My guess is maybe LA. As you stated yourself, we don't need them here. We know were we are, we know were we ain't and we know how to get where we're going...

My favorite ones are telling people that are NOT from here, go West on California, then South on New Stine. Only people from here know that IT IS THE SAME STREET...

I blame Bakersfield's flat geography ( except for the east of course ) and the grid layout of its major streets. There's no major geographical features apart from the river bed to speak of, and the town is even divided into northwest, southwest, northeast, southeast in people's minds.

Once you learn the names of the big streets and which side of the river they're on, you'll find that a little overlay map of Bakersfield pops up in front of your mind's eye whenever directions is given, and it becomes easier.

I truely don't know how else to give directions in this town :-P

There's something to this...

I lived in Louisiana for about 4 years, in the middle of the Kisatchie National Forest. Trees on all sides. I was FOREVER lost in those woods. I moved back to Cali about 11 years ago. I knew where I was IMMEDIATELY!

When I was growing up in this valley in the 60's, you could actually see mountains on three sides. (Kids, ask your folks about life before smog) You could be in a totally unfamiliar area, but if you could see the mountains, you could figure out where you were.

As we aged, this skill stayed with us, even as our views of our surroundings faded. So now, even though we can't see the mountains to our west and aren't quite sure about the ones to the south, we can still orient ourselves. It's an odd talent, but we'll take it.

If you seriously want to buy a compass, try the Supply Sergeant @ 3530 N. Chester or any  sporting goods store (try camping supplies) and good luck!

A couple observations Rickldo --

I suspect you didn't have your internal compass at play in Lowsianna (I lived there too) ....... IOW, here in the Valley you just grow up knowing, if facing North, high Sierras to the Right. You can always see them (barring polution being too bad and depending on where you are). If you don't don't which way you are facing, you can at least orient yourself North and South by looking to the high Sierras. The mountains you speak of (here in the valley) are so disticintive in nature that you can orient yourself North and South by looking to the  "bowl" effect and one end will have effectively no side. You turn to the opposite side of that and you are facing South.

To your left will be the High Sierras and to the right the mtns between you and ocean. In Lowsianna, its flattern a pancake, generally, and as in all of Texas Gulf Coast Lowsianna, the trees are not big but thick --- and there are no point of references....

I used to laugh though, at the people I worked with in both Lowsianna (MM tongue in cheek) and Tejas, where they would be standing in the middle of a large refinery telling me where they went deer hunting (to kill a 100 pound on the hoof deer BTW) and they would be pointing the opposite directions for NOrth and South that I knew them to be. That is fact. So I wonder if its just those people are not as close to nature generally, or they don't have the large oreinting landmardks -- montanas__ that we do here......................

Rick -- I TRULY got lost one time. It was up in Hells Canyon area of Idyho Elk huntin and the snow came in and you couldn't see hand in front of face. I was afoot (so no critter's intel to draw on) and all I had was bearings my cousin gave me. And they were real general -- IOW Sawtooths to the right South, Wash to the North West, Cour de elene due North, etc. The thing he told me though (and I maintain to this day) he clearly said, rigs were UP creek. Well, to me that means aainst the flow. When all else failed, I went to creek and went UP. Well, he meant by UP the way the creek flowed. Never would admit it so I wore Elk Trackin Coller for poker for two nights. Thats OK.

Point is -- I got lost when I had absolutely no orienting mechanisms (visual or otherwise) in the dense snowstorm.

Very much like helo pilots in dust storms in desert combat or troops in dense jungle. This makes me wonder if we really have an  "internal infallable compass" or not............

You can buy compasses almost anywhere camping supplies are sold. Even the camping section of Target has compasses. Oh, and don't tell a stubborn jokester from around here to "go straight" on a road that curves, because they'll keep going straight right up to the curb. Or at least the ones I knew in college were that way.

Nobody ever told her it's the wrong way

Sounds like Sublime?'

SPAM CODE: PUKEV

Chico, one of the things that stuck with me from Louisiana is that every place I was going was either "a miiiile or two", or " a fur piece".

The woodboogers were forever testing my *exacting* nature by telling me , "Oh, it's just up the road and inta tha woods a bit". One mile? Mile and a half? How far is it? Funny folk. Most didn't have much, but would give you the shirt off their back.

I was thinking of the "overlay" theory. Not bad. It also helps if you know where the street names change. You CAN be at the corner of Brundage, Wible, Stockdale and Oak. Try explaining THAT to a recent transplant or visitors from out of town...

