Time just did a poll that stated, supposedly, 90 percent of Americans are Christian. If that is the case, and the majority of marriages end in failure, it kind of makes you wonder. Maybe it's time they all climbed out of the gay and abortion trojan horses and seriously did some tending to the flock. I'm an aethiest. I will be married for 25 years this May. I do think alot of it has to do with reality. Once the honeymoon is over and you realize that this person farts and belches and is fatally flawed like all humans, and is not the perfect speciman you thought, can you deal with it?

I think it has more to do with our throwaway society than anything.  "Lets live together to try it out.  If that works, maybe we'll get married...and if that doesn't work out there's always divorce."

We don't keep jobs as long these days, we don't keep cars as long, why would we be expected to keep spouses forever?  When things don't suit us, we just get rid of them and try something new.  That's fine with TV's and sofas but maybe we should work a little harder at relationships.

That is a good point Nancy. By nature, I'm a keeper of everything. My car has 300,000 mile on it, the sofa is 22 years old etc. I'm not dazzled by the latest shiney new thing either, except for the Roomba (not the Scooba). The hubby is getting old and his long curly locks are greying on him which makes him look eerily like a cross between Jesus, Geraldo and Jerry Garcia, but what the Hell, I kept everyhthing else. I might as well keep him too.

Coochie...I drove my Plymouth Sundance for 11 years, just bought my first sofa in over 28 years and even at that, couldn't get rid of the old one.  It's in the garage along with it's buddy, the loveseat.  (and I hate the new one)  I have two blouses that are over twenty years old and a sweater my daughter had in high school 30 years ago and STILL get compliments on it when I wear it.  I'm a keeper of old things too..when I really like something, I don't get rid of it.  (I wonder what that says about my two ex'es.)  I lived in a townhouse for 9 years with a 9 month haitus in TN.  When I came back I moved back in the same apt  and put the furniture in the same place.  I finally moved into a house where I also lived for 9 years and only moved this time because the landlord evicted me to sell the house. (which he still hasn't..it's sitting vacant.)

I do the throwaway thing with clothing to some extent...I don't pay a lot for some and that way can have new ones more often.  Quality clothes are basics and stay with me forever as mentioned above.

Relationships continue to elude me.  I'm waiting til I get in the old folks home..that seems to be where people eventually get married.   ;-)  By then, it's too late to throw them away.

Mattloch,

I wasn't attempting to write about anything. I asked a couple of questions. So far, everyone but YOU have been doing their best to give me their best answers and I appreciate their input. With enough of this good input, maybe I'll come to understand what's going on.

YOU, on the other hand, are the only one who can't seem to play along. This isn't, and WILL NOT become a blog for debate. I've asked a couple of short, but difficult questions, looking for input. I;m not going to allow you to pervert this blog into an argument to push your own agenda.

Answer the questions or don't post on my blog.................It's that simple. 

Thanks everybody, for the well-thought responses to my questions. I really appreciate it.

My Wife and I have been married for 21 years and I can't imagine living without her. We were married for 6 years before deciding to have kids. We felt like we needed to prepare for parenthood, emotionally professionally and financially.

Raising kids in this day and time is hard enough when they have two Parents at home.

Sometimes one Parent dies, and that's a bad thing. This is a situation where there is no choice in the matter. I can't understand why someone would elect to have and raise kids as a single Parent. In this case, it's a choice that makes life harder times 10...

Steve, as you put it, we're both squarely in each-other's corner. We've been through a lot of "STUFF" in life, and we always slugged it out as a team. The longer we're married, the more we seem to become ONE. To me, it seems natural. How can this not happen over time? 25 years is a long time to be joined with another, without becoming inseparable. Divorce after that many years has got to be devastating.

I'm in my third and last marriage.  The same for my fantastic husband.  After all these years I finally found someone who understands that the relationship must change and evolve as the individuals involved change and evolve.  It takes work on both parts to maintain a balanced relationship, as well as trust that your partner will "be in your corner" no matter what put you there. 

For me, the abuse I was subjected to as a child gave me a horrible self-image and my understanding of acceptance meant sexual interaction.  My first marriage was abusive and, no, I would not have married him but for my feelings that no one else would probably truely want me.  After 10 years of that, I quickly (too quickly) moved on to another marriage.  It was less abusive than the first, but my partner had no clue about tending to a relationship and just figured it would go on its merry way no matter what.  That one lasted 12 years and resulted in one child (she actually told him to leave because I couldn't bring myself to do it and she was tired of the arguing and constant tension).  I gave myself some time to heal and try to figure out who I was and wanted to be.  Good Choice!  Cameron suddenly appeared in my life almost 2 years ago and I look forward to a very long and happy relationship.

I've met far too many people who were abused, often sexually abused, as children.  There's so many!  Is it just that people are less afraid to come out about it, or has this cruel treatment actually been on the rise?  When people are broken, and don't know how to be "normal", how can they be expected to make sane decisions?  I think this could be a large factor in all the divorces.  You'd be surprised how many have walked that path.