My wife quit working outside the home 4 years ago. She didn't love her job, but she didn't hate it. She and I decided she needed to be a mom first. The care and nurturing of our two boys is the most important thing to us and having a mom available all the time seemed like a no-brainer. We took a hit to our income, but our family is far better off for doing it.

Starting a business, you may find out you are even more busy than you are now.

Try it.For myself,at least,I do not want a huge list of "I wish I had" laying about. I had a "good job" that I left, for much the same reasons you list(kids) to start my own business. It was scary leaving behind "my paycheck" but I never regretted the choice. Timec~ I do not know you~ but I sense a survivor in you,someone who could pull off just what you desire. Go for it!

This is a really bad time to be leaving a job.  Unless you have something lined up first, I'd tough it out.  Much of your stress is self-imposed--you don't *HAVE* to be perfect, just better than average. 

If you do decide to quit, you might try this:  re-apply for your old job and tell them you want 25 percent more than you're getting now.  You'd be likely the best candidate.  (This is if others are getting more for the same or comparable work.)  If you're leaving anyway, give it a try.

Timec, I know you and I disagree about a lot of things but on this one I have to agree about your children.  They only have one childhood and you don't get to go back and redo it or recapture the moments.  Can you do something like work for a school where your hours coincide with the kids school time?

My grandkids have a new baby and both are teachers.  Both will continue to work.   I'd love to see one of them stay home the first year anyway even if it means tightening the belt ...a lot.  I know this sounds a little cold but I wonder why people decide to have children if someone else is going to raise them.  Makes no sense to me.   So much is missed.

Bear in mind, I'm talking about when it's financially feasable.  I know a lot of moms or even single dads have no choice but when there IS  a choice...be with the kids.

My husband has a good job. Our house is paid for, my husband can handle our household bills....only thing that I will miss dearly is out of control shopping....

I need to be a mom before I am anything else. 

beyond the financial choices one has to make

I still have yet to see a tombstone read :

BELOVED EMPLOYEE AND GREAT WORKER

Nancy,

I thought the job I have now was during school hours but after you get the job things always change. I need to stay late for this or that..I need to go early to meet so and so...that is how it works.

I have a daughter that has asthma. I work in Bakersfield but I don't live here. I call my day care provider for everything.....Can you take my daughter her inhaler, my daughter forgot her permission slip can you please take it to the school, my son missed the bus can you please drop him off at the school.....I should not have to call a person everyday for this...It is my job ..they are my children.

You do, what you need to do.

Good Luck either way.

Sometimes earning a little less  can give you much more. Although I really agree with Random's comment regarding lining up something before you vacate a current job, your situation sounds very different from most. In a lot of circumstances you can reach a level of diminishing returns  for your efforts. You may be there, and now need to find a different path.

Do not stay in a job you do not like. Period. You should be happy and family should come before employment. If you can do without the money, I say quit. However, I would suggest a part time job, 4 hours a day, just to get you out and make you feel like you are contributing something to the family (and small shopping sprees!). I would not start a new business, economy is too bad right now.

Enjoy life, enjoy your family. Then you'll be at peace with your decisions. I hope your husband supports you 100%.

After I got back from a recent business trip to Alaska a month ago my wife told me she wanted to quit her job in order to stay home and raise our son and start a small daycare for some of our friends children. As much as a second income is important for most households these days, I had to support her in her decision. I think someone once told me that you can either be a good business man, or a good parent but not both. And if you look really deep into that statement it is true. If you feel you are lacking on the parent side, and you can survive without the extra income, then go for it. In our situation I decided to start pursuing some free lance graphic design jobs in order to make up for some of the income. As far as starting a small store, remember that as easy as it sounds, that its self will become a full time job as well.

If you don't like your job then look for another. Or, if you can afford it, be a stay-at-home mom. Not knowing your particular circumstances, it's easy for me to make suggestions. Sitting and talking with your husband before you make a decision is the wise thing to do. (And count your lucky stars that you have a spouse to talk to. Single moms don't have that sounding board.) As to starting a business--I don't mean to discourage you, but think that one over very carefully. That can be a commitment more demanding than marriage.

I'm sure there are alot of us who would love to chuck the rut and try something else. Let us know how it goes, your experience may be helpful to others.

 My husband works. I tend house and kid. Love it that way! lol! Works great for all of us.

My kids come first.

I'd personally rather be poor with awesome kids :0)

Thank you guys so much....

