|
Best of Craigslist Choice Questioning Christianity TOO MUCH SERIOUSNESS...TIME FOR SOME FUN... THINGS TO PONDER... Local Talent George the Giant Hurt on set of "America's Got Talent." The Wisdom of Steven Wright. The Lighter Side of Anger Management. The Next Round of Survivor??? And the response... People Over 35ish Should Be Dead!!!!!!!! Funnies for Sunday. July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09
RSS 2.0![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Share! |
|
|
I PULLED THIS OFF OF CRAIGSLIST "BEST OF" LIST. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT KIND OF DEBATE THIS STIRS UP. IT EVEN HAS A REFERENCE TO RANDOMFACTOR IN IT...COULDN'T RESIST. BUT, BE SURE TO READ IT AT LEAST TWICE SO YOU DON'T MISS ANYTHING..I HAD TO.
In the following argument of nine premises, I will aim to convince you that Jesus of Nazareth was a fictional character, and not a real person. I do not intend to sway the beliefs of many of you, nor even budge them - I know this to be an impossibility, for if the religious mind is well-trained at anything, it is circumventing rational argument. I only intend to sow seeds of doubt, in the hopes that perhaps some of you will nurture them and let them grow. Here goes. I found this website the other day that I found hilarious. It's called notalwaysright.com and it deals with responses to idiot customers. I'm sure everyone can relate to some of the stories that are told, and there are some doozies that made me nearly spit up on the laptop. Here's a taste of what they have: 1. Caller: “I don’t care what your little book says, put my f***ing power on!” Me: “I can’t do that for you unless you pay your debt in full, sir.” Caller: “Why are you being a b**** about this? Just let it slide!” Me: “We’ve been letting it slide for months, sir. You now owe us in excess of a thousand dollars. Our rules are very clear: we are not to reconnect your power until you pay your debt.” Caller: “F*** you! I’m going to kill you! I’m going to come to your house and kill you!” Me: “The difference between you and me, sir, is that I know where YOU live.”
Caller: *click* 2. Customer: “Oh! Is this smoked salmon?” Me: “No ma’am, it’s actually sashimi, the Japanese way of serving fish, so it’s cleaned and served raw.” Customer: “Raw? That can’t be healthy! Are you sure you are allowed to serve raw fish? Someone could get sick!” Me: “I can assure you, raw salmon won’t get anyone sick. We have served this for years.” Customer: “But it’s raw! Someone will get sick! That’s what raw fish does - gets people sick!” Me: “Ma’am, the Japanese have been eating raw fish for centuries. I think it will be OK.” Customer: “Well, they also lost World War 2. I don’t think this is safe!” Me: “…”
There are lots more...
Location:
truth or consequences, nm
- What is the speed of dark? - When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? - Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's? - If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of - How come you never hear about gruntled employees? - What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? - After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? - If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? - What's another word for synonym? - If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? - When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs? - Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? - Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? - Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? - How can there be self-help groups? - Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? - Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? - If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? - Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? - Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo? - Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? - Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? - Where are Preparations A through G? - Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? - If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? - When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away? - When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? - What happened to the first 6 "ups"? - If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? - Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? - If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? - Hermits have no peer pressure. - Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.. - How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there? - What a nice night for an evening. - When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!" - Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? - I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. - I live on a one-way dead-end street. - It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. - Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out. - I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far." - I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained. - Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? - When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. - Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? - Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? - Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is? - Why does sour cream have an expiration date? - The light went out, but where to? - Why do banks charge you a "in-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? - Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra? - Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? - Why is the alphabet in that order? - If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? - If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? - Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? - When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!! - Do fish get cramps after eating? - How come abbreviated is such a long word? - Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"? - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? - Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? - Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? - If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? - Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor? - Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. - How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? - Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery? - If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? - Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? - Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? - Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? - Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? - Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? - Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? - Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? - What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? - Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? - Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? - Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? - I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? - Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse? - Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? - Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? - War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left. - I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? - Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? - Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? - Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? - Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? - Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? - Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? - If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? - Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. - How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? - Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? - Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? - Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? - Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? - Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? - A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station... - Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? - If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? - Does fuzzy logic tickle? - If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery? - I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. - How come you never hear about gruntled employees? - How much faith does it take to be an atheist? - I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. - If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is fog horn made out of? - If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? - If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box? - Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? - I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. - Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? - What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? - Ever wonder why they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? - How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food? -Why do they put locks on the doors of 24 hour stores? - What do they use to ship styrofoam? - Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow? - Why do they call them express lanes when during rush hour everything is stopped? - Why is abreviation such a long word? - If sour milk is used to make you gurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad? - Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container? - Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? - Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car? - Why call it a building if it's already been built? - Why do kamikazee pilots wear helments? - How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? - Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? - Does "virgin wool" come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet? - If the front of your car says "Dodge", do you really NEED a horn? - What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? - When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? - Does fuzzy logic tickle? - Do blind eskimoes heave seeing eye sled dogs? - Do they have reserved parking for non handicap people at the Special Olympics? - Why do they call it a TV set when you only get 1? - How come wrong numbers are never busy? - Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives? - If you shoot a mime, should you use a scilencer? - Why call it "take a dump" when you leave something behind? - What was the best thing before sliced bread? - Why call them bot water heaters if the water is already hot? - If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? - If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? - If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? - When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose? - Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive through bank machines? - If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan? - How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? - What's another word for Thesaurus? - What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit? - Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? - If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? - If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"? - Why do we say something 'is out of whack'? What's a whack? - If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? - Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns? - When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? - Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? - Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist? - Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? - Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? - If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? - Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? - I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language, could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? - Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? - Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? - If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? - Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? - What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men? - I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they're cramming for their final exam. - I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? - What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail men could look for them while they delivered the mail? - How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? - If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? - You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. - No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning. - Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? - Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. - If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? I just got home and was checking out TMZ.com (yes, a guilty pleasure) and came across some video of local entertainer George the Giant on America's Got Talent. Here'e TMZ's excerpt: Paramedics rushed to the L.A. set of "America's Got Talent" this weekend when a stunt involving a 7'3" giant went terribly wrong.
