I do not get caught up in the "spirit of the season" much anymore. I am annoyed by the crowds of shoppers who are more interested in getting their kids: A. The Best Deal on a gift, or B. The Best Gift On The Block. It pisses me off when I end up needing to run to a store to get some necessity and am unable to find a parking place within a half mile of the store I need to get to due to the massive crowds then getting into the store and having to fight people who are fighting others over the last of this or one of those. Hey, I just need some sixty watt light bulbs and a case of Propel! Maybe next year I'll lay in two months worth of supplies in October to avoid such problems.

I am sick of traffic problems on the Bakersfield streets and Hwy 99 from people packing into the Mall or heading up or down to wherever. Yesterday the CHP was pacing traffic on southbound 99 through town because the Ming Ave. ramp was backed up almost to the 58 interchange. It was ridiculous and dangerous. Ming Ave has to be re-directed at Wible every year to keep people from causing accidents there from being impatient or neglectful trying to get to the mall. Once in the mall parking lot, traffic control is needed to keep people from doing incredibly stupid things(as if being there this time of year isn't stupid enough!)while trying to get a parking place right in front of the doors. Just go park in the old Robinsons-May lot already! Hell, it's deserted! Get off your lazy ass and walk a little, it won't kill you!..But it'll clear up next week

I am sick of the Christmas vs. Holidays argument. Not that I ever involve myself in it, because I will call it what I like, I will shop where I like, and I will keep my faith no matter what Target or Penny's decides to about the Salvation Army or it's ad campaigns. It's just that when people start bickering over such things, it takes another of the pleasures this season used to bring me away. Neighbors wasting the city's time and recources trying to get another to take down a nativity scene, and worse, the News actually giving it airtime! Mind your own business for cryin' out loud! It's supposed to be "Good will toward men", not "Good will toward only those with whom you agree"...But that yakkity-yak will end next week

I am tired of the notion that we, as a society, are supposed to spend an average of $96.38 per gift per child or $992.17 pre gift per spouse. Actually, I just made those numbers up, but you get the point! This is all supposed to be about celebrating The birth of Christ(in my case), or the Winter Solstice(in thecase of why it is done at this time to begin with), or whatever your reasons may be for doing so(or not at all if you are a Jehova's Witness), and not about getting or giving the coolest gift. If I bought my wife something and she thought it wasn't expensive enough, I'd REALLY go spend some money..on a divorce attorney! If my kids groused about a gift, I would take ALL their gifts and go give them to some kids who would have no qualms with an I-pod that was white instead of red!...But my family is of no such mind.

Now I come to the only part of this season that i DO still love. The gathering of the family. I have a large family, including inlaws, and we all have our own "main" gatherings on Christmas or Christmas Eve, but we all make the time to be with each other in some way. Last nite it was at my sister in laws place. A small gift exchange and some pizza. I loved it! They will go on and have their annual time with her Inlaws. Tonite it will be my daughter Trish and my grandsons Ryan and Dante over here because they are leaving early in the morning to fly to Arkansas to be with her brother and his family. I'll make my family famous enchiladas. Christmas Day will see us at Mom's for the traditional gift exchange there and her big feast, in her new place, including her annual gift to me and Sis; her semi-sweet, hard, homemade fudge! I will read from the Book of Luke to remind us all of why we are gathered, we'll open presents, chow down then sit around and moan about jow stuffed we are while we cut another piece of pie or make another plate of food. THIS is what it's all about...And it will feel that way every time we get together, all year!

