-“Why Africa? Why not Europe?” was what everyone asks me I tell them I went to Rwanda.
Why Africa?
When I was 14 years old I heard a man talk about ministries in Asia, and I thought it was a good calling for him but not for me. The next couple months the idea of going to Africa as a missionary implanted itself in my mind and would not leave. I asked God everyday if that was seriously what He wanted. I thought He was crazy! Why would I go to Africa? It is dirty, poor, and not to mention far away; I did not want to leave my family. Going to Africa was completely absurd and made no sense to me. I argued with God for a couple of years, but toward the end of high school my calling was confirmed. I was excited about Africa and researched the different countries on the continent. However, I always thought I would go when I was much older.
Events that shaped and prepared me for Rwanda
God provided a way for me to attend California Baptist University (CBU). I could not afford it, and I was afraid to go alone. I prayed everyday of my senior year of high school, and God blessed me more than I could ever imagine: He paid for my first year of college with scholarships and grants and permitted me to go with a friend. I was introduced to a program called ISP (International Service Projects) during the freshman orientation, and I was told a group goes to Rwanda, Africa and I knew this was the reason I was at CBU. I decided to fill out an application, and the professor I asked to write a recommendation for me was one of the professors going to Rwanda. She said she would request me to be on her team; this confirmed Rwanda as my calling. In December I found out I was going to Rwanda with the professor I asked to write me a recommendation.
I started to get to know my team and the more we talked, the more similarities we saw in our backgrounds. Whenever I had a problem I always called one of my team members, and they knew exactly what I was going through, and they always had time to give me a hug and give me an encouraging word. Everything that happened confirmed that I was supposed to go on this trip.
The closer I got to leaving, the more nervous my family and I became. We all learned how to trust God; I have never had so much faith in God as in the days before my trip. Even though Rwanda is a third world country, and is not the place most Americans want to visit, I still had the support of all my friends and family. I constantly reminded them how much I appreciated them and how grateful for them I was. I knew I was suppose to go, but it was difficult for me to get my mind around the idea of going to a HIV/AIDS and Malaria infested area with severe poverty where a genocide occurred 13 years ago; but in my mind the good things out-weighed the bad. My mom, dad, and grandpa were three people who had the hardest time letting me go, but they knew God had a bigger and better plan than anyone of us could dream up. I had to explain to my closest friends and family that I may not be safe, but I am always protected because I committed my life to God, and He only does what is best. I talked to my mom before I left for college and told her I love her, but the ultimate authority of my life is God, and what He says goes. I love and respect her, and she knew that, but she also realized that neither of us was in control, but God was.
Experience in the Country
When we got to the hotel in Butare, Rwanda I wondered what the heck I was doing in Africa. Did I seriously think I can save the world? Was I really here? How was I supposed to be a teacher to people who were five years older than I? My professor from CBU and I took a walk around the hotel compound, and I told her I could not teach. I told her I was scared out of my mind, and there was no way I could stand in front of the class. She told me to get over it, because that was the exact reason I was in Rwanda, and I had no choice. I wanted to cry, because I was so overwhelmed! The only thing I thought to do was pray and read my bible. I started talking to God like He was in the room with me. I was telling Him how overwhelmed I felt, and how unqualified I was, and how unworthy I was to be an authority figure in Rwanda. I also told him I have nothing to offer, and I can not do this alone. God had a good laugh at me. He said very plainly:
“Duh! Of course you can’t do it, why would you think otherwise? You can’t do anything alone, and it has been proven. You are here because I want to use you. You can’t do anything alone, but with my power you can do anything. Do you remember the hard times you went through in high school; well this is the time to share those stories with the people here; to show my power. All things are possible with me, and without me nothing is possible. ”
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). The things I learned and read in The Bible all came back to my memory at this moment and that was the only way I knew previous words were from God.
We worked in association with the National University of Rwanda. Before students began studying in the national university and focusing on their majors they were required to take a year of French and a year of English. The students we had originally spoke Kenyanrwandan or Swahili, then learned French and English; most of my students spoke four languages fluently. Their English teachers were not native English speakers. Their teachers either were learning English alongside their students, or studied the language, but did not speak it regularly.
My group and I were told we were going to be teaching English, but when we arrived we were told our primary goal was to facilitate discussions, to help them use the English they learned. I loved to talk so this was not a big issue.
