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bakonative - > -> Audrey - thought you might like this joke!
Audrey - thought you might like this joke!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round in the break room. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am.

He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay.

She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed!

Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. 
She smiled and said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand. 
 
By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant & didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late! 
 
This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up.

This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play; it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple of beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth.

Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his "you-know-what" was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed and if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.

Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"

She said, "Then I'm fifteen minutes late."

 
 
 
 

 
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posted by bakonative on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 10:52 PM
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8 comments from 5 users

1

posted by bakonative on Aug 5, 2009 at 10:59 PM

It's JOKE time everyone! Let's go!

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posted by sagefever on Aug 6, 2009 at 09:26 AM

:-)

Pretty funny!

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posted by mrsearnhardt88 on Aug 6, 2009 at 10:51 AM

 

 

Love it!!!  Here we go again with the male vs. female...  We are women hear us roar!

 

DL tonight ladies?  I am feeling pretty confident that I can go finally :)

 

 

 

Where did I put my tin foil hat???

 

 

 

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posted by sagefever on Aug 6, 2009 at 11:01 AM

LOL~ Maybe I'll open up a  enterprise outside...fasionable tin foil hats...

I could make,not a million ,but maybe a dollar? I'd better use cheap tin foil....

 

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posted by mrsearnhardt88 on Aug 6, 2009 at 11:16 AM

 

 Dollar store!!!

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posted by AudreyB on Aug 6, 2009 at 02:22 PM

LOL Bakonative.    Here's a few more for you.  Should we warn Ling that he may want to hide again.

I'm not responsible for these.  I found them on the internet.

Male or Female

From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.

The best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE: Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

MAGIC 8 BALL: Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually
indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

CRITIC: Female, What, this needs to be explained?

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posted by mrsearnhardt88 on Aug 6, 2009 at 03:51 PM

 

 

 

Hilarious Audrey! 

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posted by sys_mom on Aug 6, 2009 at 06:55 PM

I love jokes.  I heard a joke earlier this week that was funny.   It is rather long so I pasted it into an older blog I never published until today.    http://people.bakersfield.c...   

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