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Mr. Fix it
Topics: humor, home repair, plumbing
Posted by heyitsdennis Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:32:42 PDT
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     Drip, drip, drip. I can hear you. Yes, I have to look every time I walk by the bathroom. Emptying that half full coffee can sitting under the toilet tank every morning and every evening. For a week now I have been too busy to fix it, at least, that is what I tell myself. In reality, I am dreading it!
   Have you ever known there was going to be a train wreck, but having no choice, you get on anyway? Well, that is me in a nut shell.
   It is necessary for me to approach things like this without being in a hurry, so taking my time is important. I am a firm believer in the principal that “If it can go wrong, it will” times 10!
  The first day I will buy the parts necessary to do the job and then look at them for a while. Trip number one; going through one of those “self help” aisles I inadvertently place the flex line beside the plastic bag instead of in it. Of course I don’t notice this until I get home. Trip number two; back to the store, the girl is waiting for me with it in her hand.
   Here is where I have to mention threads. Why can’t there be just one kind for everything?  Your choice is 3/8’s, 7/16’s, ½ inch, male or female, course, fine, or pipe threads, straight or angle. Let us not forget the metric stuff. A person cannot tell the difference with the naked eye. Boxes are marked you say? What about the nice people that take stuff out of the box leave it lying around then it gets put back in the wrong box. (Remember, “If it can go wrong”?)
    After a thorough disinfection of the toilet, the water lines are removed. Only a gallon of water on the floor, not bad! Wet hair and face will serve as a reminder to turn off the water, before you start!
   Regardless of the picture on the outside of the box, the valve on the inside has female threads instead of male. Trip number three; satisfied I now have all the parts needed I begin assembly. No leaks! But wait, I haven’t turned the water back on. Leaks! Here is where I have figured out that the leak is not coming from the gasket but from the flushing valve itself.
   Trip number four; there are many different types and colors of flushing valves, all with different prices. To avoid possible confusion I pick the one that most closely resembles the original.
    Everything is checked for tightness, water is gingerly turned on, mess is cleaned up, checking for leaks reveals nothing but dryness, wonderful dryness!  I leave the coffee can under there for two weeks, a testament to my lack of confidence.
   “No big deal” I say with a shrug. “Anybody can do it.”  All the while thinking to myself, next time I’m calling a plumber!
 

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Comment From: bclyde1970

Hey I know a great handyman for hire!