|
BOY! This is a real HOOT! Parra booted from Capitol office Nine words Women use........... Judge: Girl's name, Talula Does The Hula, won't do Cedar Rapids, Iowa is under water! A little wisdom from Charles Sykes……..Teach these to your kids What in God's Green Earth is this world coming to? Guys and Food - The latest chapter Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy What Obama's Senate votes reveal June 06 July 06 August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08
RSS 2.0![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Share! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Well, based on what a lot of others on these blogs wrote, it looks like THEY all agree........ posted by TomW on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:03 AM
posted by tonyh on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:12 AM <Edit> <Delete>
posted by Hardliner4freedom on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:12 AM
posted by tonyh on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:16 AM <Edit> <Delete>
posted by Hardliner4freedom on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:21 AM
posted by Hardliner4freedom on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:24 AM
posted by tonyh on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:30 AM <Edit> <Delete>
posted by Hardliner4freedom on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:35 AM
posted by TomW on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:43 AM
posted by tonyh on Dec 18, 2006 at 10:45 AM <Edit> <Delete>
posted by tonyh on Dec 18, 2006 at 01:16 PM <Edit> <Delete>
In 1782, the United States Congress voted this resolution: '"The Congress of the William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the McGuffey Reader, which was used for over 100 years in our public schools with over 125 million copies sold until it was stopped in 1963. President Lincoln called him the '"Schoolmaster of the Nation."' Listen to these words of Mr. McGuffey: '"The Christian religion is the religion of our country. From it are derived our notions on the character of God, on the great moral Governor of the universe. On its doctrines are founded the peculiarities of our free institutions. From no source has the author drawn more conspicuously than from the sacred Scriptures. From all these extracts from the Bible I make no apology."' Of the first 108 universities founded in Wrapping Christmas Gifts
December 15, 2006
& nbsp; Christmas is a lot of fun for me sometimes. In addition to the normal gift giving, my family plays “The Twelve Days of Christmas” thing, and I really enjoy it. My Great Grandmother Zona (Mom) was the one who introduced me to it when I was a child. It consists of buying and wrapping twelve small, inexpensive, useful gifts for everyone in the family. These gifts don’t cost much (no more than $3.00 each), and must be chosen within an hour. It’s a real hurried thing, so you can’t over-think the choices. It’s absolutely imperative that the shopper knows the benefactor well. It’s a lot of fun to do the shopping and because the gift giving starts twelve days before Christmas. The kids love it too. The gifts are always fun to receive because they’re so unique to the individual receiving them.
& nbsp; I’ll give a few examples. Kids always need Pencils for school. Pencils that smell like Root Beer are a neat thing to receive. Maybe Dad needs a new pair of shoe laces. Maybe Mom carries hand cream in her purse. Kids really like stickers to put on their note books or little magnetic mirrors for their lockers at school. These things are cheap, they’re wanted, and fun to receive.
& nbsp; For me, the downside is wrapping them all. The older I become, the less of a gift wrapper I seem to be. When I was a teenager, I worked at Johnson’s Department Store and loved to wrap gifts for the customers. I was able to use my imagination and turn out beautiful packages. Bud Johnson was always delighted with my careful pattern matching and elaborate bows. The customers would really make over my handiwork.
& nbsp; These days, Bifocals and sore hands make wrapping very small gifts a real chore. Thankfully, my Wife wraps the majority of them. I still wrap her gifts though. My boys help out, but they do more watching and talking than wrapping so you can guess who does the real work. Normal sized packages aren’t a problem. I can still produce a work of art with your average clothes or shoe box sized gift.
& nbsp; Tonight, I wrapped a very large Christmas gift for my Wife,…….by myself. The box was about two feet by two feet by three feet in size. Boy, I thought the really small ones were trouble for me.
& nbsp; Have you ever tried to use wrapping paper that absolutely doesn’t want to unroll? I don’t mean that it curls up a little, once it’s cut from its roll. This stuff, when freed from the roll, actually drew up into a smaller roll than the one that it came from. These were rather long pieces, and they DID NOT want to be made to lay flat on the box and no amount of Scotch Tape was going to change their mind. I felt like I was trying to unfold and lay out a tarp in a wind storm.
& nbsp; I tried stacking and reverse rolling them, to maybe relax them a bit. It was difficult and quite time consuming, but once re-rolled the opposite way, I knew I had the solution to my problem. I held them in this position for several minutes, thinking that it might actually do some good. Everything was great until I released pressure on the reverse-rolled paper. When I did, they went right back into their individual tight rolls that they assumed when originally cut loose. By this time, I felt like a Stooge and was glad to not have an audience.
& nbsp; OK, let’s put the Engineer hat back on, and figure this out…………I decided that maybe if I ironed the paper with the clothes iron, it’d lay flat for me. A small amout of moisture and applied heat should do the trick. Clothes irons don’t have temperature degree marks on the setting dial. They have types of fabric listed for the heat ranges. That’s great, but I wanted to iron paper. Paper isn’t listed on the dial. I guess most normal people don't iron gift wrap. I had to face the fact that I was plowing new ground. After sacrificing one piece of wrapping paper at the Altar of the Clothes Iron, I learned that “Perm Press” wasn’t the best setting for gift wrap. If you iron paper, use the very lowest setting. It won’t toast the color completely out of the gift wrap.
& nbsp; With this little victory; I finally had semi-flat gift wrap. At this point, it only curled up a bit. It still seemed to remember what it was taught to do. With flatter paper, the rest of the job went fairly well. In fact, it was almost as easy as wrapping a regular sized gift.
Lessons learned:
The gift wrapper MUST be smarter than the Wrapping Paper.
If you iron gift wrap, use the lowest setting in the iron, as not to
toast the color out of the paper. Toasted gift wrap isn’t very
pretty and it’s too stiff to wrap anything.
Six inches of Scotch Tape won’t hold any better than one inch,
if the paper has a mind of it’s own.
I’d like to know just when they started making smart wrapping paper with such a long memory…………It absolutely refused to forget how to roll itself back up.
Tony Harrison
Well, here's my attempt at an Essay. I hope someone enjoys reading it. I'm not much of a writer. I'm more of a numbers guy, but I'd like to improve my skills. You're my Guinea Pigs.
My Old Black Cadillac
December 11, 2007
I commute over an hour to work and back each day. I’ve done it for nineteen years and it gives me time to think. Over the years I’ve gone through a progression, maybe an evolution of attitude regarding my commute. It started out with “I don’t mind the commute” then went to “I’m wasting my life in traffic and I hate it”. In the last few years, I’ve progressed to the “This is my quiet, think time”. I much prefer this most recent stage because it makes me feel as though I’m making good use of the time.
Tonight, on my way home from work, I was thinking back many years, to the time when I met and was courting my Wife. We were young and didn’t own anything to speak of. I was in the Navy, living in a Barracks, and owned two sets of civilian clothes and a portable tape deck. At the time we met, I wasn’t really interested in meeting the right “someone”. Before joining the Navy, I thought I’d done that. Trouble was that she did too, only it was someone else. Being a bonified car nut, I was saving my money for a new Corvette. My goal was to save enough during my enlistment to come home to Shafter after four years, and pay cash at Richland Chevrolet, for a brand new Corvette.
One night in November, my plans changed. I met the most striking, most captivating girl in the world. Fifteen minutes after we met, we were laughing and dancing and talking, yes, talking. That was the magical part. We were enjoying conversation. I couldn’t believe it. I’d found, or rather a beautiful package with real substance inside had just found me.
I didn’t see her again for almost two weeks, because I went home on Leave, for Christmas. I didn’t talk about her to anyone, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The thoughts and feelings were so overpowering that I cut short my Christmas Leave by almost a week, to return and try and see her again. As soon as I returned to the Base, I took stock of my savings, which were a little shallow since I’d only been in the Navy for a little over a year. I knew that I needed a car, if I were to ask this Angel out for a real date.
