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Making a choice that breaks your heart
My situation is fairly unique but I am sure some people have gone through similar problems with their dogs but probably not two of them at once. I have three dogs, all who are my babies, two of them, Lulu and Quaid, were adopted and one, Peanut, was given to me. When I adopted Quaid and Lulu over five years ago, I was told that they were both two years old but when I took them to the vet they told me that ,at least, Quaid was almost seven years old and Lulu was not even close to two either. I was shocked and not thrilled but I loved them anyway. When I adopted them, I was told they were found together roaming the streets and needed to be adopted together, they definitely are attached to eachother and have been since day one. Both mutts-one part pug, part chihuahua and one part pug, part beagle. So related? Likely by mom or dad whichever was the pug. About eight months ago, I took Quaid to the vet for a growth that was on her leg and it ended up being cancer-mast cell tumor. If you don't know anything about mast cell tumors-They can change in size daily and even disappear, they affect the dogs allergies and can ulcerate their stomach, can affect different organs in their bodies, etc. She needed surgery so I had them do it and they removed it. The vet said that it was a stage 1 cancer, which had the best diagnosis out of three options, had the best prognosis and could be an isolated incident but to still check Quaid to see if she has any more. Within a month, there was another one. This time on her stomach and a much larger incision when they gave her surgery the second time. They went in a third time because she didn't have clean lines on the second surgery and had to fix that, which is normal because it can be hard to tell where cancer cells stop exactly and where the good cells begin. It was the same stage 1 cancer. I ask the vet what I should do. I don't want to put my dog through this monthly, I don't care about the money whether I have it or not, I just want her to have the best life and not be in pain. She said the surgeries are not that bad to do-they are generally on the surface not internal and that the anesthesia is fairly safe for them as long as it isn't an all the time thing. She said once or twice or so a year is fine. So, in the meantime, I find a lump on Lulu. I think oh, it is a bacterial infection or a spider bite or anything else because there is NO way I have two dogs with cancer especially at the same time. It is cancer and the same kind. I am in shock at this point because I can't even believe it. The vet says that she has never heard of someone having two dogs at the same time with cancer and she says the only thing she can think of is that they have to be related and it must be hereditary. The vet feels really bad for me and is continually apologizing maybe because I looked like I was about to fall apart and that was not far from the truth. I have them do surgery on Lulu and it is the same stage 1 cancer and everything. Since then, I have been checking them everyday and fast forward to now. I take Quaid to the vet last week because I found one on her and it is cancer. She has surgery on Friday, her fourth in eight months. This week, I take Lulu again because now she has two very apparent ones that I am sure are cancer, too. It is bad enough to have two dogs with cancer but to have them both have surgery at once is another thing. I want to do what is best for them and not what is best for me. I have been agonizing over this and what to do because this seems never ending. They both act fine when they are going through this but where does it stop? Like I said, I will spend whatever amount of money no matter the debt that it brings because I don't have it if it will prolong their lives and not make me lose them both at once but what is fair to them? When do you decide that enough is enough? My vet doesn't have the answer, she says all she can say is to remove them because not removing them is inevitably extremely painful and see what happens. I just am devastated that I have no help in this choice of what to do for them and that there is no definitive answer. 7 comments from 7 users
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posted by
ghostriter
on May 13, 2008 at 03:40 PM
The pain the dog experiences depends a lot upon the site of the surgery. It will be more painful if it is in a spot that moves often or gets rubbed a lot. You also have to be concerned about infection. If one of those "minor incision" sites becomes infected, the pain increases substantially. My parents spent thousands on their Maltese to have his hips repaired, on the chance that the dog's life would be better after the surgery. Unfortunately, the surgery made things worse and the poor dog can no longer walk at all. It is really sad to watch him since he was an active little dude before the surgery. My parents still adamantly refuse to put him down, even though their vet has recommended it, and he is in constant pain. They cannot bring themselves to part with him. I say, if the cost of the surgery is no object to you, and the dogs are healthy and enjoying life otherwise, take your cues from them. They cannot tell you in words, but if you are as close to these doggies as you seem, you will know when they are tired and have had enough. Their actions will tell you. And if your vet someday recommends, for their sake, to let them go to sleep, take the advice of the vet. They hate doing it, but they know when an animal is suffering beyond their help. Good luck. posted by
bakoblue
on May 13, 2008 at 04:37 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Cancer is actually fairly common among dogs, so as hard as it is to believe it can certainly happen in this way. The short answer to your question is that, in your heart, you'll know when it's time. One of the agreements we make when we take on pets, knowing that the odds are great that we will far outlive them, is that when the time comes we will do what is right for them. That act of selflessness is the thanks we provide to our pets for all of their acts of selflessness during their time with us. All of the times they forgave us for being busy instead of playing with them, for the noise and stress of family gatherings, for the adjustments we ask them to make when we move to a new location, add a child or get another pet. This part of the journey is the hardest part for us, but it is the one where they count on us the most. Listen with your heart, and you'll know when it's time. Take it from someone who's been there.
posted by
bakonative
on May 13, 2008 at 04:55 PM
Get a second opinion. Take the dogs to another vet and find out just to be sure this is really cancer. The reason I say this is many older dogs get fatty tumors - and it doesn't mean its cancer! posted by
Shwaine
on May 13, 2008 at 11:20 PM
I had a cat several years ago that I nursed through many illnesses until a tumor pressed on his spine and partially paralyzed him. As ghostriter said, his personality changed and the light just went out. His fighting spirit was not there. That was when I knew it was time. It was a very difficult decision (I still tear up a little thinking about it even), but I think the right one. It is perhaps the most difficult part about pet ownership. posted by
allRED
on May 14, 2008 at 05:38 AM
I feel your pain and wish the best for all of you My dogs are my kids I know when there sick or upset My wife always says how do you know so much about each of them Honey when I worked and you were a stay @ home mom you knew each of our kids and how they felt much more than I did Let your heart guide you and don't suffer with the pain if you have to put them down go out and find another soon after my oldest is 12 and youngest 2 each one is special amazing how each can be so different but when it comes to love they all LOVE ME the same Ron posted by
catpaw
on May 14, 2008 at 06:50 AM
I cannot add to the sincere excellent advice that's already posted. Accomodate your pets as much as you can, spend time with them, they will let you know in their own way when it is time to go. You love them. They know it. No pet would ask for more. posted by
KATTBC
on May 19, 2008 at 05:23 PM
I just wanted to say thanks to all who wrote a comment. They were excellent and needed by me to help me calm myself. Quaid just got through the last surgery friday. She is extremely bruised unlike the other surgeries, I think because of the sensitive area it is in. She is hanging in there and so is Lulu. I will keep you updated. Just because I think my vet is great and everyone I know goes to her, if anyone needs one, they should go to Dr. Bonham at Stockdale Vet Hospital. She is not only a great vet but very compassionate as well! I think the girls who work for her are great, too! They all really care about the animals.
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