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i need them stamps. cuz my old man just got locked up again.  and i need to write to him.  and i need to send him stamps so he can write to me and my babies. now i know my babies wanna talk to their daddy, but  those dang collect calls costs too much.  i cant afford to get my phone cut off again.  had to sell my food stamps to get it hooked up again.    you need ta give away some free gas too. i cant take my babys out to go visit on the weekends anymore 'cause gas is too 'spensive.   ok, the above is fictional of course, but isn't is more entertaining than "i  need to send in my PG&E and cable bills"?  i think i should get points for creativity.
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