So, next time your screaming at some idiot who just cut you off so he could beat you to a parking place, or next time you want to argue with someone over why THEY are celebrating this season, or whatever kind of frenzy you feel yourself beginning to be whipped into, remember, it's not about you, it's not about your opinions and it's not about being the best. It's about family and fun, Good times and good food, It's about reflecting on how good we all really do have it, because really, if you are reading this it means you have a computer, internet, a house and the time to mess with it all. So things ARE good, even if you disagree with why I celebrate.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I just read about the guy who lit himself on fire in front of the courthouse. What an idiot! I don't care if someone has a differing point of view on something, but please, address such issues in a rational way. This guy was, apparently, so upset over the decision to name the school breaks "Easter" and "Christmas", that he felt compelled to cause undue trauma to people who had nothing to do with that decision. You know, like the people at the courthouse, the people driving and walking by, the deputy that put him out who said it was the most horrible thing he had seen in his life, and how about his family? My friends say he was probably mentally disturbed, I say he was just a self centered idiot. I have no sympathy at all for him. Such acts have never solved anything, and in todays drive through, drive by media, this whole thing will be forgotten by everyone but his family, doctors and eye witnesses by next week. By what I read, I am not even sure he really meant to set himself aflame. He had started the tree on fire, but didn't actually light himself up. When he saw people starting to come toward him, he doused himself with gas(or whatever)which was ignited by the burning tree. No matter, he is burned, his family is concerned, and the breaks will remain unchanged by his actions. Hundreds of people set themselves on fire over the Vietnam War, and it did nothing to change the events there. There are ways to go about initiating change, or at least, voicing your opinion even if it changes nothing, without causing innocent bystanders to be affected by your action dealing with events that, most likey, have no real effect on you. I mean really, how much could this guys life have been affected by this? I guess it's better that he stoke himself on a sidewalk rather than firebomb a Macy's or a Wal-Mart for their decisions to use Christmas in their 2006 marketing plans. I guess there IS a silver lining to every story!

I read an article today on the "orgy of commercialism" surrounding Christmas and how Harriet Beecher Stowe had written a simialr pice 150 years ago. The fact that this madness we call the Christmas Season has been going on for, according to the article, 250 years, is not news to me. We are NOT a unique generation, nor was the one that preceeded us, nor will the one that follows us be. We tend to think that everything that is bad about any subject in our time, be it Christmas or dissention over the war, is unique to THIS time in history because we(well, not me!)belive THIS is the dicisive battle, or biggest holiday rush, that has ever been. The fact it that the problems and actions of our time here are simple, garden variety events in the scheme of history. Who are we to think that a oacked Wal-Mart or Christmas travellers stranded in Denver are unique to OUR generation. The travel problems will be solved in afew days by better weather and massive amounts of infrastucure and technology being untilized to get people where they want to be. You think the families in the 19th century didn't get their wagons buried while trying to get to Grammas place for Christmas, even if it WAD only ten miles away? And you can bet that there were no agencies of any sort to see to it that the mess was cleaned up by Christmas EVE! You theink the split in how people feel about the War in Iraq is something new? If so, I suggest you read the history of ever war this nation has ever fought. We nearly went into a Civil War over the Wat of 1812. States threatened to ceceded from the Union over it!

This generation seems to think it is smarter, stronger, better prepared, etc, than the last generation, who thought the same about themsleves over THEIR preceeding generation. We are average. We are no different than any American generation before us, and we will be no different than any who follow us. They will have cramped Super stores, overbooked A-380s(the new mega airliner), spaceports full of stranded moongoers..you get the picture! Individually, we always think our problems are unique, but they aren't. It just seems like it because it is happening to US, RIGHT NOW! We don't care what Harriet had to say about the condition of her world at Christmas, or what James Madison and his detractors thought about the War of 1812, but we should. It would help to temper the way problems are approached and solutions decided, but we as Americans(not me)have no interest, it seems, in learning anything from the past because we are so sure we are right, right now.

Like George Patton said, "The answers to the present are always found in the lessons of the past". I agree, we just need to dust off the old books and pay attention to what they say, and not try and interpret it to fit the way we feel right now. You may revise a history book, but you can't revise history. I say let's learn and move on!

I speak often of my grandsons, Ryan and Dante. I think of of them as my own flesh and blood, and anyone who messes with them would be better off to have died as a baby than to face my wrath in protecting them. They have been a huge part of my life for ten years. My oldset natural daughte, Cassie, had always said she wanted no children, my middle daughter said the same thing, and I was wondering if I wouldn't have to wait till my youngest was grown to experience holding my own infant grandchild. Well, life can toss anyone a curve ball and it tossed me one a few months ago with the news of Cassie's pregnancy! I blogged about this in my post "On Grandsons" awhile back, so I'll try not to repeat any of those musings and just skip to yesterday, December 13th, 2006, when my first natural grandson, Aidan~Rielly Clay McGowan, was born in Las Vegas, Nevada.