I am going to print this out and show my hubbie. I know he will say do whatever makes you happy. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing before I take such a big step. I can always find another job....I will not be able to rewind my life if my children turn out to be thugs because mama was not home.

The thought of not being able to shop with my mom every weekend scares me.....oh well....can't have it both ways. Macy's will miss me dearly.......My husband and I joke about when we were flat broke we were happier because we had less stress and way less bills......those were the good ole days...The more you make the more you spend....

Cable Internet is pretty pricey...does this mean I will have to go back to dial up.......oh no what have I done...lol

Thank you guys so much...

thanks bako ......I hope he supports me as well.

Tchud....lol

I would rather be poor with awesome kids too....thanks

I will wait on the business idea ....I have been selling name brand jeans on eBay your about 3 years...I will continue the eBay thing for spending money and I will stay at home and be a full-time mom..... I am going to actually drive my son to baseball games instead of meeting him there....I am so excited.

Timec..cheer up.  There's alway the 99 Cent Store where you can get your "fix" and not spend much money.  Oh, and the Goodwill out on Granite Falls and Coffee is really nice.  LOL.

timec, have you consulted your brothers on what it's like to be unemployed?

I remember how exciting it was when we decided my wife would stay at home. The kids benefited, but so did the whole family. My wife feels greater rewards than she did at work. The house and its affairs are in much better shape. And the kids, even the older one, loved the idea of mommy being at home. It really builds greater bonds.

Not to diminish the roles of working mothers. My mother was one. It's just most working mothers I know would rather be with their children. They just can't afford it.

I think you will be very happy with your decision Timec~ added benefit: you can dog OB all day long!  ;-)   Seriously~your kids are the most important thing here.Time spent with them and on them is time you will never regret! 

TIMEC:  I agree with all who have recommended "stay home". I quit a job I detested after 12 years with the company. Have never regretted it nor looked back! You have kids who need you now, and will be much more appreciative (probably later!!!) that you were there to drive them to ball practice/games. You can also spend time participating in your child classroom so you can actually see what's going on!  My daughter has 3 degrees and is a stay-at-home mom. She wouldn't have it any other way. 

A job will always be there, your kids will grow up and be gone on to their own lives. Life is not a video that we can re-wind and there are no do-overs.

ob

I have not discussed this with my brothers but they will tell me to keep working so I can continue to loan them money.......Hey did you know Deandre Thompson aka "Take OFF" or the loser that killed him....I guess I shouldn't say the name of the killer since the cops don't know yet....See you all just need to give them time..they will kill each other...there is no need to chase em...

Sage

OB will become my full-time project............Yippee! I can blog morning, noon, and night...oh wait I already do that...lol

Nancy

When I go to the 99 cent store I have a hard time finding the designer purses...does anyone know what isle they are on?...lol That is a nice Goodwill..I just can't stand looking through all of that stuff......but I do love deals.....

Timec ,, do your brothers (sorry) work at 3-Way ? Or any of the other non-brother businesses that will be laying off big time soon?  

"Hey did you know Deandre Thompson aka "Take OFF" or the loser that killed him....I guess I shouldn't say the name of the killer since the cops don't know yet...."

Okay you just won me over to your side a lil with that one TIMEC, lol   bout made me spit out my peanut M & M's when I read that lol

Good advice as usual.  If your company has a leave of absence program you might give it a try.  Our if they don't check others that do and see if they are open to something like that.  No bridges completely burned that way.  Working at a job you don't like maybe the one of the worse things in life, unhealthy also.

If you think about it, you rarely hear anyone say "I sure wish I hadn't spent so much time with my kids when they were growing up."

I spent as much time as possible with my sons and now I reap the rewards of that.  But if I could do it over, I 'd spend even more time with them.

Maggie

No my brothers are not working...but one of my brothers has started to look for a job...so something is better than nothing....lol

Whenever you feel the urge to shop, just ask yourself "what's more important, spending time with the kids or closets full of stuff?" That tends to put things in the proper perspective. In fact, if you find you need more money, just start digging through said closets and sell things.

timec - I am a single mom who has to work. Two years ago, I left a job that I loved and paid good benefits. Most days, my job required me to work up to 14 sometimes 16 hours per day. I chose to work out of my home so that I could be more available to my son who was entering high school. My son has always been a good kid but I did not want him to be a latch-key kid and not allow him to participate in afterschool activities. I have been in the Early Childhood Education field for 28 years so I opened a Licensed Family Child Care facility in my home. Granted I work at the minimum 10 ½ hours per day but I know that I am done at 5:30 every day and can volunteer and participate in all of his activities. My days are long but worth it. 

