I found these online, one for the men and one for the women!  I was inspired by Witterpitter's last post.  Hope they give a laugh or two! 

:-)

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. “That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. “Oh, mercy me!”‘ she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!

Please Note:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a six story New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

As the term "fiscal crisis" becomes a cliche and we make do (or do without), I wonder how each of you would answer this thought provoking question:  When it comes to taxes, what is "fair"?  Who should pay and how much? (Who can also include businesses).

Who among us has the best solution--play "benevolent dictator" and share your thoughts!

MP

1. Innocent until proven guilty. 

If you're sent to jail, accused of a crime, you should retain those rights which are practicable--if you cannot make bail.  Basically put, this means said inmates receive amenities such as nice facilities, a modicum of privacy, and better general conditions than the rest; after all a good portion of these inmates are actually acquitted or released, not all are guilty or become convicts.  Additionally, we must stop prosecuting victimless crimes. 

2. The Guilty.

Once proven guilty, the gravy train stops.  You go to prison, and you're divided into two groups.  One is the group with a future, the other is the group without. Those considered beyond rehabilitation will go in the latter group and will spend their lives in a maximum security environment without the hope of ever leaving prison alive.

The second group...

This is the group that may one day, sooner or later, return to civilization.  The greatest resources should be expended here. 

The day begins with reveille at 6 AM and inmates have one hour to eat and get ready for the day's activities.  By 7 AM they are in citizenship class, designed to teach them how to abide in civilized society.  From 8-12 they work in the prison factory or industries, hopefully providing cheap labor for corporate or state industries.  The idea is each inmate produces labor which pays their own keep.  There is no reason why prisons should cost taxpayer money. From 12-12:30 is lunch.  12:30-5 PM is more work.  At 5 is supper.  At 5:30 is work skills/diploma/education class where people learn work/educational skills they can use on the outside.  At 7 is therapy and counseling, and at 8:30 inmates return to their cells or dorms.  At 9:30 is lights out. 

Of course, the time and schedule could be worked out differently, but the key components are these; a focus on productivity so the prisons generate revenues rather than cost (or at least minimize the costs), as well as a focus on counseling (victims empathy, right behavior, etc.) and reform.  Since we will share the streets with these people someday, it is crucial we prepare them for the experience.  Otherwise, the only other solution is the ghastly one, which is to execute all offenders of the law (and that is unacceptable to me).  I think the present system is a shambles, and does nothing to help the inmate or society, and is a national shame. 

Also, we don't release inmates who will require lifetime monitoring (like certain sex offenders).  If we can't trust people to behave without constant supervision, the next best thing is to place them in a semi-free but secure community with others like themselves. 

I have no problem being around someone with a past, provided they behave rightly, just as I have no problem being around a person with a clean past, provided they behave rightly when about me as well. 

And that's my opinion.

MP