After a quick trip to the Credit Union to empty my account, I walked off Base and out into the local Town. Since it was late December in the South, the snow was more like wet slush, about eight inches deep. I walked onto the nearest Used Car Lot and, being the only customer in the office, got the guy’s attention immediately. We exchanged greetings and then I told him exactly what I was there for. “Mr. I want a good, reliable car for $1,000 cash, tax, tags and all.” Then, I flashed him a roll of bills from my shirt pocket. His eyes widened and he became very serious. He said “I don’t have anything on this lot that meets your needs, but on my other lot, I’m sure that I’ve got a couple of cars that will. It’s only about three blocks away. Let me lock up and I’ll take you in my car.” When we arrived at his other lot, again, I was the only customer. He looked around and pointed to two cars out front. He paused for a moment and pointed over beside the office and said “Under that pile of snow, there’s a Cadillac with five new tires. I’ll put a new battery in it and you can have it for $1,000.” Looking over where he was pointing, the only thing visible was the corner of a chrome bumper and one headlight. I told him to dig it out of the snow, that I might be interested.
After a twenty minute wait, I was looking at a black Cadillac Eldorado, with white leather seats. This car was a Land Yacht. The body was straight and it looked good, from across a parking lot. When a new battery was installed, that big 501 cubic inch engine started right up and ran real well. After a twenty mile test drive in the snow and ice, the deal was complete. I was even able to talk him out of a full tank of gas. Now, I was ready.
The very next night I drove to the place where I’d met my Angel, in hopes that I’d see her again. I can’t describe my anxiety, as I walked in and looked around. Ah, how lucky can a guy get? There she was, sitting at a table with friends across the room. Shoving my thoughts of possible rejection deep into a hole inside myself, I walked across the room to greet her and ask her to dance. This is where it got unbelievable. She not only remembered me, but she lit up at my sight. This Angel was actually glad to see me. All of my worries, over the last few weeks melted away in an instant. We had a great evening together. She also agreed to our first date. Needless to say, I was walking on sunshine.
Three months later, we were engaged to be married. I was transferred to another Navy Base five hundred miles away, while she finished school. That old black Cadillac made many thousand mile weekend round trips, even though it shouldn’t have. I’d leave after work on Friday afternoon and arrive in her Parents driveway in the wee hours of the morning, with the radiator steaming through the grill, but, even though the power sunroof was broken and I never did repair the A/C, that old car kept running well for me. It hauled us everywhere. It was a great Drive-in car. With an overstuffed bench front seat and a huge windshield, it made for the best seat in the house. In warm weather, the sun roof could slide open by hand, since the electric motor drive was broken.
These days, I’m able to drive a comfortable new vehicle. All of the gizmos work as advertised, but it isn’t any more reliable than that old piece of junk Cadillac that magically hauled us through the courting process.
I’m still married to that Angel. It’ll be twenty-one years, this coming May. We’ve got two strong, healthy Sons who keep us on top of our game. I still haven’t achieved the goal of a new Corvette, but I’m more proud of what I got instead. Good trade, huh?
I read this and thought it was GREAT!.......It makes sense.
