I came out with hope.

She was totally young and friendly, and was definitely healthy (at least by all outward appearances). Although she has never had an eating disorder, she took me seriously, and told me she has worked with eating disordered patients for 8 years. After getting her BS in dietetics, she attempted to start her internship, but they had none available. So she decided to get involved in a research project where she surveyed youths about eating disorder behaviours. From that, she started a healthy body image and eating disorder seminar that she would give in health classes. To me, this is so awesome because this is exactly what I want to do some day- I want to work with adolescents with eating disorders as a dietitian, as I began to exhibit eating disordered behaviours when I was ~ 8 years old myself. Of course, her past experience touched my heart. Then she said that doing all the research really interested her in helping those with eating disorders, but she didn't know where to go in Bakersfield to do so. Well, she found a therapist (the one I was supposed to be seeing now, but she had to refer me as she is resigning from her practise) and they began working together 8 years ago.

She was completely open and honest and we even went over a small meal plan (not too overwhelming) to start me back on the road to recovery. She honestly listened to everything I had to talk about. Hilariously enough, she doesn't like my previous dietitian either, and even cracked a joke about her. Heheheh. So that totally put me at ease that we were on the same page.

And get this (and this REALLY had me reeling): SHE was the one who brought up the tube, after she had heard that I had an NG at Remuda Ranch. She said she really recommended me for the PEG this time as it would be more long-term and wouldn't be so obvious (like the NG, for example). I was shocked that she would bring it up without me asking that I started tearing up. So she wanted me to work on the meal plan, call the surgeon tomorrow ("he's a young, hip Indian doctor- I think you'll like him"), and then call her about when the appointment is. I'm just...shocked and a little scared.

But happy that I've found someone who just listens, who isn't talking about their past, who wants to move forward, and who is on the same page. Thanks, Diane Campbell, for restoring my faith.

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For those of you who may be searching for an excellent dietitian in Bakersfield: