Let's face it.  We live in a dysfunctional society, and we all come from dysfunctional families.  How is that a recipe for adulthood and maturity?  From a Freudian perspective, most of us become fixated at very early phases of development.  Some become orally fixated. 

For male, orally fixated adult children this could lead to a fixation upon women's breasts.  For both orally fixated men and women, this could lead to smoking, overeating, or alcoholism.  It could reveal itself in how one uses one's mouth. This could manifest itself in one's sexual activity preferences, or how one uses his/her mouth for communication purposes: spewing out sacastic vitriol, or "shutting up," altogether---remaining silent as a passive way of resisting and retaliating against orally fixated aggressors.  Personality-wise, an orally fixated individual is one who is overly needy and dependent in relationships.  They tend to sap the energy out of adult children who assume the caretaker, parental role in a relationship (the flip side of dependency, in which needs are attempted to be met vicariously). 

Then there is always anal fixation, in which, from a Freudian point of view, one is fixated at the anal stage of development.  This generally manifests itself in either anal retentive, or obsessive-compulsive behavior, or the antithesis of such: anal-expulsive behavior such as keeping one's room extraordinary messy.  

Growing up to become an adult child is generally nothing to be proud of.  Sometimes it requires intensive psychological treatment.  But there is one aspect of childhood that one should never lose.  In fact, retaining this aspect of childhood can actually help a person refrain from regressing or remaining in a developmentally fixated state. 

I'm talking about retaining a sense of wonder, playfulness and creative imagination.  From the moment we begin to progress into adulthood (and in some cases, well before), we are discouraged from exercising our individual and collective imaginations.  We are encouraged to become conforming individuals who fit into a particular mold.  As a result, the only critical thinking we engage in is destructive cynicism (a cynacism I refer to as the cyanide of cynicism) and the only way avoid exercising our creative minds entirely. 

Sometimes psychotherapy is not enough to help us grow up in terms of moving beyond developmental fixations.  Since most mortal role models end up being adult children themselves, I turn to eternal role models such as Christ himself, who did not remain in the cradle, and moved rapidly out of the stable, becoming a stable adult who ultimately became the cradle of Western civilization. 

The next time somebody tells you to grow up, get in touch with that playful, creative, innovative aspect of your childhood.  That is the side of you that should never grow up.  That side of you will help you laugh when you need comic relief.  It will help you to put everything in perspective.  It will help you come up with creative solutions for moving beyond your oral or anal fixation so that you enter the adult world of mature, fulfilling relationships.