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The Depths of a Walking Skeleton
Topics: health, anorexia, eating disorder, body image, disease, recovery, weight
Posted by bakobornnraised Mon Jun 2, 2008 13:09:03 PDT
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My name is Jolie Brouttier and for the past two years I have been struggling with Anorexia. I used to be a chubby girl and muscular female, who played softball for thirteen years (from TBall to Varsity fast pitch). That's the old me, unfortunately. Now, I stuggle daily with counting calories and distorted body image. The attatchment is a paper  I wrote for a college course I am taking. Writing about something I stuggle with seemed to come easy for me. I just want people to realize that anorexia is more than "oh, that girl who doesn't eat anything..." It's a psychological and physical disease that can happen to anyone and increase in numbers each day. I am like no other person in Bakersfield and feel the need to spread the word around. I find that if I can prevent anyone else from going through the daily battles I face; maybe it will be an answer as to why God chose this path for me to take in life.

The Depths of a Walking Skeleton
Jolie Brouttier
California State University Bakersfield

It is easy to write about a disease that one has already become face to face with. In America, 3.7% of all females will suffer from Anorexia Nervosa, as well as males, who fall fewer in number, but none the less, battle the disorder as well. Anorexia nervosa can be defined in a number of ways. Those who have never dealt with the disease may mock the disorder by showing pictures of celebrities and beauty queens who are nothing but skin and bones. Those who have battled the disorder personally may say it’s their best friend and their biggest enemy at the same time. As for a medical and precise definition, anorexia nervosa is as psychological, as it is physical. Anorexia is deliberate weight loss and fears of gaining weight and body distortion. People, like me, who suffer from anorexia, know the most about this disorder; the causes and effects, the impacts one disorder can have on their health, family, and life, and the solutions to getting their life back.
    Anorexia has proven to surface in people for many various reasons. One theory is that the disorder seems to build from past experiences that usually occur during childhood and that deal with eating habits and weight issues. The lack of control in a person’s past seems to create a thirst for control once this person reaches their adolescence. Unfortunately, those who have anorexia and feel as if they are in control of their eating habits, body, and life, are completely out of control. Today, people live in such a weight and body-obsessed society, and low-self esteem in young girls and boys has become a common problem. Society and medial attention emasculates the population’s sense of self acceptance today, more so than ever before.
    Television and cinematic productions, actors and actresses, models and magazines all effect our perception in negative ways. Whether you are a young girl admiring the physique of Barbie or a grocery shopper mystified over Angelina Jolie on the cover of Cosmo, the exposure of “perfectionism” affects lives mentally and physically. People who suffer from anorexia idolize such images, and although they know that what they see is nearly impractical and impossible, their thirst to seek control and greatness overtakes their sane judgment. Studying a group of female undergraduate students who viewed advertisements featuring thin-ideal models, researchers found that those who had feelings of body dissatisfaction were likely to compare themselves to models in advertisements, leading to feelings of lower self-worth, depression, body dissatisfaction and ultimately a preoccupation with diet and exercise. "Women who already have low opinions of their physical appearance are at an even greater risk for negative effects from media images," says Gayle R. Bessenoff, Ph.D., author of the study (“How Advertisements Affect,” n.d.).  As human beings, it is morally okay to have flaws, but as an anorexic, it is never okay. Anorexia is a lose-lose disease, meaning, those who suffer from the disorder do whatever it takes to get to their perfect size and shape, but because that does not exist, they set themselves up for failure every time. The disorder is habit, a bad habit, and like most bad habits, it is hard to break free.
    What starts out as a simple diet, consisting of healthier eating and daily exercise, can quickly spiral into a nightmare. For some with anorexia, their disordered life is far from the life they once lived. Pudgy kids often face classmates that are cruel and bullies that are abundant in numbers, making the zest to be accepted without any altercations extremely powerful. Unfortunately, the definition of acceptance today resembles a body lacking fat or flab. People, who develop the eating disorder, seem to have struggled with weight all their lives, and when they are able to gain control of their body through healthy eating and exercise, they become fixated on losing weight. Just as cigarette smokers consume their lives around nicotine, anorexics consume their lives around losing weight. The habit of visually seeing numbers on the scale go down or bones on the body surface, is just what anorexia is. The mind becomes warped with repetitive thoughts regarding food, calories, and weight loss while internal organs and physical appearance are disrupted.
    Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder that affects a person’s thinking, decision making, and control. The brains of those who suffer with anorexia produce mixed relationships between food and emotions, comfort and anxiety. During a comparison study at the University of Pittsburg School of Medicine, “thirteen women who have suffered with anorexia nervosa showed activity in the anterior ventral striatum, a region in the brain associated with emotional reaction. The findings help to explain why many anorexics exhibit anxiety and meticulousness as early as childhood and suggest that they may find it easier to deny themselves comforts such as food” (Kayes et el., 2007, p. 204). Anorexia may become stronger when a person makes life changes, such as a new chapter in their life like going to college or being involved in a new romantic relationship. These changes are part of growing up, but for people struggling with the eating disorder, they estimate into uncontrollable occurrences that sprout emotions, whether it is stress or anger, depression or happiness. As a solution to gain a sense of control back, they reduce their caloric intake. What enables a person to ignore the hunger pains is a voice, a psychological voice in the mind of an anorexic.
    Many of the psychological effects during anorexia are brought on by the voice. When anorexics wake up, the voice demands for them to weigh in, hoping to see lower numbers than the day before. When they look at themselves in the mirror, the disorders’ psychological impact causes them to see every pinch of skin as fat and every protruding bone as bliss.  Throughout the day, people with anorexia are disgusted with themselves because the reflection in the mirror is not perfect in their eyes. They isolate themselves and avoid hanging out with friends and family where food may be present or staring eyes may find their way on to their skeletal bodies. They hide behind lies like, “I already ate” and they cover up with baggy clothing. The voice of an anorexic cannot be seen or heard and the psychological aspects of the disorder often remain unnoticed from the outside looking in. Anorexia not only distorts the mind, however, it distorts the physical traits and elements of a person’s body, inside and out as well.
