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Here's your sign
CHP Officer Greg Williams was working the front desk Monday at the California Highway Patrol office on Buck Owens Boulevard.
A woman and her male neighbor walk in. The woman's son was driving without a license and her car was impounded. She wanted it back. Greg asks her for her driver's license. She looks at him goofy. She doesn't have one, but of course, she had intended to drive her car home. So Greg asks the neighbor for his license. He looked at him goofy. He doesn't have one either. Greg says, "I just saw you park in front." The man says he was just trying to help out his neighbor. Greg impounds his car. Sometimes the cops actually have to go out and find these people, as opposed to having them drive up to their front door. Posted by Steve E. Swenson 12 comments from 11 users
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posted by
samheath
on Oct 18, 2007 at 08:05 AM
Who needs UFO abductees when "these walk among us."
posted by
Lingtaowoo
on Oct 18, 2007 at 08:12 AM
Why doesn't that surprise me...now do you see what happens when you eat paint chips or sniff glue at any age...
posted by
robbwillis
on Oct 18, 2007 at 08:27 AM
I was watching the Cops anniversary special a couple of weeks ago. A lady called the cops on her neighbor because her neighbor had taken her money and not given her anything. The cop asks her several times what she was buying and finally she says it was crack. The cop confronts the other neighbor and she's quite indignant at the charge. "I aint no crack dealer, I'm a prostitute!"
posted by
koztarr
on Oct 18, 2007 at 09:08 AM
Hope I do not see these folks at my polling place!
posted by
ChicoEsquela
on Oct 18, 2007 at 10:43 AM
KERNERSVILLE, NC: In June '97, a man tried to rob a downtown bank with an unloaded BB gun. And he might have gotten away with it, had he not chosen a bank across the street from the Kernersville Police Station! New York: Two men decide to rob a bank using their junkheap of a car for a getaway vehicle. They had spray-painted: "FOR SALE 555-5555" (with their phone number) on the side of the car in an effort to sell the heap. Long Beach, CA: Several employees of a large (un-named) aerospace company decide to rob a bank on their lunch hour (Figuring that the police would never look for them at the plant). Of course, they forgot to remove their ID badges while they were robbing the bank! (And I thought wearing mine into the grocery store was embarassing.) Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter. England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag. Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail. Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a forged check. He got 10 years. (Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. (Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.) (Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ... Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it. (Location Unknown): A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. posted by
OldBlue56
on Oct 18, 2007 at 10:59 AM
A few years ago this guy came into the downtown police station and wanted to clear up a misdemeanor warrant that he had. He was sent upstairs to the warrant office and was going to receive a citation to appear in court at a later date. When he removed his hand from his pants pocket, a baggie of rock cocaine fell out onto the floor. Needless to say, he went to jail for the cocaine and the warrant.
posted by
RoyTullis
on Oct 18, 2007 at 11:04 AM
Our gene pool at work... It may be time to clean some pools. ;oP
posted by
Lingtaowoo
on Oct 18, 2007 at 11:57 AM
And to think that these individuals passed on these fine genes to the next generation ~chico~ (by the way,call me)..it's a scarry thought that this is the future of Amerika....duh...
posted by
ghostriter
on Oct 18, 2007 at 01:37 PM
The fact that these people reproduce tends to negate any belief in a benevolent higher power. posted by
adampayne
on Oct 18, 2007 at 05:15 PM
"You can't fix stupid."
posted by
randomfactor
on Oct 18, 2007 at 05:15 PM
Ghostriter, maybe it proves She has a sense of humor.
posted by
AnnaWhaat
on Oct 18, 2007 at 05:23 PM
can you say Dumb and Dumber?
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