This is something I have struggled with my entire life.

When I was a kid, I was active. Up until age 13 or so, the thought of how much I weighed or what I look liked NEVER entered my mind. I was perfectly happy with myself and the world.

Then I grew up. And out. I was on a diet by sixth grade. But it wasn't by my choice--no, my mom decided I was gaining too much weight and put me on diets. One by one, I failed. I got bigger, slowly. What neither one of us realized of course is that diets don't work, and I was gaining weight because I am an only child, and I would eat out of boredom because I was home alone. (My dad left when I was 11 or so, so she couldn't afford the babysitter anymore) I ate out of boredom and loneliness.

At first, I really ddin't care about how much I weighed. But we continued to play this dieting game.. she tried everything. Promising me a big shopping spree, trying to give me all sorts of rewards for losing weight, even straight up money. None of it worked. I got bigger, and i finally started to care about the numbers on the scale. she'd nipick my clothes--the classic mom line, "You're going to wear THAT"? And if there is anything more devistating on someone's life than to be insulted by your mother--I'd like to know about it.

As I grew up, I didn't grow UP very much (I'm 5'3") but I sure grew out. I got my first car at 18 and that's when I really started to gain. By age 20, I was probably 220-ish pounds. Each passing year, I gained, and gained, and gained. By age 27, I was 320 pounds. Finally I said OK I'm willing to do something about this. I "cheated" and got gastric bypass surgery. This was 3 years ago.

I lost 150 pounds in a year. (On my 1 year anniversary, I got "150" tattooed on my hip to remember it) for a while, life was good. I even managed to get down to 145 pounds. But what noone ever bothered to tell me, that losing weight wouldn't cure everything like I always dreamt it would every night. Unfortunately, I was still the same person. Noone bothered to also tell me that I would regain some weight back. And it tore me up inside. I was a failure. An ugly, fat failure. I hated myself.

I was never taught that beauty and weight are NOT connected. I grew up with a mother who's highest weight was probably 150 pounds, but her natural weight is about 110. She can eat until her stomach explodes, and gains no more than 5 pounds.

For half my life, how much I weigh determines how I feel. The bigger the number, the more miserable I am. The less I weigh, I like myself better. I am worthy. This is pretty normal I'd say for most women. But why?

To me, physical beauty and inner beauty are completely seperate. Paris Hilton---yes she is skinny, blonde, and beautiful. But as a human? I don't know her personally, but I'd describer her as a easter chocolate; hollow inside. Not a lot going on in the brain or compassion department there. (I watched a video of her not even flinch as a friend of hers crashed in a motorcycle)

I look at magazines nowdays and get saddned by the women of hollywood. They are wilting away to nothing because they keep listening to the BS that women are fed about being skinny. If you're not skinny, you're nobody. Everyone will make fun of you, you won't have friends and you surely WONT expect any man to be attracted to you.

It's a big heaping pile of crap. Your worth in this world isn't measured in pounds; its in the amount of love you have for yourself and the people in your life. I know, its the cheesiest thing in the world but its true. I had to learn this for myself, but I DID learn it. And I sure hope that this message came through to you.

Oh and I'm up to 180 now, and even though I'm trying to get off a little weight, it isn't an emergency. I still work out and take care of myself, and this is where Im gonna be, then thats ok. I'm ok.

I just read this story about a young mother (younger than me) who has severe lupus and found out she doesn't have long to live. She has 2 young boys, and I watched the video interview.

These are the stories that I love to read. During her interview, I never saw the look of self-pity, and being the former reigning queen of self-pity for much less reasons, it is always inspiring to see people in horrible circumstances who refuse to give in to the sadness of it. Despite living at the homeless shelter, she is radiant with hope that someone will take her children and give them the lives she would give them if she was going to live to grow older.

I've lived a selfish life, I have no kids and been divorced nearly 10 years. I've spent my life obsessing over how much I weigh, how much money I don't make, how much of life I've missed out on. We already know how pointless it is, but stories like these drill the point into the ground.

I've never wanted kids, obviously for the reasons above, but many, ok all of my friends are mothers. And although a part of me is glad I don't, I can't help feel jealous. Kids are pricy and require a great deal of attention and time, but in the end, its all worth it. Having no kids and buying myself "things" and being good to myself is okay, but doing it for someone else and getting the gift of bringing someone else joy, as the visa ad people say, is priceless. Her kids are her savior, if it wasn't for them, she is spending her last months/years of her life trying to make a good life for her kids.  There are few such unselfish and loving acts as that.

I am very glad this story is out in the news.. its a refreshing change of a positive story.

You sure don't have to guess what "side" the writer of this column is.

I don't think the words "religious freedom" should be anywhere in this article. Because obviously, freedom only applies to one side. The "right" side.

Oh noe's, dont pass a law that forbids discrimination! Bad Arnold, VERY BAD! (am I laying on the sarcasm thick enough or what?)

I don't see why people think that they have to believe themselves that "different" sexual orientations are ok. It says businesses. When you install a computer program, do you really read the elua and agree with every single thing that they have listed? If you don't, do you click no?

What does sexual prefrence have to do with anything about a person? What does YOUR religious beliefs have to do with them? Should they just cease to exist because YOU don't approve of it? Just think if we outlawed every little thing that people didn't like. It reminds me of an episode of southpark where people were offended about different aspects of christmas. By the end of the episode, there was nothing left. something always offends someone. I mean some people were attacking a teletubby for crying out loud! A childrens show character. come on, stop taking everything so personally.

I can't stand articles like this. People are different. You don't have to like it. But that doesnt mean you should pretend they don't exist or that they should be ashamed of themselves.