I hadn't planned on being there for the birth, as the getting ready and getting to Vegas may have talken longer than the labor, but the doctor decided to induce labor last week which gave us time to get there and take Cassie to the hospital ourselves. After Cass had spent some time with us eating, gambling and resting at the Imperial Palace, where we always stay, I took her to the hospital at 2am on the 13th and left her in the birthing room where they would induce labor later in the morning. When we returned, Cassies Mom, my 1st wife, was there with her. They had broken Cassie's water and had already given her an epidural(sp?)and she was resting comfortably. I suppose it's a bit odd, but we all get along well, and once evryone got their "howdy's" said, Bev, my wife, and Nannette, my ex wife, pulled the small hide-a-bed out and took a nap. I couldn't help but reflect on all the things that had happened between the time I met Nannette in 1980 and this moment with her and my wife napping next to each other, both as excited, concerned and proud of Cassie as the other and with no animosity toward each other. Sometimes the bumpy roads have to be travelled before the smooth road is finally underneath us.

When the nurses came in and said it was time to start pushing, Cassie ran us out of the room, but we lingered just behind the curtain listening and seaking peeks. It was at the point of becoming a grandfather that I realized I was still, and always will be, a father. After about forty-five munutes, it was apparent there was a problem. The delivery was not going well and Cassie was becoming exhusted and very upset, which of course, upset me. It upset the Gramma's too, but I could only feel MY stress! All I could do was say, from behind the curtain, that she could do it, and to keep working. It didn't matter, the baby wasn't coming. His shoulders were caught on teh pelvic bone. I was about to have a freakin' heart attack I was so stressed, but I put on a "Dad" face(wishing I had my sunglasses to cover my watering eyes)as the doctor told us that, for the safety of Mommy and Baby, they would do a C-section. On the one hand, I felt bad for Cassie, but on the other, I was relieved for all of us that the struggle she was losing would be over.

During the time we waited for the proceedure to be done, I thought a lot about Cassie's life. Her being delivered breech and with jaundice. She came into the world backwards, landed on her feet, then got knocked down. She couldn't even see the world or be held by her parents for a week, but she bounced back. Her whole life seemed to be like that. One step forward, two steps back, but she always came through with her chin up, daring the world to try again because she knew she could do it. To hear her trying to deliver, completely exhausted and saying "I can't do this anymore" was almost more than I could take, but hell, all I was doing was standing there, so I manned up, worked on a crossword puzzle, and waited for the word.

When it came, I wa sso relieved I wanted to cry all over again. When I saw my baby in that bed coming out of the anesthetic fog, it was tough, but I knew the struggle was over and that made me feel much better. I talked to her briefly then went out and started making calls. My Mom was first. We had been in touch and she knew what was going on and was duly concerned, but excited to hear the news of her first great-grandchild. As we talked she noted than I didn't sound as excited as she thought I might have been. Now, I'm not a real excitable guy in the first place, but after having ridden the emotional rollercoaster of the last couple of hours, I was just relived, and I think, coming down from that upset, afraid, adreneline high.

They told us it would be awhile before Aidan would be out of the nursery so we could hold him, so we went to the window and looked in on him. It kind of reminded me of October 10th, 1982. The day Cassie was born, and watching her through a window because she was sick. At least Aidan was completely healthy! We decided to go eat while we waithed and Cassie rested. We took Nannette and we all had a "Grandparents" celebratory dinner. When we got back, they had just taken Aiden back to the nursery for some reason, which had Cassie upset, which had US upset, but this time I was more pissed than concerned! It was frustrating having to wait to hold him. I bugged the nurses, and eventually, he was wheeled in.

