Love for me has always felt like never never land.  It's something that I've never had growing up, not true, unconditional love.

I love watching Nanny 911, I believe that entire show is about loving our families. I love watching the transition, from both the parents and the kids. There's a lot of families who desperately need help, and I think its wonderful that an outsider comes in, takes a look around and tells them what needs to change to make everyone happier.

I see God in these Nannies. They observe, tell the truth, tell what changes need to be made, give them the tools they need and help them along the way to make peace at home. The nannies don't retract what they tell the parents when they get upset. They don't sugar coat it.

I think we could all use a nanny in our lives. I know I do. It's a commandment of Christians to love our enemies, to bless them and to pray for them. To do good to them, to outpour so much love for them and to never do harm for them. I certainly do NOT do that. I blame, I make excuses, I say "But God, dont You know when I tried to love them? Look at all the damage they caused me!! I don't want to love them!" Of course I don't! Loving our enemies goes against everything we know in this society. Blow em up! Tease them! Put them down! Kill em all!!  Before I became a christian I was a fan of Kill Bill. The ULTIMATE revenge movie. Lots and lots of deaths. Over what? Yes she had every reason to be angry. But to kill as many people she did? Now I see how pointless it is. Yeah she got what she wanted in the end, but at so many peoples expense!

Last night I was at a place where my "enemies" are. One of them was kind to me. It was weird. Very weird, it touched me deeply. I'm not a crier, but it made me cry. It surely would be nice if earth was like heaven, where everyone lives at peace, there's no fighting, strife or suffering. That would really be nice. But that's not the case. That's never been the case. But as I continue to learn, I see how much we learn from our enemies. God doesn't want me to love my enemies because it causes me pain and suffering.. quite the opposite. We receieve love from God when we do. I know the tears I cried yesterday were healing tears. Because deep inside, I know I don't want to be hated and persecued by my enemies, I want love from them. And to get love, I must give it first...

(and as i type this I know I'll read this later and probably get mad about it!!!!)