a relative of mine is writing a story about "rooms without walls" - backyards that are like retreats, getaways, etc, i would think.  she interviewed a family member, who gave the following lecture. once his (rightful) indignation wore off, he gave many helpful tips for the budding gardener... she forwarded this in email to me, since she can't use much of it. hope you find some intriguing ideas here, as i did.

I get a real pain when I hear people talk of backyard retreats. No one wants to talk about
the poor - the no backyard with a dog running around - or admit there's such a problem as
poverty. We need to recognize the predominant number of people who can't have an oasis.
Here it's not too different than in Mexico, where you have a have-have not classist society.
We have community service workers - not city or county workers- doing the maintenance work
fo the wealthy, just striving to survive. They didn't choose to live that way - they are
struggling to feed their families.
It's a pathetic comment on how the wealthy use their money, to feather their own nests. On
the other hand, they are providing jobs. Maybe the point is that I wish America could be
more equal, with less difference between rich and poor, or let the rich keep what they got,
but help bring the poor along, too - child care, health care, access to Aera Park and other
remote wealthy regions. It was a big deal when Bank of America went in on Brundage
so people could actually bank in their own neighborhoods. Do people in Haggin Oaks have to
worry about easily accessible fresh food and services?
What of those who can't create a Shangri La in their backyards? Those who don't have to raise
a finger, just say, I saw something in a magazine I like, then call a friend of a friend
to do the work? - That's not how it is for most people.
I built some steps to my citrus trees. Someone said it looked "old country" - they're
lacking in the perfectness you'd see in the beautiful magazines like Sunset, that
studied effort to make a rustic look. Those stairs just happened through found materials.
You demolish a brick BBQ and suddenly have material for steps.
If a person has enough energy after work and having to pick the kids up, who've been farmed
out, help them with their homework, cook dinner, if you're a single mom who has to wash clothes,
renting a crappy apartment - then you still have the time and desire, but not the $6,000 for
a grotto by a landscaping company, you'll likely have to use found materials. Something in
the yard that's been a sore thumb and might provide raw building materials. Maybe a retaining
wall made of railroad ties - instead of throwing them away, it's good wood - you accumulate.
Throw it behind the clothes line or a hedge until you can use it.
Also be aware this is a salable commodity. Keep your mind open to things without obvious
monetary value. Hold back, squirrel it away, like broken construction, for example. Say
your neighbor tore out part of the driveway. It's been in the street for two weeks. You
wonder when he's gonna get rid of it. Might be good stepping stones. He might say, "take
em." Bricks, concrete, wood, safety glass, which breaks out like gravel, not in shards...
save it all, if you can.

They're excavating for a new shopping center at Mt Vernon and Bernard - there would be rocks
there.

Plant now for the future - the time when you will have time for a backyard retreat.
A Pawlonia grows so fast, you can hear it screaming. At the same time, plant a slower-
growing tree, like a weeping elm, which is beautiful and stately. Cut the Pawlonia down
once the mature tree gets to a certain size. Use its wood to build something else - a trellis,
maybe, or a patio cover or pathway. Don't plant a white birch if you plan to live here longer
than 15 years.
Same with redwoods - they go into decline. But a valley oak for the grandchildren? It's like
buying a bottle of wine and telling the grandchildren when they marry, they may open it.
Such a tree is a gift to the future.

Surfaces - cement is expensive and hot, though easy to clean off. Gravel has rustic charm,
but is heavy. You'd have to have lots of family with strong backs to help. Redwood chips are
reasonably inexpensive, smell good, and are fairly light, on the other hand.
Weed control - put down landscaping cloth. This allows water to pass through into the
ground. You place it on the bare dirt, but it's so fine, the weeds can't germinate through
it. It's well worth it, inexpensive. Places like Wal-Mart, Home Depot, Lowe's have it.

A hammock is pretty cheap. Kids can't jump on it, but it's fine if cared for. It implies you
have trees to hang it from, but some come with frames. Place it where you have the best
wind movement and shade. The neighbor might be throwing out old furniture - hose it down,
let it dry out, cover it with old blankets or table clothes, you have your outside furniture.

Uncle Joe once told me, "Don't ever put anything in you can't move. You'll find yourself
rearranging things." He was right.
Gardening is an evolving activity. The garden gets older, has less energy, moves toward
simplicity. The gardener makes changes based on not being able to bend over as well, say
puts a faucet higher up, maybe after decades splurges on a strip of cement all around
the house so he can move the wheelbarrow more easily.
Gardeners learn through experience. You might plant an exotic macadamia plant for instance,
and have it die. That's why the process takes so long.

Looking at the side garden - this was a fence, no grass, hot, lots of sunshine. Now, trees provide a ceiling
for a "secret garden". "The English have the word 'folly' to describe 'a whimsical conversation piece', like maybe a fake Parthenon or Acropolis."

He has a bird bath (a gift) as focal
point, a "Blessed Mother" statue,  an arch from a family wedding. "In Ireland, you see little leprauchan houses. These are conversation pieces. Like pink flamingos - you don't see enough of
those around here. Or the plywood grandma and grandpa bending over. I think some people are
limited by social convention that tells them, for example, 'These things are tacky and
low-class.' Those with less to lose can be more expressive and more creative."

Stinky-shorts tree - a volunteer. You gotta listen to the plants. Originally, this tree
was growing on the hill. I cut it down with a hoe and put it in a pot. It died, then came back.
It died again, so i planted it in the ground. Look at it now. (it's humungous.)
Trellis - very old. Came in 4x8 sections from a garden supply store. Recycled.
You arrange things to please your own eye. For instance you can hang things in trees, like bicycles, for instance. It's weird, funny, great!
Pots and planters have been gifts. So were the Buddha statue, the welcome signs.

He has patio curtains to draw when the light moves. Lanterns. Classroom masks. Wind chimes. Gourds.

Ceiling fans are affordable for someone who knows how to wire.
Indoor-outdoor carpet feels good on the feet, so there's the tactile thing. It's also
pretty and defines the space. You can find carpets at second hand stores and yard sales.
Don't get furniture spiders can get up in, like wicker, for instance.
The little fridge is from my old classroom - not planned.
Time figures strongly in this.
Your friends need to know you're getting into gardening. Tell them more than once! People will give you things.
What not to plant - wisteria is a monster. The self-taught gardener learns hard lessons.
You plan honeysuckle, you will forever kick yourself. It progresses like mold.
Trial and error, though, is part of the fun. There is a macabre pleasure in complaining - and it's not hurting anyone.
Wherever you go or live, you're always looking for ideas. When my children were babies, there was a
hippie community up in the hills behind our house and at night you'd hear these weird
bells and gongs. It was spooky! But I always liked gongs and chimes, like the ones in Morro Bay, so I made my own gong from metal tubing and wood and twine.
Everything is evolving.

Monji  and Urner and people like them are paid for expertise. They've seen the things that work and don't work.
You have a class of people who don't care - they don't want to be creative: "Don't bother
me with details, just give me something nice." There are those who want to be involved
in the processs. Then you have those who don't have those options. Ressure them that
if they're interested, they can do it, too.
Gardening is a unique expression of creativity. It can be enjoyed by all.