Before my partner and I started the group discussions in class we taught our students about purpose and asked them why they were alive; before I left I read Rick Warren’s book, Forty Days of Purpose Driven Life. One of our chapel speakers at CBU proposed and answered four questions from a Faith perspective and from a Secular perspective: Who am I, why am I here, what is wrong with the world, and how can we fix what is wrong with the world? These questions made me wonder why I was alive and what my purpose for living was. I always assumed I was alive because God wanted me alive, but I always thought I would discover my purpose right before my 100th birthday! When I read Rick Warren’s book for the second time and evaluated my personality traits, my past, my passions, and my education I realized I was created to be a teacher to bring hope to the hopeless student I encounter. I want to show the love of God to everyone I encounter and let them know their future is not determined by their past.
I am the oldest of four. My mom was 16 years old when I was born. My biological father has been absent since I was two years old. I was raised by my mom and step-dad (whom I refer to as dad). My dad struggled with a drug addiction most of his adult life. He was diagnosed with a terminal illness when my mom was pregnant with my youngest sibling, I was 13 years old. My parents divorced my senior year. Even though I had a full load and very involved in high school, I helped with the daily care for my two younger siblings.
Instead of using all of this as a hindrance, I used all the issues I faced as a reason to succeed. My purpose was a direct reflection of my past. I shared my experiences with my students, and they saw how Americans have problems, and how we have faith that we will be stronger in the end. Some of the questions my students had about marriage, family, and friends were answered with my personal testimony. Some of the issues my students faced, I faced as well. During the breaks, my students and I discussed the issues we faced and the possible ways to resolve the issues.
My partner and I asked for a list of issues they face daily then we divided the class into groups and assigned an issue to each group to research and present to the class. Their task was to identify the problem, say why it was a problem, what they personally could do to help solve the problem without the help of the government or the bank, and research what the government was doing about the issue. They had to create a timeline showing how and when they wanted to see their problem resolved.
Some of the issues we discussed in class included: relationships, sex, marriage, education, government, tourism, social inequality, poverty, and HIV/AIDS. The basic things I learned in school and in life were a mystery to them. They were interested in American marriages, the government’s role in educating its students, what poverty and economics are like in America, and the flaws in American businesses.
My students did an excellent job, and I was very impressed by their research and the time they put into their presentations. They were also graded on their use of English and how well they answered questions. After their presentations, I realized the reason I was in Rwanda. Seeing my students present was one of the best moments of my trip. I enjoyed being a positive example in their lives and teaching is one of the most rewarding things I have done.
Reflections
Every time I opened my mouth, the room, for the most part was silent. In no way did I feel credible to explain with authority to my students the answers to their questions, especially questions about business.
Teaching people who are five years older than me, who are from a different country, speak a different language, and who have experienced more life than I have is the most humbling experience I have ever had. I honestly feel like I did nothing to make a difference. The only things I can honestly say I did were: travel to Rwanda, hike in the Rwandan rainforest, and take pictures. I can not take credit for any good thing that happened. I can report and tell people about the awesome and speechless things God did. I am simply an instrument who is willing to be used, like a doctor uses a stethoscope. Do you praise the stethoscope for saving your life, or do you praise the doctor?
Poverty in Rwanda
For those of you who may not have guessed, Rwanda is a third world country. Every day my team and I walked to the market around the corner from our hotel, and everyday we passed street children (orphans/beggars) who had not eaten anything in days and who begged for a drink of water or something to eat. Every time I think about the orphans on the street my heart breaks. When we looked for something to eat in the market, we saw the street children asking us to buy them something. I wanted to cry because we were not allowed to buy them anything. If we gave one child something, we had to give the 100 other people around them something to eat as well. If we gave a child food it either went to their parents (if they are still alive), or someone took it from them. The children fought over an empty water bottle, to the point where if we did not give the other child a water bottle someone was going to get hurt. The only time in my life I did not feel like a Christian was when I passed beggars on the street telling them I could not give them anything. I had $40 with me, a snack and water bottle, but if we gave anyone anything, we would be harassed for more by others on the street. My teammate and I talked about the poverty daily, and we desperately wanted to do something to help because we felt like hypocrites.
Everyday we passed a woman who had a baby who was at least four months old. She also had a cute little boy who was one or two years old and everyday she asked us to give her children something to eat. I started getting tired of seeing her because I wanted to help, but I could not. The last day I tried to give her a couple of rolls for her baby, but there were so many beggars around; they would have hurt her or me for the food.
