All time?  George Carlin (though he's not as funny anymore.)  Quote him *ALL* the time.

After that:  Steven Wright, though I haven't seen him in years.  Can do quotes on request

Currently appearing:  Ron "Tater Salad" White.  Just laugh, not many quotes.

Bill Maher ("Bush is so retarded, he could be on death row in Texas") is hilarious. I liked Andrew Dice Clay and George Wallace, too. The hardest I have ever laughed in my life was watching a Buddy Hackett special on HBO in 1983. He talked about why you shouldn't fart if you're riding in an elevator with a midget. I was in such pain from laughing, I had to leave the room for a minute or two.

 Is Steven Wright a tall skinny pale guy with a droll delivery? If so he did one of the funniest gigs I ever saw.  The first album I ever owned was Bob Newhart "The Button- Down Mind of Bob Newhart". He and Carlin are probably my favorites.

 I was stuck on a bus at the Daytona 500 last year with a young man from Alabama that knew Ron Whites lines very well.  I liked his routine until I heard this guy repeat them about 50 times in two days.

 That's the one.  Some of his work:

I went to the hardware store and bought some batteries.  But they weren't included.  So I had to buy 'em again.

Sometimes I like to stick my head out the window and smile for satellite photographs.

Totally unconnected--his shows are *ALL* punchlines.

 I grew up with Steve Martin, Sam kinison and the Diceman but my favorite is Richard Pryor...............
 

 Eddie Izzard.  Putting on one of his shows always makes me smile.

 i LOVE dane cook, dave chappelle, christian finnigan, jim gaffigan.....  i watch stand up comedy all the time and see a lot of  funny comedians,but the best one i have seen in awhile was his dude named Jo Koy (i think that's how it's spelled) omg he was funny.... plus he's a single dad and thats awesome!  he'll be here in june. he's hella cool too, after i saw his bit on comedy central, i found him on myspace and sent  him a message and he actually sent one back to me. i thought that was pretty cool.

 Dave "No Gooder" Chappelle

Richard Pryor (His book is one of the funniest I've read)

 Love all four of em Gube

Remember Steve Martins routine of the preacher with the Gospel Maniacs, the jacuzzi jets, and all?

I had all those memorized

One of my black athlete buddies used to do Pryor

We'd get some Mad Dog 20-20 and have a great ol' time. All of us would play bassetball @ Siemen Park and crack everyone up!

Sam Kinison -- was great as VN Vet teacher -- was that in Back to School?

and Diceman............... Fairlane 500...... ha!

Hickory Dickory Dock

 Years ago Steven Wright used to have a joke about having a switch in his hous that didn't do anything

He switched it on and off all the time trying figure it out

Somehwere in Germany a poor little old lady's bedroom lights were going on and off during the night

Scared her witless

Now there are commercials base on that same premise

Wright did all his own material. He was a great one

 Cosby.

Then Pryor.

 Most of the comedians today all sound the same. Say something shocking, then make reference to something from the 80's.

Masters of the obvious.

 Sam Kennison....dead now, but he had a future if it wasn't for the coke and booze......

 George Carlin="Brain Droppings"

He has become kind of a dried up curmudgeon of late though

I even remember as far back as his Hippy Dippy Mailman?

Loved that guy!

 Lewis Black is also good.......

 He could read the phone book and make me laugh Ling............

Eddie Izzard,Johnathan Winters, most of the above mentioned and Lily Tomlin 

 Carlin's more bitter than funny these days IMHO.

 I never found Carlin very funny. The wife did, though.

 hey chico........And I dropped the bi-ch off on the next block...........

little boy blue..............................he needed the money..................
Mary Mary quit contrary shave that bush its so damn hairy..............................

 I never got carlin....................I never found him funny...............then again I like simple humor

 Gube, Dice Man was just too Non-PC for most

I loved the guy

Even when he had his breakdown on stage that time

Kinda like Andy Kaufman

 men loved him and women hated him........That right there is one reason that he was funny.........

 When I was a teenager I had a Redd Foxx 8-track comedy tape that I hid from my dad. It was the best. I have always loved a good comedian. There are so many to list. I like Carlos Mencia, mostly because he says what so many others won't, or can't. 

Chico, I remember an old Steven Wright question. "If, when you drop a cat, it always lands on it's feet, and when you drop a peanut butter sandwich, it always lands peanut butter side down, what would happen if you attached a peanut butter sandwich to the back of a cat, and dropped it?  

 Jerry Seinfeld and Eddie Izzard

Contemporary comedians -- Brian Regan.  His routines are void of swearing (yes, they CAN be funny without cussing) except for a very rare "hell."  http://www.youtube.com/watc...  My preteen son has practically all of Regan's stuff memorized, and it's a hoot to hear him repeat it.

From the past -- Bob Newhart, Carol Burnett, and Tim Conway.  Some of the skits from Burnett's show had me laughing so hard I almost would wet my pants.  You would start to get the giggles and just couldn't stop.  Here's an outtake (warning: one swear word at the very end):    http://www.youtube.com/watc... 

Here's the top 100....

I too like Steven Wright...but loved Robin Williams back in the day.  Grew up on Carlin, Brenner, Pryor, Cosby, and I loved Johnny Carson.  

