Things that interest ME
I'll be blogging about things I find interesting. If they offend you, please feel free to just pass on by. If they interest you too, then I hope you'll enjoy it here.
A blog about Business & Finance.
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The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contes
Received in email today. Good for a chuckle or two to start your day. A tad risque in spots but not bad. _________________________________________________ ______________ Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. This year's winners: 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole. 5 comments from 5 users
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posted by
witterpitters
on Nov 30, 2007 at 09:35 AM
Nancy - Thanks for the AM giggle!!!
posted by
theColorNine
on Nov 30, 2007 at 01:33 PM
These are fabulous! Can't wait to pass them on. Thanks for sharing. posted by
NancyII
on Nov 30, 2007 at 06:18 PM
A new language we could all learn since we coin new words all the time... :-)
posted by
Katatak
on Nov 30, 2007 at 06:56 PM
Great post, Nancy. I love words so this was delightful.
posted by
robinislost
on Nov 30, 2007 at 10:35 PM
That is hilarious, Nancy! I love it. I imagine that lexicographers aren't too terribly happy with the list, but I think it's funny. I've always thought being a lexicographer would be one of the coolest jobs in the world, but I'm probably just crazy.
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