TMZ has obtained footage moments before the incident showing a contestant named George the Giant bound by chains and hung upside down from the rafters -- but that's where the tape cuts. Moments later, the footage starts again, and George can be seen being strapped into a gurney and wearing an oxygen mask while a team of medics tend to his well being. I attempted to call his cell phone to see if his wife answered and was unable to get a hold of anyone. Hope he's OK. Steven Wright is hilarious. Deadpan responses to die for. If you know who he his, then no exaplanation needed. If you don't, imagine it being said with no expression behind it. Read and think about it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature. I was an only child, eventually. I lost a button hole. I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths. I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit. A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it' In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone. I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time. I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all. I spilled spot remover on my dog...now he's gone. I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It's a bitch to fold it. I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier... I thought I'd put them in the same room and let them fight it out. I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right. My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out." Sponges grow in the ocean ... that *kills* me. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen. I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.' Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. My girlfriend asked me if I slept well. I said no, I made a couple mistakes. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night. I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. What's another word for Thesaurus? When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" You can't have everything. Where would you put it? If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it. I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time. The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job." I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded." When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. My school colors were clear. I'm not naked, I'm in the band. I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that." I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say,' Have you got anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, 'Extra medium.' I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.... When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said. I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I relaxed in front of the fire for the evening in ten minutes. I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done." I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store... with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store..." Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was... My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on hem. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. I have an answering machine in my car. It says "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour. I said, "the whole time". I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep" I said "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep." I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one -- it wasn't doing what I was doing. I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." On the other hand, you have different fingers. Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. I was Caesarian born...can't tell...except every time I leave a room, I go out through the window. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY IDEA'S THAT THIS POST SPAWNS!!!! LOL. When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I KNOW THIS IS A LONG ONE. THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, BUT KINDA MAKES SENSE. I'M NOT BASHING TEACHERS FOR WHAT THEY DO, BUT C'MON, YOU GOT TO SEE THE LOGIC IN THE NUMBERS. GOT IT FROM G. GORDON LIDDY'S WEBSITE. Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
Five businessmen and five businesswomen will be dropped into an elementary school classroom for 6 weeks. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.
DIANA’S COMMENT: IF A TEACHER ACTUALLY WROTE THE ABOVE, SHAME ON THEM. THE SYNTAX IS ALL WRONG! (Diana is one of Liddy's producers)
Wow! kids are graduating from high school as walking morons....cannot read or write, perform basic mathematics, find the United States on a globe, tell you when World War II started or even speak basic English.
Back to competition for a moment: Do you teachers realize how much damage is being done to children by eliminating competition in schools? In the real world we compete in sports, relationships, for jobs and promotions, businesses compete for customers, churches compete for members, actors compete for salaries and box office numbers, students compete for scholarships, siblings compete for attention and affection from their parents, athletes compete to make it to the Olympics and once they arrive they compete for medals. Radio hosts compete for ratings, listeners, affiliates and sponsors. Competition is part of life and it should be taught at school! Isn’t preparing children for the real world the objective of going to school in the first place? Teachers are the ones disabling our children by disallowing competition! Children need to know how to handle success and failure. Some schools have eliminated the prestigious HONOR ROLL because it makes the lazy unmotivated students feel stupid. Stop worrying about their feelings, they will get over it. Competition will actually improve a child’s self esteem! For God's sake bring back dodge ball.... Oops was that another bad word? Not dodge ball...God? You are a teacher, you chose that road. Do you tolerate poor service at a restaurant? Most people don’t, they either leave or don’t go back. Do you put up with a lying cheating spouse? Most people don’t. When something doesn’t suit you or you’re displeased with it, change it. Stop your whining, grumbling, poor me complaining. It seems as if society as a whole, so many of you teachers have a "sense of entitlement". Get over it...we live in the greatest country on earth and the opportunities are bountiful. It may not be perfect but you can achieve anything you want - just be prepared to work for it. THE REAL WORLD FOR THE REST OF US! If teachers actually worked the same number of weeks most people work, in some states their pay would exceed $67,000.00 Not bad, not bad at all!
Holidays & Time off-2005-2006 school year Month- # of days September-5th Labor Day-- 19th for professional development Sept-2 TOTAL ANNUAL WEEK DAYS OFF 83 DAYS OFF
365 days per year minus weekends = 104 week end days [Saturday & Sunday] Teacher income is higher than most people think, and the time off perks are exceptional! STOP THE WHINING! NON-TEACHERS Most people have only 10 holidays and if they’re lucky 2 weeks vacation If teachers in Maryland worked the same number of weeks most people worked they’re pay would exceed $67,824.00 per year. This should be fun... I pulled this off of G. Gordon Liddy's website. This is so true for today.
People Over 35 Should be Dead For all my surviving friends out there. According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Let's not mention the extreme risks we took hitchhiking. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. NO CELL PHONES!!!!! We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them. We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents? We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them. No emailing or instant messages! Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Tests were not adjusted for any reason. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. People under 30 are WIMPS! FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS, I'M SURE IT CAN GO ALONG WAY!
1
|