 My favorite Carlin bit was from the Hippy Dippy Newsman......"this just in.  Saliva causes stomach cancer.  But only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time."

 How did we get this far and nobody mentioned Mitch Hedberg?  Real shame he died.

http://www.youtube.com/watc...

I'm really surprised how popular Eddy Izzard is.  I really like his stuff.

I'd never heard of Eddy Izzard, so I looked him up on YouTube and listened to some of his stuff.  Why do comedians think they have to use the f-word to be funny?  If a comedian is truly funny, he/she doesn't need the f-word or a bunch of swearing.  I wonder if they swear because they lack confidence in their material without it?

spam code:  EDdy IZzaRd  ....  no kidding.

Well he is British~LOL..... he does let fly with the occasional "bad " word,but his bits are brilliant,IMHO~ to each his own. 

Well, comedy is a lot about saying things you're not supposed to.

I grew up with Steve Martin, Sam kinison and the Diceman but my favorite is Richard Pryor...............
 

I bought Pryor's "Is It Something I Said?" album when I was 17. He talked about a guy who had all kinds of problems, one of which was that he was "in love with a b*tch I can't stand!" I didn't fall in love until I was 22, so I wondered how you could be in love with someone that you can't stand. It seemed like a contradiction in terms. When I was 31, I found out exactly what he meant!

Dice was hilarious. I had a tape of his where he's complementing a woman in the audience on her ample cleavage, and her muscular boyfriend got mad and started mouthing off. Dice tore him a new one: "I know all about ya, pal! Two hundred and twenty pounds of dynamite wit a two-inch fuse!"

 Eddie Izzard, when I close my eyes.

I know Audrey! He looks better in makeup than I do and has better legs !

 I saw on myspace today that Eddie Izzard is doing a show tomorrow in LA.

WTF is an Eddie Izzard?

 Howie Mandell is one of my favorites. He didn't do a normal routine, he asked  a few members of the audience in what they did and based his comedy accordingly in the stories he has to share to base back with the audience.

 My all time favorite is Robin Williams.  He could be dropped into anywhere with no warning whatsoever and keep any audience in hysterica for hours on end without breaking a sweat.

 Kat Williams!

I could quote him, but it wouldn't be blog appropiate.

 Jonathan Winters (old lady's Jim Carey!), George Carlin (7-words you can't say), Richard Pryor when he imitated the difference between a white wife and a black wife!! What a scream!  Anybody remember Shelly Berman?  Waayyyyyy back when!!!! PLUS: ALL OF THE ABOVE!

 Robin Williams=his vocal talents are phenomenal.

Adam Sandler= his movies and SNL episodes have me grinning ear to ear.

Jim Carrey=Ace Ventura and Dumb & Dumberer have me ROFL.

 All-time favorite? I have two...

1. Robin Williams, for the absolute quickest mind EVER. I actually got to meet him back in the 80's at the Comedy Store in Santa Monica. It was an open mic night and my buddies goaded me into going up. I did less than 5 minutes when my comedic idol walked into the club, looking to take the stage. I introduced him, handed him the mic and watched as he did 40 of the funniest minutes I'd ever heard. When he was through, he motioned with the mic if I wanted it back....yeah....right!...I'm gonna follow HIM?...no way.

2. Stephen Wright, for the simple joy of listening to that deadpan delivery and hearing the audience wait a beat while their brains caught up with his. "I spilled spot remover on my dog...now he's gone"..."It's a small world...but I wouldn't want to have to paint it".

I didn't get to hear Mitch Hedberg until after he'd passed, but God, what a funny mind... Bill Cosby, funniest clean comedian ever. Steve Martin, Martin Mull, Jim Gaffigan, Dane Cook, Brian Regan, lots of newer guys who are featured on Bob & Tom...

well thank goodness nobody mentioned larry the cable guy. i assume his fans are too dumb to own computers. the funniest guys out there today are: patton oswalt, doug stanhope, greg giraldo and lewis black.

Used to really like George Gobels.  Don't care for any of the newer so called comics that have to use the F word to get a laugh.  I may be lowbrow but I do like Foxworthy and the blue Collar bunch.  I can't remember her name (having a senior moment) but there is a dead pan gal who appears on HBO once in a while that cracks me up.

I guess my all time favorite would be Tim Conway, clean humor with a little slapstick.  I still have his tapes of Gorf on Golf and Gorf goes fishing.

DANE COOK IS A JOKE THIEF, PABLO FRANCISCO IS THE BEST, FOLLOWED BY DEMITRI MARTIN

I just loved the Carol Burnett Show.  Really miss that kind of humor.  Just love Tim Conway.  Also I liked George Carlin. 

Also I loved the movie, "It 's a Mad, Mad, Mad World"   You can tell how old I am because that is a very old movie.  Just loved Ethel Merman and Jonathan Winters with Buddy ___ , can't remember his last name.  Anyway I loved the skit with Jim Backus when they were in airplane and Jim dies.  Buddy and Micky Rooney are trying to fly the airplane.  That was funny!!!!!   Also loved Jonathan Winters with Phil Silvers.  

I guess my favorite modern day comedian would be Robin Williams and also Steve Martin.  I do like Eddie Murphy's movies -- Dr. Doolittle, but his comedy is a little too profane and X-rated for me.