I guess it was an early sign that I was heading for a career in mathematics that, when I was a young child, the run-up to Christmas always presented me with a numerical puzzle. How could Santa Claus possibly visit all children at midnight on the same night? I never did get a satisfactory answer from my parents, whose stock response was "No one knows; he just does." These days, the adult me can address the question in a mathematically more sophisticated way. Just how big is the task facing Santa on Christmas Eve? Let's assume that Santa only visits those who are children in the eyes of the law, that is, those under the age of 18. There are roughly 2 billion such individuals in the world. However, Santa started his annual activities long before diversity and equal opportunity became issues, and as a result he doesn't handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children. That reduces his workload significantly to a mere 15% of the total, namely 378 million. However, the crucial figure is not the number of children but the number of homes Santa has to visit. According to the most recent census data, the average size of a family in the world is 3.5 children per household. Thus, Santa has to visit 108,000,000 individual homes. (Of course, as everyone knows, Santa only visits good children, but we can surely assume that, on an average, at least one child of the 3.5 in each home meets that criterion.) That's quite a challenge. However, by traveling east to west, Santa can take advantage of the different time zones, and that gives him 24 hours. Santa can complete the job if he averages 1250 household visits per second. In other words, for each Christian household with at least one good child, Santa has 1/1250th of a second to park his sleigh, dismount, slide down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, consume the cookies and milk that have been left out for him, climb back up the chimney, get back onto the sleigh, and move on to the next house. To keep the math simple, let's assume that these 108 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth. That means Santa is faced with a mean distance between households of around 0.75 miles, and the total distance Santa must travel is just over 75 million miles. Hence Santa's sleigh must be moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. A typical reindeer can run at most 15 miles per hour. That's quite a feat Santa performs each year. What happens when we take into account the payload on the sleigh? Assuming that the average weight of presents Santa delivers to each child is 2 pounds, the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons -- and that's not counting Santa himself, who, judging by all those familiar pictures, is no lightweight. On land, a reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Of course, Santa's reindeer can fly. (True, no known species of reindeer can fly. However, biologists estimate that there are some 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, we cannot rule out flying reindeer.) Now, there is a dearth of reliable data on flying reindeer, but let's assume that a good specimen can pull ten times as much as a normal reindeer. This means that Santa needs 214,200 reindeer. Thus, the total weight of this airborne transportation system is in excess of 350,000 tons, which is roughly four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. Now, 350,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance, and this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The two reindeer in the lead pair will each absorb some 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second. In the absence of a NASA-designed heat shield, this will cause them to burst into flames spontaneously, exposing the pair behind them. The result will be a rapid series of deafening sonic booms, as the entire reindeer team is vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Meanwhile, Santa himself will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than gravity. That should do wonders for his waistline. Christmas is indeed a magical time. Liberals Are More Likely To Suffer Heart Attacks In a recent study performed by researchers at Drew Fallon College near Redding, CA, suggests that people passionate in liberal causes tend to suffer more heart-related ailments.Susan Belusco, who led the research, managed to gather three study groups, one group of 115 people claiming to be passionate over conservative causes, a second group of 115 claiming to be passionate over liberal causes, and a third group of 115 people who claiming not to pay much attention to political issues, dubbed the "neutral group". "The conservative and neutral groups seemed to share similar vitals after testings on the EKG and the treadmill", notes Belusco. "Blood pressure readings didn't seem to vary much between these two groups. However, the liberal group showed remarkably higher number of people above the healthy blood pressure range, and treadmill tests suggested a higher number of people with weaker cardiac rhythm, and more stressed breathing." Overall, Belusco notes the liberal group had an 18% higher rate of cardio-pulmonary risk factors, ranging from hypertension, to smoking, to being overweight. A psychological analysis conducted by Belusco's assistant, Jonathan Fitz, showed that the liberal group tended to have more sleeping problems, and experienced higher cases of stress. "Tests we've conducted showed the liberal group tended to have higher feelings of hopelessness than with the conservative and neutral groups", Fitz explains. Dr. Isao Yamashita, who studies the effects of current events on human behavior at Cowle Laboratories, Inc. in Payson, AZ, took an interest in the study and offered some explanations surrounding the results. "Within the past 10 years, we've witnessed certain events that tend to weigh more heavily on people active in the liberal movement", says Yamashita. "News of global warming, Americans voting for more conservative politicians, the building of more Wal-Mart stores, these things and more are putting liberals under greater stress". Yamashita also points to more clinical matters, such as a correlation of caffeine addiction with the increase of coffee houses, higher sodium intake with the popularity of tofu-based substitutes, and an increase in electro-magnetic radiation from driving hybrid cars. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||