I've always been a loser at using a tuner.  So when I became frustrated with this 99 cent Conservarte guitar pitch pipe of mine, I used it as an harmonica.  I'll let you be the judge as to whether its a winner or a loser when it comes to musical accompaniment. 

I'm doing fine in most areas of my life.  But when it comes to music, I'm on a losing streak.  And it feels pretty damn awful, and pretty damn good at the same time. 

Sure, I had a cameo on a top hit music video that was ultimately nominated for Groundbreaking Music Video of the Year at the 2202 MTV Video Music Awards, but I wasn't even performing music, just sitting in front of Starbucks on 19th and J Streets in Sacramento with my guitar, listening to Short Skirt/Long Jacket, while casually offering an impromptu mini-critique of Cake's new song from a psychological point of view. 

Sure, I've had rock critic Al Barger dub one of my songs (Neil Young, Have you Forgotten), the number 8 best record of 2006, but that was 2006.  And I had a song make the top 30 mp3 downloads, landing at #21 in December of 2005 at mp3000.net, but that was in 2005, and with that song, Black Santa, I had lots of help from rap artist Michael C.  Furthermore, it took 15 years for this song to reach, and subsequently climb even this relatively obscure chart. 

And yes, I had a little national airplay and lots of local airplay in 2004, thanks to local talk show hosts Ralph Bailey and Jaz McKay, and I'm eternally grateful to these risk-takers for all the props,  but that was in 2004. 

And yes, I've had heavy downloads on a couple of songs in 2007----When the Bee Gees were 3, and Playin' Politics with the Dixie Chicks, but has that translated to anything else but a few thousand free downloads?  No. 

For the most part, in 2007, when it comes to my music, I've not only been a loser, but I've rightfully gained the self-appointed title of King of Losers. 

I wrote and recorded this song on Saturday night, when I should have been out performing in front of devoted fans, of which I have few, if any.  To find success in this life, you first have to know what it's like to lose. 

I'd like to introduce Dr BLT's One Man "Banned"

lead vocals: Dr BLT
harmony vocals: Dr BLT
rhythm guitar: Dr BLT
lead guitar solo: Dr BLT
guitar pitch pipe (tuner): Dr BLT

In other words, we're a triio: Me, Myself and I.  Sometimes we even have group therapy together, if we don't have too many other patients to see. 


King of Losers
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2007

I'm the king of losers
I'm the king
of nothin' left to gain
I'm the king of losers
I'm the king of
All I feel is pain

every time I set myself
up to win
my whole world comes crashin' in
every time I set myself up to lose
I succeed
and then I sing the blues

you tell me
I'm a shrink
I should watch what I think
and my self-esteem
should be high as the sky
but my job as a shrink
and as a singer
is to be real
and tell you
exactly how I feel

every time I set myself
up to win
my whole world comes crashin' in
every time I set myself up to lose
I succeed
and then I sing the blues

I'm the king of losers...