor. Oh well. The first step is knowing your problems. Know of course, that just because you think you may have one of these traits, doesn't mean you have all of them.

NYN out.