Our children grow so fast and they need us whether they are very young or teenagers. The time will come when we can work any job and any hours we want. As long as I can pay my bills and not need any assistance, I will sacrifice all extras to be there for my son.

Sorry....didn`t mean to be a busy body.....

Timec-good luck with your decision!! As far as good bye Macys, I say hello EBAY!! You can get great deals on the purses they sell.  Especially if you can spot a fake purse from a real one. 

Timec, I know it takes persreverance but daughter has sold some incredible things on ebay that she got at Thrift Sotres.  One was a Gucci scarf and several designer suspenders..yes..suspenders.  Whoulda thunk it.  She has the best luck with hospital guildes and such but hates Goodwill and Salvation Army because they're over priced for resale.   She and her fella travel with his work and the first thing she does is find the Thrifts. 

She only deals in vintage unless something really special comes along and she makes a tidy bit that way.   You're already set up for it with the jeans...hit the shops and yard sales gal.  Oh, and estates sales run by famililes.  If you go to one that's run by a broker you won't find resale deals unless you wait til the last day...and by then the good stuff is gone.

timec:  You have made the right decision to stay home with your children.  You might have to watch your nickles and dimes for awhile, but I am sure that you will be much more contented and happier. 

I would never advise anyone to stay in a job that they did not like.  I finally quit the county after being at KMC For 10 years.  I really hated working there and the last 2 years or so were unbearable, as my boss was going through a mid-lile crisis or some kind of personal trauma in her life and she was the boss from Hell.  She especially loved to torment me at every opportunity and I was almost ready to file a harrassement suit.  Well she must have heard about this and so she throws me a Good-By Party when I left.   She personally bought 2 cakes for the whole department, hmmm???  

But my message is never stay in a job that makes you miserable -- mainly for your mental and physical well-being.  It does terrible things to you when you keep working in this state of mind day after day.  I know and would never go through that again. 

But timec, I just hope you are very happy staying home and being a stay-home Mom.  Your kids will be so happy and I am sure you will see a change in them too.  You will never regret this. 

Good Luck.  

Thrift store searching and then selling on ebay sounds like a great opportunity for you to shop and resell! Go for it!!!

Timec you just need to win the lottery! Then even Old Blue will be your best friend. LOL

Okay, never mind, we all know the lottery is a tax on the mathematically challenged, but we can dream can't we?

well... timec.. I think you are the most ignorant person ever to blog.. you talk about what you dont know.. you made a comment about deondre? you dont know anything about him other than the news reported that he got shot. open your eyes because not everybody who gets shot is a bad person. that was one of my very close friends and i know first hand that he wasnt a bad person.. regardless of what you choose to think. and i am very offended by the comment you made. you are ignorant and disrespectful. i dont even blog on the web i think its a waste of time. But i just so happened to get on here today to check up on any leads because MY friend died. and this is what i have to look at? ignorant people who have no lives sitting around talking about somebody who lost their life. you need to re-evaluate your life.

Hey timec, I guess now both you and I piss people off. Welcome to my world! :)

You got on a blog to look for leads?  Who are you?  Detective Doolittle?

I hadn't thought of that Lana...good call.  ;-)

Looks like OB has some competiton huh?

Nancy, these days my only real competition is on the golf course. Everything else is just fun.

You mean you aren't on the blog to ferret out clues to help catch the bad guys?  Now I'm disappointed.  I guess Vikingprincess is on her own.

Sorry to burst your bubble Nancy. LOL.

But if I hear anything, I'll pass it on to the proper authorities.

 Timic, I have to say, that when you first started on the blog, I thought you were the Bitch from Hell.  Hell !, you even deleted me from your Friends list when you got so mad at me.

Now I have to say that you are, just the opposite, you're really Pretty cool and you really care about others.  If staying home with the kids makes you feel better, go for it.

One question, how old are your kids?  If they are in grammar school, it makes more since staying home, if they're in higher grades and able to do for themselves, then that's another story.

Bottom line is, you do what's best for your kids, even if it means trimming the fat, cutting corners.  With the price of gas now, you could spend time riding bikes with the kids and leaving the car at home a little.

What ever you do, GOOD LUCK

Murphy

Timec - how did everything turn out? What was your final decision? Regardless of age, I always had my mom over during the days to "help" the kids - really just a cover, but it was great having her here when they were in high school. Not only just someone to talk to, but someone to report to, a reason to be home on time or check in, and to bring friends over where there was adult supervision.