http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985 It's getting warm and sunny and that means lawns will be growing fast for the next few months. I'm sure there are some great lawn horror stories out there. Or maybe some wonderful story about how your lawn saved your life, marriage, etc. Share them here and you might win our latest Free Stuff item, the book &quot;Lawnscapes.&quot; This a cool little book that has all kinds of tips for making your lawn a work of art. This looks like one of those novelty books (what with the fake turf on the cover), but there is a lot of serious mowing knowledge inside. As usual, please check out our rules here. It's getting warm and sunny and that means lawns will be growing fast for the next few months. I'm sure there are some great lawn horror stories out there. Or maybe some wonderful story about how your lawn saved your life, marriage, etc. Share them here and you might win our latest Free Stuff item, the book &quot;Lawnscapes.&quot; This a cool little book that has all kinds of tips for making your lawn a work of art. This looks like one of those novelty books (what with the fake turf on the cover), but there is a lot of serious mowing knowledge inside. As usual, please check out our rules here. en-us Mon, 07 May 2007 15:29:35 PDT I fought the lawn...and the lawn won. http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87062 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87062 I fought the lawn...and the lawn won. I fought the lawn.....oh wait...  I only have a patio! http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87117 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87117 I fought the lawn.....oh wait...  I only have a patio! My favorite lawn story is, on Belle Terrace I think, where the owner cemented his whole front yard with the lawnmower in the middle. http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87139 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87139 My favorite lawn story is, on Belle Terrace I think, where the owner cemented his whole front yard with the lawnmower in the middle. Okay, so, the year is 1999. The place: Tehachapi CA, Golden Hills is the subdivision. I 'm merrily mowing about with my lil' electric push mower, &nbsp;and I keep hitting these clumps of stuff. The mower did what &nbsp;it was supposed to do as it hit the clumps of stuff; It splattered it all over the place. On closer inspection, I discovered that the clumps of stuff were actually piles of dead voles. My kitty Axl, (RIP) would go out each night on a murderous rampage, and pile the voles in stacks of 5 to 9 high, all over the yard. http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87167 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87167 Okay, so, the year is 1999. The place: Tehachapi CA, Golden Hills is the subdivision. I 'm merrily mowing about with my lil' electric push mower, &nbsp;and I keep hitting these clumps of stuff. The mower did what &nbsp;it was supposed to do as it hit the clumps of stuff; It splattered it all over the place. On closer inspection, I discovered that the clumps of stuff were actually piles of dead voles. My kitty Axl, (RIP) would go out each night on a murderous rampage, and pile the voles in stacks of 5 to 9 high, all over the yard. <p>Cooch, now I had to look up what a vole is....<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vole">now I know</a></p> <p>The only lawn story I can think of is when I was kid, my dad was mowing the lawn in the back yard and we saw something black come out of the thrower.&nbsp; It was a mangled tarantula.</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87168 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87168 <p>Cooch, now I had to look up what a vole is....<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vole">now I know</a></p> <p>The only lawn story I can think of is when I was kid, my dad was mowing the lawn in the back yard and we saw something black come out of the thrower.&nbsp; It was a mangled tarantula.</p> <p>Ahhh Robb...the temptation is great.&nbsp; If only my landlady would agree.</p> <p>Right now if I killed off the crab grass I'd have almost no lawn at all.&nbsp; I got out my trusty rusty spreader a few weeks ago and put down some Weed and Feed.&nbsp; As instructed, I didn't water for something like 72 hours then poured the water to it.&nbsp; One day I noticed an odd pattern like someone had set a camper shell on the lawn and there was a yellow, rounded edged rectangle&nbsp; outlined in the grass.&nbsp; I puzzled over this phenomenon, scratched my head, pondered, and finally wondered if it was the same thing that happened to the corn fields.&nbsp; You know..the circles and patterns supposedly made by aliens.</p> <p>It finally came to me what the pattern was.&nbsp; The rounded edge was from the turns I made with the spreader.&nbsp; I had apparenlty gotten too much fertilizer (In the &quot;Feed&quot; part) and burned the grass on my rounds.</p> <p>The other problem I have is that there were two big trees in the front yard at one time.&nbsp; I know that because the neighbors all have the obligitory two trees, one on each side of the sidewalk...while I only have big dips in the lawn.&nbsp; It's not too bad until you step off in one not noticing because the grass is so tall inside.&nbsp; The other problem is that the mower goes down in the hole but has trouble climbing out again.