So you couldn't write songs adequately until divorcing yourself from church and political party?  Funny, some great songs have been written by those who finally found religious faith.

Michael Stipe of REM eventually came out as a gay man.  So if you REALLY want to find your inner minstrel . . . 

Profound.  I fit that description more than I like to admit. Thanks BLT.

I enjoyed your sharing those inner feelings, BLT.  Thanks.

Since you're reflecting upon spirituality, you might enjoy these ecumenical thoughts of mine:

Religion Versus Spirituality: Different Yet Potentially Synergistic  http://people.bakersfield.c...

The Necessary Uniqueness of Our Spiritual Paths  http://people.bakersfield.c...

When Spirituality Leaves a Church, Spiritual People Follow   http://people.bakersfield.c...

You're welcome Ray.  Now to address the first comment:

So you couldn't write songs adequately until divorcing yourself from church and political party?  Funny, some great songs have been written by those who finally found religious faith.

I wouldn't call it divorce, and I wouldn't say that I wasn't able to "write songs adequately," until I realized the profound bondage that I was under.  Good songs, even great songs can be written both while somebody is oppressed, and once somebody is free.  That's the great thing about music, no matter what you're going through, you can find a way to express it. 

I agree that some great songs have been written by those who finally found religious faith.  But if finding "religious faith," means losing yourself, then it is not a geniune faith that one has found.  I found what I believe to be true faith by leaving behind the "religiousity" or legalistic pseudo aspects of what I once believed to be true. 

In terms of politics, rather than divorcing or abandoning my party of affiliation, I simply discovered that for me, the whole arena of politics was poisonous.  Some may find a way to use politics as a tool for making the world a better place, but I find that in most cases, politics leave the world a worse place, and create sharp divisions between folks who share the greatest gift of all--that of humanity. 

Michael Stipe of REM eventually came out as a gay man.  So if you REALLY want to find your inner minstrel . . . 

In my case, I felt no need to leave behind my heterosexuality.  It was a particular brand of religiousity that was keeping me imprisoned.  You seem to be implying that I threw out the baby with the bathwater.  But that's not the case.  I treasure my faith now more than ever.  It was my salvation from religion. 

PS: Thanks, ApolloDawn, I appreciate the links and I'm looking forward to checking them out.   

You're welcome, BLT.  I am not promoting any brand of faith, only sharing some thoughts that anyone can put to use.  :)

No problem, I agree with much of what you've posted.  It parallels my own experience in many respects.   I'm not really taking in or adopting anything new in the way of ideology or beliefs these days, just purifying my mind of all of the harmful religious and political "food" I've swallowed over the years.    

I also want to make it clear that we, as a culture, are pretty much stuck with politics as an imperfect way of expressing our values, and beliefs and attempting to shape our society.  That sucks because politics are so polluted with partisanship, us vs. them mentality, and frankly, hate.  Some may be able to work within the existing political system and be effective in producing positive change within it.  I've decided that this is not where I'm designed to make a difference or to have an influence.  I'd rather touch people's hearts than change their minds or shape their behavior. 

"I'm not really taking in or adopting anything new in the way of ideology or beliefs these days, just purifying my mind of all of the harmful religious and political "food" I've swallowed over the years."

Kudos to you.  I didn't think you had changed or given up your faith itself, which as I remember, is Christian.  From time to time, however, a spiritual spring cleaning can do wonders; it's easy to slowly grow attached to the worldly circumstances (and ambitions) that ostensibly claim to be associated with a faith, and yet lose the inward focus that I believe spirituality and spiritual growth is about.

"I'd rather touch people's hearts than change their minds or shape their behavior."

Since the Christian faith is focused on the intentions of the heart and not on outwardly coerced behavior, I would say that you have come closer to Christ as a result of this reflection.

Thanks, ApolloDawn, it's great that somebody else can relate to my own personal journey of faith. 

Sorry I dropped out in the midst of this discussion but I had to drive a family friend to the train station in Riverside (2 and a half hours, round trip) right after I saw your blog.

I spent almost a full 24 hours on Thursday reading a book by Frank Schaeffer titled, "Crazy For God."  It's a memoire of spellbinding honesty, written by the son of the man who introduced the religious right to the Republican Party.  I make extra careful and special note that this book is a memoire and not a tell-all body slamming story designed to mortify the religious right.  Frank Schaeffer's book is the exact right book to read to find a sense of comfort and closure with one's spirituality.  He was born and raised in the home of two of the most prominent fundamentalist Christians our generation has known and his journey is instructive to anyone who has had a similar experience with religion.  Frank Schaeffer found a way to live with doubt, but he had to "divorce" himself from the religion of his parents (Francis and Edith Schaeffer) to find exactly what you, BLT, describe - freedom.  Freedom to love as your heart dictates.

