In what is undoubtedly some bias of mine,the M.Shrider piece struck me as somewhat judgmental..in a very unspoken way. Opinion~ best defined by this quote  " Truth filtered through the moods,the blood, the disposition of the spectator" Wendell Phillips

  The profile was inspiring,clearly a courageous woman/mother.Blessed with family and faith. I in no way mean to denigrate her,or sully her path of healing.

 But after speaking with many other survivors,reading many books :I know one thing to be true.There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Loss is not "one size fits all"There are commonalities but no "look" of a person who has lost loved ones.Fittingly each death is unique as the individuals life was.

After years of struggle with my eldest, I did "tough love". In the year we did not speak he faced, overcame his demons.So,when Death came for him~his hands and knees black from the asphalt he crawled upon seeking help~ he was sober and able to feel the agony of heart failure clearly....that sometimes haunts me. Always there are questions, quilt,pain, and hope

 So I too choose~ to feel each moment, whatever it brings, be it unbelievable pain or unsurpassed joy.

 P.S. Did the Christmas decorating for the first time,many tears mant happy memories,whishing there was someone to carry on after it is my time. Yet that is the beauty of life~it is fleeting