    Anorexia produces side effects that disrupt appearances in diverse ways. Those who suffer with the disorder find themselves with massive amounts of luscious locks falling from their head, while the rest of their body reacts to their extreme sensitivity to temperature and covers up with lanugo, fine hairs that appear all over their body and face.  Because anorexics are categorized as 15% below their necessary body weight, many suffer with the constant feeling of being cold, whether it is winter or summer. Along with weak hair, brittle nails chip and break, skin becomes excessively dry and pale, often bruising easier and more frequently, and teeth become fragile. Just as teeth become brittle, the bones in the body of an anorexic victim lessen, leading to an early diagnosis of Osteoporosis. A lowered blood pressure results in the loss of energy and dizziness, potential liver and kidney failure, and for females, the cessation of the menstrual cycle. Every organ is a muscle and every muscle needs protein to strive, but anorexics commonly restrict their protein intake and therefore, suffer heart palpitations. An eating disorder is more than just skin and bones. Anorexia can lead to cardiac arrest and death. “The fatality rate of anorexia alone is upwards of 20 percent -- that’s one-in-five (who) die,” says Dr. Ira Sacker, one of the world’s foremost experts on eating disorders. “We’re talking about the highest mortality rate of any emotional disease known” (Van Sant, 2004).
    Anorexics are only truly happy when they are dead. The psychological and physical effects of anorexia cause family and friends to experience the loss of their loved one through an emotional state. Almost everything about a person dies once they develop the eating disorder. Isolation contorts a socialite into a loner, while malnutrition converts a star athlete into a comatose being. Depression disables smiles and laughs while meal anxiety invites unwanted disputes. Parents begin to feel at fault, while siblings struggle to find a reason for such portrayals of the disorder and when combined under one household, families fall apart. The eating disorder known as anorexia is a habitual illness, and just as it takes years to evolve into the nightmare it becomes, it takes years to recover as well.
    The first step to recovering from an eating disorder is recognizing and accepting the fact that there is, indeed, a problem. Anorexics are stellar liars and sneaks, but too many of them are in denial of their disease and are unwilling to seek help. Whether it’s a self discovering intervention or interference by family or a friend, becoming aware is the first stride to beating anorexia. Once an anorexic agrees to help him or herself and beat the disease, the support of others creates a barrier and standing ground that strengthens recovery. Depending on the medical benefits a sufferer has, medical experts recommend the involvement of a nutritionist and a psychologist. In this case, a nutritionist helps ease the weight gaining process so that it is done healthfully and accurately. This is done by either following the diabetic food exchanges or supplementing with protein shakes and protein bars. Because anorexics are obsessed with weighing themselves compulsively, they are advised to get rid of their scales and unknowingly weigh in front of their doctors and nutritionists. On alternating weeks, anorexics should seek sessions with a therapist. During the sessions, those suffering with an eating disorder vent their daily struggles and accomplishments regarding recovery, as well as determine the factors that contributed to the overall development of their anorexia. An outpatient support team, like a nutritionist, therapist, and family, has been successful for many, but for some, anorexia has too strong of a hold on their life and more needs to be done.
    Across the United States and Canada, there are a hundred and fifty-eight residential treatment facilities, most commonly referred to as inpatient care, that only deal with eating disordered patients and the recovery from the disease. The difference between outpatient and inpatient effectiveness, is the twenty four hour surveillance of therapist and medical examiners that provide help, therapeutic and nutritional classes and activities, and tactics that pertain to abstaining from anorexic behavior and enforce beneficial recovery techniques. For many people struggling with anorexia, the combination of inpatient and outpatient care diminishes the disordered voice inside every sufferer’s head, and all that seems difficult to an anorexic, like social eating and occasional weight gain, seems to become easier with time. Although anorexia is an illness, there is no medication one can take to rid themselves from it; however there are some that help, along with many support groups.
    When working towards recovery, anorexics may become anxious and overwhelmed while they try to defer the voice. Medications that are subscribed to people who suffer with obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD, experience many characteristics that anorexics do. With this being said, medical physicians and past studies have used antidepressants to suppress anxiety that evolves during the recovery process. Another drug that seems to be providing a positive affect is one used to schizophrenia. “Quetiapine, one of the atypical antipsychotics which have become popular in the treatment of schizophrenia, has shown to help in the recovery from anorexia. In a study of nineteen patients published in International Journal of Eating Disorders, nine patients gained weight after ten weeks on the drug.” “Patients with anorexia have multiple symptoms including anxiety, depression, obsession and compulsions,” the researchers write. “Reduction in these symptoms might make weight gain easier. Patients with anorexia also have misperceptions of reality -- for example, believing they are fat when they are emaciated -- that are similar to the psychotic symptoms of people with schizophrenia” (Powers, 2007, p. 225). Between the medication prescribed and the recovery opportunities available, anorexia has a hard time lasting in those who are willing for recovery. Among the web, there are self-help and support group systems and websites, along with addresses and times to local group meetings.  As said previously, anorexia’s mortality rate is on the rise, but those who are suffering are not alone and the chances of beating this devastating disorder are greater each year.
    Anorexia is a habitual illness and a disorder that affects both the mind and the body. The numbers of people who suffer with the eating disorder are among the highest in both sexes and the numbers of those that lose their battle with it are elevating each year, as well. Anorexics suffer physically, while mentally trying to undertake the psychological voice that lowers their self esteem and self worth. Families and friends fall apart due to isolation and depression, ultimately struggling to seek help, which is aplenty in our society today. Once those who suffer from anorexia accept and acknowledge that they have a problem, depending on the seriousness of the disorder, recovery actions such as outpatient and inpatient care can be sought. Medications have proven to be effective with the onset of obsession and anxiety, while support groups and various websites welcome those who are living, struggling, beating, and recovering anorexia. Many people who struggle or have struggled with anorexia agree that beating the disorder is a life-long battle and a constant, daily struggle. Although it’s not contagious, anorexia nervosa is highly epidemic and spreading rapidly among males and females, young and old, from country to country.



