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----- Subject: New Element Discovered
*The Heaviest Element Known to Science:**
Governmentium is the latest element
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered*
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science.
The new element, *Governmentium (Gv)* has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are *held together by forces called morons*, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years
to...
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