Since the Rwandese could tell we were Americans they called us rich foreigners. I explained to my students how I am not rich in America, but they still saw me as rich, and why shouldn’t they? In Rwanda hot water is a luxury, they have to boil their water before they use it for anything, the only clean water is bottled water and most people can not afford to buy water, those who can afford it, eat 3 small meals a day. Everyone walks everywhere, and only the wealthy have cars. Their houses were simple, and from what I know, there was no heater or air conditioning. I also do not have to worry about where I will find food to feed my family, nor do I have to worry about my family members dying from AIDS. Everyday one of my students or one of my friends’ students said a family member died of AIDS; most people can not afford to buy medicine. However while I was there I learned about a program President Bush funds that provides medicine to AIDS victims, and free testing for HIV/AIDS, awareness, prevention, and education about the disease.
Lessons Learned
I learned how to be appreciative for what I have and what I do not have. I do not have everything I want, but since being home, I realized how much I do have, and I am grateful for all the things I have been blessed with. There is so much more to life than collecting junk that sits in the garage our whole lives. When I saw how little the Rwandese had, I started getting mad at myself because I have so much, and they have so little. The missionary we worked with told us not to become bitter at ourselves or our family but to use what we have to help others and to promote the gospel of Christ.
In 1989 and 1994, Rwanda went through a genocide that severely altered their lives. In 1994 alone, 800,000 people were killed. There are three major ethnic groups there: the Hutu, Tutsi, and the Batwa (Twa). The British came in their country and told the Hutu they dominated over the Tutsi; over time this theory became the central idea that began the genocide. In 1994, there were check points everywhere, before passing, every person had to show their identification card proving which ethnicity they were. Family members were forced to kill family members, families were divided, people were tortured, and dead bodies filled the streets; bodies were stacked in trucks to be taken away. When I went through orientation, I was told there were still bones in the streets and bushes because there were so many people who were killed in the genocide that all the human remains have not all been collected; I am grateful I did not see any bones in the streets or bushes. Many of my students told me they were orphaned after the genocide. Most of my students are raising their younger siblings, working, and going to college. I have nothing but respect for my students because they have been through so much and they have so many goals they want to reach; they let nothing stop them. There is so much optimism in my students! They desperately want a better life, and they believe it is possible. They have so much faith that God is taking care of them. What else is there to believe? They are hopeful and confident that something can happen that will reverse the toll poverty has taken on them as well as their country.
They appreciate life and know what is most important; one of the reasons we were created was for relationships. They focus on their relationships with one another, with their families, and with God. They spend each moment like it is their last.
Awareness of World issues
I started researching Rwanda when I found out I was going there; looking at its history, geography, politics, religion, etc. I learned there was genocide in 1994 that killed 800,000 people, as I previously said. This motivated me to learn more about other genocides in the world. I wanted to learn all I could about their genocide but I was told to research American issues so I could tell the Rwandese how we deal with our issues. I always have been interested in learning about the holocaust in Berlin in 1939. This lead me to research the civil rights movement and the different groups involved. I also learned about the genocide that is going on in Darfur right now. Now that I have visited a country that went through genocide and have friends who were orphaned from it, I have a stronger desire to help the victims. Even though the genocide happened 13 years ago and lasted 100 days, they are still reaping the consequences in 2007. Walking down the street I saw blind men, people with disassembled limbs, children who were obviously products of rape during the genocide, and students are raising their siblings because their parents died. Not much has changed since the genocide in 1994, and they still need help recovering from the genocide. The poverty and lack of education I aforementioned are all repercussions of the genocide. There are so many problems in the world far greater than Paris Hilton going to jail, things needing your immediate attention. Since going to Rwanda, I realize how small the world is and how closely connected we all are. Every person I talked to in Rwanda said they see America as heaven on earth. They also see us as immoral and selfish people. They want to come to the USA to study, start a business, and then take their business back to their country to help bring it out of its financial hole. They desperately want help from Americans and Europeans. Get involved in your world. I know America has its own issues we need to address, but anything will help; the world really needs it. I used every excuse there was to not to go to Rwanda. I always thought I was too young, did not have resources to help, not enough money, or the time to help, but third world countries will use anything you send their way. With our differences, we complement one another and each person helps in ways others can not. Going to Rwanda changed my life forever, and I am grateful for the opportunity I had to go. My life goal was to go to Africa to teach and help third world countries; I did it. This shows how small we as people think and how big and global God operates. I will continue working until Jesus comes to take me home, because there is plenty of work to do until then. I reached my number one goal at age 18, imagine the exciting things He has waiting for me.