Reference List
Aizenstein, H., Bailer, U. F., Carter, C., Frank, G. K., Kaye, W. H., et al. (2007). “Anorexic     brain set on planning, not pleasure”. American Journal of Psychiatry, 164(12). March     2008, from
    http://www.findcounseling.c... ng_not_pleasure_show_mris.html.
Brundage, K., Greenleaf, V., Grefe, L. (2006, September). “Results of eating disorders poll on     college campuses across the nation: Nearly 20% of students admit to an eating disorder”.     The National Eating Disorders Association. 1-3.
Halmi, K., Strober, M., Sunday, S. (November). “Perfectly Skinny”. American Journal of     Psychiatry. 163(11). 30 April, 2008.
“How advertisements affect body satisfaction in women”. (2006, October 27). Psychology of     Women Quarterly. May, 2008, from
    http://www.findcounseling.c... isfaction_in_women_viewers.html.
Powers, S. P. (2007, June). “Antipsychotic drug helps anorexics”. International Journal of
    Eating Disorders, 22(4). 223-230.
Van Sant, Peter. (2004, July 16). 48 Hours Investigates. New York; CBS Nightly News
    Broadcasting, Inc.
 

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Comment From: AmoFrmBako

Hi Jolie thanks for sharing your story. Have you ever heard of a band called Superchic[k] - they have a really great song called courage you should totally hear it! check out playlist.com and search superchick and you might find it and hear it. It will totally encourage you. Comment From: eaguilar

You are a super-smart girl, Jolie. God has wonderful things in store for you. Your research in your article was very thorough and very informative. Hopefully it can help others see this disease for what it truly is. And I am so happy that you are free from your eating disorder. I, too, suffered from the same thing for only about six months though back in 2001. I sought the help I needed and begin to eat healthy. It can definitely be beat! It just takes determination, willpower, and knowledge about the effects of the disease and what it does to you mentally, emotionally and physically. There is always hope on the other side of things. I believe the best is yet to come for you, girl! Way to go!

Comment From: lapetitemoi

I'm SO happy you came out to talk about this. Bakersfield needs more awareness. I've been struggling 14 years, myself.