You know me. I drew the line and started calling myself an atheist. But listen up for a moment. Frank Schaeffer made me cry and wish I had held the door open to spirituality a little longer. He is one of two people that have reached me in that way. Andrew Sullivan was the other and he did it with his book, The Conservative Soul: How We Lost It, How to Get It Back.  

I may be the only avowed atheist in the world who thinks religion and spirituality are a GOOD thing and I owe that sense of religion first to Sullivan and now to Frank Schaeffer.  They spoke to my heart like no fundamentalist ever could. 

BLT, you have posted such a pleasantly contemplative topic, only to see it buried by the poisonous energy that you note with dismay in your first comment back.  So, I will take it upon myself to bump it back up.

Ray, I have said obliquely to some religious folk that many atheists aren't as much anti-religion as they are put off (and sometimes actually endangered) by the dark and evil faces that some people give to the faiths that they claim to represent.  I am happy that you can see past that and recognize the true good that can take shape in religion and spirituality.

That good can take religious forms, of course, does not mean that it must, or can only manifest itself in religious guises.  And it certainly is not true that goodness can only come from non-religious origins.

The more who are grateful for goodness itself, in any of its expressions, the better.  But the quest for goodness itself is sometimes a journey where the traveler will face the fears that some of their most long-held concepts of "goodness" might need to be adjusted.

Thank you.

Thanks Ray and ApolloDawn for your thoughtful comments.  There's always going to be a little poison in the stream, ApolloDawn.  I don't think savvydude meant any harm.  I simply think he doesn't understand the types of experiences that keep me imprisioned and what it took for me to begin to find freedom from that sort of religious and political bondage I was caught up in.  My faith has grown, but I had to lose something, and let go of that control before I was able to gain something deeper and something containing more substance.  I still have a long, long way to go on my journey, but it was necessary to leave a few things behind in order to continue forging ahead.

My faith has grown, but I had to lose something, 

just let it go, let his love touch you where it hurts.

-Dr. BLT

And I find that I have to lose that "something" over and over again as it threatens to take a hold of my heart everyday, montfred.  Once again, it's not the faith I have to lose, but religion, in it's superficial, oppressive form, the enemy of faith.  The partisan politics, like heartless, cold, guilt-oriented, hell-fire-and-brimstone, lifeless forms of religion, are thistles that crush life and threaten to kill all prospects of a bumper crop went harvest time arrives.  I'm sure we've all heard stories of conversion to the tune of "Just as I am," and I'm not here to cast doubt on any of those stories of conversion, mine conversion just happened to be accompanied by R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion.  It was my altar call, and I answered it in the form of another song. 

BnR

You've reached a higher plane.  ;-)

The same thing happens when a person takes a hiatus from the blogs.  Then, when  they come back,  they can't believe all the pettiness, the childish bickering, the inanity of it all.

At first I thought your transformation into a non relgious,  non polical person was a ruse, now I starting to think you're on to something good.

Mea culpa, BLT!  :)  I didn't mean to implicate any one person who commented in your page, though in context of what you were replying to, I can see how it could read that way.

Actually, I meant that your post was getting buried by the hundreds of comments on the ten or more toxic posts about the Peace Prize, and I thought your post needed some help being bumped back up.

You're not losing your religion; you're finding the better fit for your soul.  I never thought that you were at heart the partisan that I used to see on the outside sometimes.  What you are transforming into is closer to the real you.

Thanks for the encouragement, Audrey, and I do need encouragement, because I believe that possessing a partisan spirit isn't something that's easy to shake. 

Thanks for clarifying that for me, ApolloDawn.  That partisan you used to see on the outside was actually me, and is, actually me, to a degree, on the inside. 

I was once a partisan, and there is still a partisan in me.  It's something I now recognize as a liability, and not an asset.  I'm trying to grow as a person and striving, even in weakness, to rise above that partisan spirit in me.  Each day is a new struggle, or rather, a challenge, to rise above it, and reach out to those who share different views than those of my own. 

Just keep working on that last part, and the partisan will disappear by itself.  :)

Edit:  I would say that if one of your purposes for this was to reach out to people with different views, you have succeeded admirably, judging by who all came by to comment favorably.

Well, you've also reached back, ApolloDawn, as well as the rest of you who have graciously shared encouraging and thoughtful comments here, and for that, I am extremely grateful!

BNR:  I see a slight parallel here between you and Sam Heath.  Sam, as you know, often confirms that religiosity and spirituality are not necessarily synonymous.  I hope he doesn't mind my paraphrasing what I believe he has written a number of times. 

May your journey be fulfilling.

It's easy to make the mistake of skimming through Sam's writings, and miss the real jewels hidden inside to be discovered.

AD:  I see you have divined the same message.  Of course you have.  Reading the essays -- really reading them -- has the effect of going fishing for a couple of fish but coming back with a whole string.