In January I had enough in savings to get me by, just barely, for a couple of months should the need arise. That safety net is, for teh most part, gone. I am fine as long as I am working my ass off, but if anything at all goes wrong, I am screwed. Immediately! Between many major unexpected expenses and the weakening dollar, I am nearly wiped out. I have been very broke in the past, but it was always because I simply wasn't making much money. I make plenty now, but I have never hemmoraged money like this in the past.

I haven't had the chance to do anything this year to "get away", not even for a weekend. On the rare occasion that I had a little coin, I had no time or I was just to beat from working too much and needed rest. I have put in more 12-16 hour days this year than I ever remember doing before. After nearly thirty years I am finding myself back in the ditch and back on poles..and I am a BOSS! It's wearing me down physically and mentally.

I August my daughter moved away to Vegas and took my little grandson to whom I had grown very attached. It killed me to watch them drive away. My oldest had moved to Fresno in 2007 taking my older grandsons there and with all of us having hectic schedules, I rarely get to see them.

Last month I lost an old buddy to a heart attack. He was 49 and a father of tennaged kids..just like me. He didn;t take care of himself and was a heavy smoker, but still..49? We were running buddies for many years, working and playing together. Chasing women and dreams. I sold him the last 125cc dirtbike I ever owned in 1980 and he still had it when he passed away! We hadn't hung out in a few years, but it still hit me hard.

Yesterday I found out that a long time online friend has lung cancer. Her e-mail did not sound encouraging. I have never met, or even talked on the phone with her, but we have shared many of our difficulties and laughs. She is 64, a mother and a grandmother and a very cool gal. Her name is Judy and she lives in B.C., Canada. Please keep her in your prayers, or if you don't believe in that, just keep her in your heart.

It just stinks, but there are always positive aspects of life too, The things that keep me from sitting in a deepening rut or too long on the pity pot. My daughter is coming back to stay next week so I get to hang with Aidan again. My younger girls are with me and doing well. It's football season and that means the family gets together for my grandson's games whether in person or on TV. I get to actually see Ryan and Dante for a few weekends. Trish, my oldest, is working in town again and I see her regularly. I DO have a very good job that isn't likely to be greatly affected by the economic problems and I have breakfast every Sunday with the family at one of our houses(or at the Sugar Mill when it's Dad's turn)and that keeps me in touch with Mom, Dad, Sis, my Nephew, his wife, my great nephew and soon enough, Cassie and Aidan.

I am healthy and virile, my Harley is paid for and life is pretty good as a whole. I just wish things would calm down a little so I can catch my breath!