I've had all sorts of friends. Skinny ones, fat ones, successful ones, not-so-successful ones, lazy ones, active ones, friends with half a dozen kids, friends with no kids.. but what are their similiarites and differences? It has absolutely nothing to do with what I listed above.

My very first friend, I didn't make until 6th grade. We had a ton in common. We were both "outcasts" in school.. you know the ones.. the ones the other kids stayed away from as if we had boiles all over our skin and by merely looking at us they'd catch our disease. I have no idea what was so repelling about us, but that's how it felt. We met one day playing teatherball. Both of us were really good, the napolean dynamites of the school. I don't really remember if we played very competively, which is probably why we got along so well. we both knew we were good, and we just loved playing the game. We also looked like sisters (we went to a pretty dominantly upper class "white" school), and we both had the love of goofing off and laughing. It makes me smile when I think about the fact that we would spend all day together at school, and almost immediately come home and talk on the phone for hours. (who needs homework?) we had so much fun together. I never questioned her acceptance and her friendship. we teased each other a lot, in love.

After life happened, friendships changed dramatically. Everything I felt with my first friend was GONE. Friendship became the complete opposite. It felt like a constant contest,  something to be "earned", feeling as though I was always under a microscope, over criticised, every flaw about me was like a huge obvious mole. It was highly uncomfortable. After many, many, MANY years of this, I've forgotten what it's like to truly BE a friend, and what is a friend.

So what am I learning about what is a true friend? Well, firstly, I know I don't do all these things for others, but I have the desire to...

• A friend walks in when everyone walks out.
• A friend is someone you want to be around when you want to be alone.
• A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you've forgotten the tune.
• A friend listens with their heart, not just their ears.
• A friend lifts you up, gives encouragement when you are down.
• A friend is someone who laughs when you laugh. Not laugh when you fall.
• A friend lets you talk, even when they might be tired of hearing what you're talking about.
• A friend lets you have your emotions and never tries to change them.
• A friend loves you at your worst.
• A friend never tries to change you.
• A friend is someone you can sit with, comfortably in silence.
• A friend is someone that you cannot imagine your life without because you would miss them so much.
• A friend is someone you can tell secrets to and trust that they will keep it to themselves and won't bring it up to shame you later.
• A friend sees your flaws, and may tease you about them but never tries to change you.
• Friends may not understand what you do, and why you do it, but waits patiently for you. Never rushes.

I could probably go on and on, but this is what I am learning. I am learning that this list is exactly who Jesus is, and there is no other friendship like His.

A water bearer in India had two large pots hanging at the ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The other pot had a crack in it, and by the time it reached its destination, it was only half full. Every day for two years the water bearer delivered only one and one-half pots of water to the master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments—perfect to the end for which it was made. The poor little cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and miserable that it could accomplish only half of what it had been designed to do. After two years of what the imperfect pot perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer and said, "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer, "What are you ashamed of?"

"Well, for these past two years, I have been able to deliver only half a load of water each day because this crack in my side allows water to leak out all the way back to the master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work without getting the full value of your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because half of its load had leaked out once again.

Then the bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path and not on the other pot's side? That's because I've always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day as we walked back from the stream, you watered those seeds, and for two years I have picked these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just what you are, he would not have had this beauty to grace his house."