I have amnesia or alzheimers....I can't remember which. ; )

I dunno how old you are Doc, but my impression is that you're a little young to worry about alzheimers. According to the latest info, an active mind will delay the onset of the disease. I think the first study was of some  nuns, (and this study is old so there are probably newer better studies), that showed those that read a lot had less of a chance of getting the disease. Since you are into music and blogging, and are an academic, you would fit the bill of a less likely victim.

I'm having issues with memory and eyesight also. But those things start happening as you approach 50 fairly naturally.

You should go see a neurologist, and don't be afraid to tell him your fears. Tell him you'd just as soon get everything checked out, if not just for medical diagnosis, but for peace of mind.

Once your mind is convinced that there is nothing seriously wrong with you, you'll probably stop noticing small changes in your eyesight and your memory.  Listen to me try to tell a psychologist about how the mind deceives! LOL

But by all means, go to the neurologist. Your health is the most valuable thing you have....uhhhh....except for your wife that is!

Antiex, I think BLT's publishing, not writing, this journal.  Or perhaps fictionalizing for instructional effect.

"Fictionalizing for instructional effect" is the perfect way to characterize this blog thread series, random.   Mighty perceptive of you.

Uhhhh....I knew that....yeah that's the ticket....My response was...uh ....fictional too. Yeah.....that's it. Carry on.

Did I tell you I'm dating Morgan Fairchild?

Too funny guys...LOL

well donald.

 

it's good to see that you are keeping up on your studies.  it seems as though you have learned a lot about how the brain operates and are entertaining several possible etiologies for your symptoms.  it seems as though you've had several "bad bumps to the head."  the degree of your trauma may be due to inertial forces which is caused by the direction of the motion and the intensity when you "bumped" your head.  the range of injuries caused by inertial forces may be anywhere from mild concussions to subdural hematomas and diffuse axonal injuries (dai), which are much more intense.  your predictions may be correct as this may have caused some neurological damage to your frontal and/or temporal lobes.  i encourage you to continue your quest to find the truth and possibly a fmri or a pet scan may assist you in finding your answers.

 

the greek philosopher aristotle defines our questioning of life's mysteries in four categories: the fact, the reason why, if something is, what something is.  It seems as though you have progressed from inquiring if something is there and what something is to the reason why, but have not yet accepted it as the fact.

hang in there, buddy.

jbgage
a.k.a. aristotle (i'm coming back with jesus.  we've got the cure to all worldly disease)

ps - dr. blt... i'm a bloggin', but i'm not a rollin'.  what's up with the tunes?

Donald,
Much to your own surprise, I want to point out an observation... you started off your blog on a positive note! You mention that you still have your semantic memory skills! I am wondering if this is a reflection (or unconscious act) of the hope you find in yourself. It also appears that your episodic memory is still in place as well. Your mention of self produced neuroticism is simply normal psychosomatic symptoms that many individuals with health concerns inflict upon themselves. You also seem to be going through some stages of grief...you seem to be struggling with the conflicting processes of acceptance and denial. Finding a balance between answers derived from medicine (MRI/PET) and answers found within the mind (acceptance, positive self talk, etc) may be difficult at first. Are you using all your support people to the best of THEIR ability...you may need to learn to rely on others a bit more as they learn to help you in the best way they have been trained or know how. Lastly, if you may be shielding your deepest thoughts from  loved ones (I am sure you are concerned that they are already overwhelmed and worried), I would advise you to keep up the blog journaling as you have done. You never know what type of stressors and issues are worked out after a bit of contemplation and ideas shared through writing. Good luck.
TJB NeuroPsych of Learning

I am glad to see that you have opened yourself up to the possibilities that science have to offer you.  I think it is always in a patient's best interest to view a diagnosis with SOME skepticism, at least enough to explore different types of treatments for the condition.  However, please remember that a lot of research has led the field of medicine to it's notion of how to diagnose diseases such as Alzheimer's.  Having said that, I must caution you about hoping there is a lesion that is impairing your functioning.  First, the methods of scanning available to practitioners are fairly precise in distinguishing lesions or other abnormalities of the brain.  Second, lesion theory has made exceptional contributions to neuropsychology, but more than anything, it has proven that the brain does not operate using exclusive or isolated pathways.  This has mostly been disproven through studies of patients with brain lesions in specific areas where one might predict a loss of something specific like speech.  Yet, studies of patients have show that patients can recover functioning despite damage to specific areas, thus, it is not likely that any one area or pathway is responsible for sp[ecific duties.  Unfortunately, your speech and visual symptoms may both be the results of Alzheimer's dementia.  AD can affect a person's semantic memory and attention.  What this means is that your receptive and expressive language can be the result of an underlying impairment in semantic memory, since language function is connected to this type of memory.  Research has also shown that patients with AD have difficulty in shifting attention between tasks.  Depending on the types of visual symptoms you have, the result could be what you are calling "problems with your vision."  I again encourage you to embrace this diagnosis rather than deny it, and take your treatment into your own hands by seeking out different methods of coping and treatment for the disease.  There may be a life-changing person or treatment out there for you.

Ayn Rand Reader

" I think BLT's publishing, not writing, this journal. Or perhaps fictionalizing for instructional effect."

""Fictionalizing for instructional effect" is the perfect way to characterize this blog thread series, random. Mighty perceptive of you."

I think some are still missing the boat here. Did you not read the caption?   And who is Donald?

Hello,

I am glad to hear that you are still remembering and that every now and then you are lucid; this is common for patients like yourself.  It is also very common to be afraid and confused when hit with a life changing disease.  In my opinion, it would be best if you accept the fact that you more than likely have Alzheimer's.  This way  you can better help yourself and have those who love you learn how to help you as well.  MRI's are quite accurate in detecting lesions on the brain (among other things), so you should be speaking to your doctors about how you can help yourself and possibly taking medications( or natural, not man made, holistic approaches)  to stop the progression of the lesions you do have now, if possible.  Share your concerns and beliefs with your doctor to ensure better care and to better help yourself understand and accept your diagnosis.  Again, you do what you can and God will do the rest ...for He is strong when we are weak.  As Epictetus, a philosopher of stoicism, once said, "Some things are up to us and some things are not up to us.  Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions-in short, whatever is our own doing.  Our bodies are not up to us, illnesses...whatever is not our own doing".  So the outcome, although I do wish you the best, is not actually in your power.  I believe in JOY (putting Jesus first, others next, and yourself last)a positive attitude, faith, hope, etc. will help you more than you can imagine.  Not easy to do, I know, but what do you have to lose?  Peace ;-)

 

 

Well, I was glad to hear that you and your wife are getting out and enjoying life to some extent. You seem to be reading up and studying quite a bit on the disease and this is very impressive. You come across as so articulate and brave about you rsituation and your life. I wish you luck and strength, and hope that you find comfort in your friends, family and taking the active role in researching your disease.

It sounds like life is treating you well and that you have a very positive outlook on things. As the philosopher Thomas Paine, I would encourage you to not allow your disease to hold you captive. Be free and continue to do the things you rightfully are deservant of. Let no one or no thing lead you astray. Stay true to your heart and find what makes you truly happy.