And don't forget having to translate when someone can't remember where the road changes names. So you have to remember roads as a hyphenate (e.g. California-New Stine-Stine, Coffee-Gosford, etc) just to know where they're talking about.

One thing I always do too, when out in the woods, is to constantly look  back from where I came. You would be amazed how different unfamiliar territory can look when you are approaching it from the opposite way (backtracking) so if you've already seen it from that perspective, it will look familiar the second time around.

Shwaine - good point.. I've been here almost a year full time and I still get some of the name changes mixed up.

Husband got me a GPS for Christmas! I can't read a map unless it is turned the direction I want to go; in the middle of my own house I can't tell you which way I'm facing; I have to have "left/right/u-turn" directions!!  I am directionally challenged!!!

Witters, the kids got me a TomTom for Christmas too.  Sometimes it's a little shy of getting me exactly where I want to go though.  I had to go to a business in Shafter and keyed in the address.  I went in on Lerdo Highway and as soon as I crossed the tracks, it said "You have reached your destination."   Very satisfied with himself he was.  I could find my way to Shafter thank you, now where is the building?  It was on the main drag so I guess ole Tom figured I could figure out the rest as it was only a couple of blocks away.  I ended up at a county building wandering around and had to get back in the car and keep looking.  In my defense, the building was unmarked and the number was tiny on the door that you DON'T use to enter the building.

I'll admit it was a blessing getting me to 99 in Sacramento coming from Placerville because in a strange city you have no idea where the on ramps are even if you have a great sense of direction.  I coulda been headed to Oregon without it.  It's downfall was that once on 99 it kept trying to take me to I-5 when I didn't want to go that way.  I kept it on just to frustrate  it. It kept saying "take the next off ramp" and I kept waiting for it to say "Take the next off ramp DAMMIT!"

I have a Garmin, and it works like a charm.

The TomTom does too, but when you get to within a block of your destination, it's done.  Kinda like a bus stop I guess.  The biggest asset to me like I mentioned, is the freeway situation.  They are GREAT in the Southland where there are so many freeways, on ramps, off ramps, splits etc.  It keeps me in the correct lane to get where I'm going.   I love it.

(edit)  The only thing I don't like is that the map updates are 49 bucks.  And that it didn't have Eagle Mountain on it.  After leaving Eagle Mt. we decided to go to the Tulare outlet mall and I didn't know if it was north or south on 99 so keying in Tulare it sent me in the right direction.  What a handy gadget to have.  The only problem is when I'm cruising along for miles and forget about it, he will speak and it startles me.  LOL.

RE the south.  I spent some time in TN and back there the roads follow the water courses and nothing is straight anything.  Everything is winding and forested so I had no clue which direction I was going on a cloudy day or at noon on a sunny day.  I lived in Murphrysboro the second time and my family lived in Portland (North of Nashville).  Every time I went to visit them I felt like I was driving toward Los Angles and when I went back to M'boro I felt like it was driving toward Fresno.  Never did get the "feel" and when I came back to CA I almost kissed the ground.  Hallelujah, I knew where I was!

NANCY:  I have a Magellin and it takes me door to door.  My door to my daughters' door in Carlsbad.  When I was coming home from UCLA medical, we missed the turn for the freeway and the damn thing rerouted us so we got back to where we wanted to be!!!!

They really are amazing things.  I like it that when you get off freeways for gas or to eat it shows you where the correct on ramp is to continue the trip.    When I first got it I had fun driving around town going the wrong way deliberately just to hear it try to get me back on track.  I hope it doesn't have a revenge chip in it.

I was in Daytona Beach and Orlando last year for a about 4 days and never got my bearings.  I blamed it on the ocean being on the "wrong" side of Terra firma.  Screwed up my north and south every time I hit the freeway.

Nancy, I know what you mean. I lived (more like existed) in Oregon for two years, and almost the entire time I was there, I felt like I was in The Land That Time Forgot (those rubes didn't even know what a car alarm was in 1991). The only time I felt like I was in the United States was when I was watching something like NBC News or the Braves on TBS. Local TV was 432nd rate: "Hi, I'm Mel Morgan for the Dangity Yangity Bait Shop, and..." Who the hell is Mel Morgan? I flew from Portland to San Diego, and felt like I had finally woke up from a bad dream. Home!