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bakonative - > -> Bakersfieldisms
Bakersfieldisms

I've seen this in my inbox several times, but thought I would post it - tell me which one makes you laugh, nod your head, and which is the best you think! For me, my favorite is highlighted in red!


A tribute to the quaint town of Bakersfield, California... loved by
some, but not understood by most.

You will park a mile away from an entrance just to have your car
parked under a tree.

Instead of people thinking you're "rich" for having leather seats,
they think you're stupid.

You laugh when people complain about 95 degree weather.


You're not worried about the big "California fires" cause by
the time it gets any closer, they close the Grapevine.

You've seen the "Stairway to Heaven" lights" while coming back
to Bako at night on the Grapevine. You know to call it "Bako" and

why we call it that.

You know what "White, Ming, Rosedale, Calloway, and Panama" mean.
When you go out of town & you see a sign saying "Union Ave" you lock

your car doors.

Rosedale is a world all its own.

Rosedale ALSO needs to be turned into a sitcom. And if you live in
Stockdale?  OC ain't got NOTHIN on us baby...except maybe an ocean.

You remember the TWO times in the last 25 years that it snowed in
Bakersfield, and you remember everything you did that snow day.

Everyone always says they're going to leave, but you know that if you
try, you get sucked right back in.

You take the "California Roll" to a whole new level.

You know where all the "haunted houses" are when Halloween comes
around.

You know what an "08er is", where "the Dale" is, and who
a "Daleon" is.

You know Trouts, and were not talking about the fish.

People who actually MADE it out of this city sit here & laugh
at these because they know they're TRUE

One of your friends owns a house on a spot where you had field parties
in high school.
(I actually live in a house where the sumps used to be!)

You know the ingredients in a George's Special, or may have had a
"Black and White" for lunch.

You get mad every time you see "Best of Times" when Taft wins at
the end.


You comment on how expensive Mexican food is in any other city in the
country and, more than that...how terrible it tastes everywhere else.

You have offered someone a "Dewar's Chew".

You know if you're not at Luigi's at exactly 10:30 Saturday morning
you're not getting a steak sandwich.

You claim to hate LA but go there at least every other month.

You have debated the merits of water skiing at Lake Ming versus
Buena Vista.

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a tri-tip
comes from...and when they don't believe you...you can't prove it as

no other butcher shop has them.

You think beans and salsa go with everything.

You think a restaurant is chintzy if it doesn't come with soup, salad,
spaghetti, and fries.

You think a red light is just a suggestion.

The best restaurants in town serve pickled tongue!

You think $600 a month for rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You know the pool is usually warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

Anywhere that takes longer than a 10 minute drive is way too far.

You think you're better than people from Fresno.

Someone mentions "the fair" and your thoughts turn to Cinnamon Buns,
First Christian Church caramel corn, and Boy Scout potatoes.

You have to "explain" to someone about Beach Park.

Someone from out of town talks about how foggy it is and you chuckle

& tell them, "Just wait."  

You drive just as fast on a foggy day as you did yesterday when it was
clear.

You swear that just last week there was an orchard where there is now
a whole development of houses.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Bakersfield....the rest will be just scratching their heads.
 

 
 

 

Posted in these Groups:
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posted by bakonative on Friday, May 30, 2008 at 05:33 PM
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13 comments from 11 users

1

posted by CatherineBaker on May 30, 2008 at 08:11 PM

You know you're from Bakersfield if someone tells you they own more than 5 guns, and you're not surprised.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you get excited when a new chain restaurant opens.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you walk into a convenience store on a Friday afternoon and everybody's walking out with 12 packs of Bud Light.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you think a fun way to spend a Saturday is to go look at model homes.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you can't go into Lowes or Home Depot without running into someone you know.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you make a yearly vow to have the flashiest Christmas lights on your block.

posted by catpaw on May 30, 2008 at 09:41 PM

You know you're from Bakersfield if someone says, "Virgin Mary apparition," and you ask "which one?"

You know you're from Bakersfield when everybody put on a clean t-shirt for a wedding.

You know you're from Bakersfield if you can't give directions because the street changes names three times.

You know you're from Bakersfield if half your neighbors still have xmas lights on the house in July.

 

posted by woofwoof on May 30, 2008 at 09:43 PM

The ten minute thing has now changed to about 20-30 minutes to get across town now.

posted by Rickldo on May 30, 2008 at 10:38 PM

I've moved out of town three or four times. I loved coming back to town and seeing how much it's grown.

You know you're from Bakersfield when you miss KUZZ while you're gone.

You know you're from Bakersfield when B' Dodgers means Bako, not Brooklyn...

YKYFBW you can remember riding your bike across town in 30 minutes, and you know you can't get there faster in your car now.

Baketown, Bako, B'Town, Bakerspatch all mean home ...

posted by Charlie on May 31, 2008 at 08:17 AM

You know you're a 66 year Bako native when you find yourself surrounded by an invasion of nuts, fruits, misfits, and illegal aliens. What a great place this used to be.

posted by jpatto on May 31, 2008 at 08:22 AM

With all the festivals Bako has it is missing only one, that being Bakersfield Redneck Convention. That would be a great festival and fitting as well.

posted by jpatto on May 31, 2008 at 08:25 AM

Addendum: although Bako is now nut, fruits, misfits, and illegal aliens, Charlie, the fact remains when you come to Bako theres something about it, you become a Redneck we do all have that in common

posted by NancyII on May 31, 2008 at 08:27 AM

Charlie, I couldn't agree more. 

posted by Maggiepoo on May 31, 2008 at 08:36 AM

Bakersfield wanted to be a "city" and it is a California minor "city" don`t like it...move...watch out for what you wish for because you just might get it, The 50`s where gone 50 years ago (10 in Bakersfield), gotta adapt...

posted by steveeswenson on May 31, 2008 at 08:43 AM

You guys have just made our town funny again. What great lines.

I love you no longer associate bridges or rivers with water, and you know you're from Bakersfield if  you get excited when a new chain restaurant opens.

And yet we are better than people from Fresno.

posted by NancyII on May 31, 2008 at 08:46 AM

You know you're in Bakersfield when it rains and the stores empty to watch it.

posted by AudreyB on May 31, 2008 at 08:48 AM

Yeah Nancy  ;-)

We're the only people who run outside when it rains.

posted by motopoet on May 31, 2008 at 02:44 PM

You know you're in Bakersfield when the Buck Owens rack is full and the John Denver rack is empty

You know you're in Denver when the John Denver rack is full and the Buck Owens rack is empty

You know you're in Bakersfield when some "foriegner" bags on the city and you're ready to fight them!

You know you're in Bakersfield when you cant wait to go to the "meet n greet" to hang out with the people who drive you crazy on the blogsite!

Thanx for all the fun and frustration everybody!

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