</p> <p>Anyone know a mow and blow guy who mows on the cheap?&nbsp; Or anyone have a goat they aren't using?</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87227 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87227 <p>Ahhh Robb...the temptation is great.&nbsp; If only my landlady would agree.</p> <p>Right now if I killed off the crab grass I'd have almost no lawn at all.&nbsp; I got out my trusty rusty spreader a few weeks ago and put down some Weed and Feed.&nbsp; As instructed, I didn't water for something like 72 hours then poured the water to it.&nbsp; One day I noticed an odd pattern like someone had set a camper shell on the lawn and there was a yellow, rounded edged rectangle&nbsp; outlined in the grass.&nbsp; I puzzled over this phenomenon, scratched my head, pondered, and finally wondered if it was the same thing that happened to the corn fields.&nbsp; You know..the circles and patterns supposedly made by aliens.</p> <p>It finally came to me what the pattern was.&nbsp; The rounded edge was from the turns I made with the spreader.&nbsp; I had apparenlty gotten too much fertilizer (In the &quot;Feed&quot; part) and burned the grass on my rounds.</p> <p>The other problem I have is that there were two big trees in the front yard at one time.&nbsp; I know that because the neighbors all have the obligitory two trees, one on each side of the sidewalk...while I only have big dips in the lawn.&nbsp; It's not too bad until you step off in one not noticing because the grass is so tall inside.&nbsp; The other problem is that the mower goes down in the hole but has trouble climbing out again.</p> <p>Anyone know a mow and blow guy who mows on the cheap?&nbsp; Or anyone have a goat they aren't using?</p> A few years back my husband was on a business trip and a kind neighbor decided to mow my lawn for me.&nbsp; Well, he mowed over some roots from our thirty foot &nbsp;tree in the front.&nbsp; Then he decided to put some type of weed killer on the lawn for me as well and the&nbsp;severed roots sucked it&nbsp; right up!&nbsp; A week later most of the tree had turn black like it had been torched. A few more weeks and it was completely dead and had to be cut down.&nbsp; He never did ask why we cut the tree down and I didn't have the heart to tell him it was his fault. http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87363 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87363 A few years back my husband was on a business trip and a kind neighbor decided to mow my lawn for me.&nbsp; Well, he mowed over some roots from our thirty foot &nbsp;tree in the front.&nbsp; Then he decided to put some type of weed killer on the lawn for me as well and the&nbsp;severed roots sucked it&nbsp; right up!&nbsp; A week later most of the tree had turn black like it had been torched. A few more weeks and it was completely dead and had to be cut down.&nbsp; He never did ask why we cut the tree down and I didn't have the heart to tell him it was his fault. <p>I do have a lawn story I realized as I read the above.</p> <p>It was Mother's Day ten odd years ago.&nbsp; I was married to my (ex, now) husband, and I figured since he didn't acknowledge mother's day (He always told me I&nbsp; wasn't&nbsp;HIS mother)&nbsp; I decided to mow the yard with his brand new front throw mower.&nbsp; I was gonna show him something!&nbsp; Hmmph!&nbsp; Needless to say, I mowed the yard every&nbsp;Sunday for the rest of the marriage, cause now he knew that I could, he didn't bother with it&nbsp;!!!&nbsp; </p> <p>I sure showed him!&nbsp; =)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87593 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87593 <p>I do have a lawn story I realized as I read the above.</p> <p>It was Mother's Day ten odd years ago.&nbsp; I was married to my (ex, now) husband, and I figured since he didn't acknowledge mother's day (He always told me I&nbsp; wasn't&nbsp;HIS mother)&nbsp; I decided to mow the yard with his brand new front throw mower.&nbsp; I was gonna show him something!&nbsp; Hmmph!&nbsp; Needless to say, I mowed the yard every&nbsp;Sunday for the rest of the marriage, cause now he knew that I could, he didn't bother with it&nbsp;!!!&nbsp; </p> <p>I sure showed him!&nbsp; =)</p> <p>Damn those womens libbers anyway.&nbsp; When they burned their bras they burned my fanny because now guys expect US to lift heavy things and kill spiders.&nbsp; Pshaw..what's up with THAT?</p> <p>(ynoma74...never let them see you sweat.)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87879 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87879 <p>Damn those womens libbers anyway.&nbsp; When they burned their bras they burned my fanny because now guys expect US to lift heavy things and kill spiders.&nbsp; Pshaw..what's up with THAT?</p> <p>(ynoma74...never let them see you sweat.)</p> <p>Coochee's gotta be the winner here ---- dead, mowed up voles, YUCK!</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87891 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_87891 <p>Coochee's gotta be the winner here ---- dead, mowed up voles, YUCK!</p> Our crack staff of judges picked deenie1's story as the winner. Congrats! http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_91770 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8985/#c_91770 Our crack staff of judges picked deenie1's story as the winner. Congrats!