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Humor for the day
I haven't seen this one before, so I thought I'd share! Why did the chicken cross the road ? & nbsp; BARACK OBAMA:
& nbsp; The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
& nbsp; JOHN McCAIN:
& nbsp; My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
& nbsp; HILLARY CLINTON:
& nbsp; When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.......
& nbsp; DR. PHIL:
& nbsp; The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
& nbsp; OPRAH:
& nbsp; Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
& nbsp; GEORGE W. BUSH:
& nbsp; We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
& nbsp; COLIN POWELL:
& nbsp; Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
& nbsp; ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
& nbsp; We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
& nbsp; JOHN KERRY:
& nbsp; Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
& nbsp; NANCY GRACE:
& nbsp; That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
& nbsp; PAT BUCHANAN:
& nbsp; To steal the job from a decent, hardworking American.
& nbsp; MARTHA STEWART:
& nbsp; No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
& nbsp; DR SEUSS:
& nbsp; Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
& nbsp; ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
& nbsp; To die in the rain. Alone.
& nbsp; GRANDPA:
& nbsp; In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
& nbsp; BARBARA WALTERS:
& nbsp; Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
& nbsp; ARISTOTLE:
& nbsp; It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
& nbsp; JOHN LENNON:
& nbsp; Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
& nbsp; BILL GATES:
& nbsp; I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&;^(C%
........reboot.
& nbsp; ALBERT EINSTEIN:
& nbsp; Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
& nbsp; BILL CLINTON:
& nbsp; I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
& nbsp; AL GORE:
& nbsp; I invented the chicken!
& nbsp; COLONEL SANDERS:
& nbsp; Did I miss one?
& nbsp; DICK CHENEY:
& nbsp; Where's my gun?
& nbsp; AL SHARPTON:
& nbsp; Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!
11 comments from 7 users
1
posted by
refiguy
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:24 PM
BAKERSFIELD BLOGGERS : & nbsp; Because he was tired of being spell-checked posted by
refiguy
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:27 PM
BAKO: FUNNY STUFF. DID YOU GET THIS IN AN E-MAIL....IF SO. PLEASE SEND IT TO ME ....
THANKS posted by
Wayfarer
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:29 PM
My niece was telling me about a comment on Face Book about some one "Who wanted to live in a world were chickens were free to cross the road without having there motives questioned. posted by
randomfactor
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:44 PM
Chickens crossing the road is a beautiful thing in and of itself. In fact, it is true poultry in motion. posted by
Tiffanilynn
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:47 PM
this was too funny. lol. posted by
bakonative
on Jun 17, 2008 at 04:57 PM
Amen Refiguy - spell check and gay marriages have been overwhelming on these blogs! Go to my profile and email me your addy and I'll send it from my home email, or maybe you can clip and paste the above in your own email? posted by
soxford
on Jun 17, 2008 at 05:13 PM
Can I add another joke: Two young teenagers are discussing sex: One named Tom tells his friend Mike about seeing his Mom and Dad naked and performing the act. Anyway, his friend Mike asks, "Well what did you do?" So Tom said, "I was really embarrased. I will never go on that web site again." posted by
witterpitters
on Jun 17, 2008 at 05:29 PM
An old East Texas farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From posted by
witterpitters
on Jun 17, 2008 at 05:30 PM
Farmer probably owned the chickens who crossed the road to get away from the mule!!! posted by
bakonative
on Jun 17, 2008 at 11:59 PM
Thanks for the additional jokes ! posted by
soxford
on Jun 18, 2008 at 04:26 PM
Witterpitters: Thanks for good joke. That was downright hilarious as they say in Texas. Here is another one: A little girl went to the barber shop with her dad. She was eating a snack cake and so the barber said: Honey you are going to get hair on your Twinkie. The little girl said, Yeah, and I am going to get boobs too.I just cracked up when I saw this joke. A fellow worker sent it to me. Wanted to share this with everybody.
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