There he was, my grandson! He was perfect. He looked just like Cassie did when she was a baby. The nose, lips, chin and hair. It was amazing. I hadn't held an infant since the birth of My youngest daughter over eleven years ago and I was stoked to hold him. To be honest, I can't even remember which of us held him first. It didn't matter at that point. He was there and there would be some major holding going on! Cassie was still wiped out so we, the grandparents, got to feed him. As he lay in my arms, his eyes closed and sucking on a bottle, Bev asked if it reminded me of holding my own children. It was just as satisfying, but it wasn't the same. I can't even explain that now, but I am sure all grandparents know what I am talking about. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to not hold him, but Cassie needed rest, and so did we. Poor Nannette had been up for over 36 hours, having worked the entire prior night. One of us would be allowed to stay there and it was decided Nannette would. We made out the hide-a-bed(we had changed rooms)and Nan crashed as we left for the hotel.

I am very happy for my daughter, but knowing what she is in for makes me glad I am a grand-parent! I have paid my dues, and am still paying them with my 11 and 13 year old daughters. I raised Cassie and I am raising her sisters. I love being a Dad, and I am sure I will love being a Grand-dad. Cassie will, most likey, never live in Bakersfield again. Her plans to marry her boyfriend, a military man, will keep her away from our home, and when he is done with the military, they will probably live in Northern California, where he is from. That kind of sux, but it kind of doesn't! It is hard knowing my grandson(and any brothers and sisters he may end up with)will not be close at hand, but I do have the luxury of having the wherewithall to visit them, wherever they are, anytime I like.

So, with the latest stretch of my life now laid out in front of me, I look forward to traveling it in style and comfort, backed with the experience of a lifetime of making due and coming to understand that my life is going according to plan; it's just not MY plan! I will take what I can get where Aidan is concerned and enjoy it to the fullest! No regrets, no complaints! I can't wait to see Aidan again. Vegas IS only 45 minutes by plane!

I saw a human interest story in the paper today and it reminded me of one I read a few years ago in the paper. It made me wonder if the writers or the paper itself has made a policy to look into the stories a little deeper than just writing what someone tells them. The reason I wonder this is because the story a few years ago was about a family I knew. I knew a lot about them, and had the write known what I knew, I am certain the story would never have even been put to paper(or a recorder, as it were). That family was in dire straits because the parents were drug addicts, thieves(obviously not very good ones), and low lifes. The story told of how this family had come back to California from Arizona near Christmas time and was having a very hard time coming up with money for a place to live, food, etc. I guess they forgot to mention that when they left for Arizona it was owing my mother thousands of dollars in unpaid rent after they had been evicted. They failed to mention that they threatened my Mom with a lawsuit if she tried to evict them, that they would blame her for all that was wrong with the house saying she wouldnt fix things(typical tweeker behavior). They failed to mention that they left the house in a condition that I was unaware humans could live in. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen.

When I helped Mom move all the crap they left there(about four loads to the dump), and tried to help her clean it up, I was literally overcome by the stench. There was HUMAN feces in the bedrooms along with animal wastes. It was all I could do not to puke. Now, I have seen the pix and commercials about the hovels in the third world where poverty and destitution is such a problem, but these people had jobs, cars, they smoked, drank and used, so they were obviously not broke, and this was a fine house when they moved into it. I know because it was the house I grew up in, and after my folks moved to their ranch, I rented it from them and lived there another ten years. It was worn out when I moved, but it HAD been ten years! These folks ruined this house in about two. On top of the rent money she was out, it cost her thousands more to essentially remodel the house so it could be sold. They made no aplogies to Mom about what they had done, and made no effort at restitution of any kind.

I wrote the Californian the minute I saw that article and made it clear what was going on with these fine young Americans who were having such a hard time of it. I never heard anything nor did I see my letter printed. I'm not saying the family in todays paper is anything like that. This isn't about the family, it is about research. The article about the losers who ruined moms house(and her savings account)was a great example of the media taking people at their word and not looking into anything. In that case, the reasons for their struggle were self imposed. I remember hoping that nobody helped them with anything and that they jusr drifted back to Arizona. On the other hand, I kind of wished they would stay long enough for me to run into them so I could exact my own form of revenge on the guy, at least. Tweekers may threaten to call the cops, but it's actually the last thing they will ever do, so I was unconcerned about that. In the end I was glad I never ran into them because I am a firm believer in "What goes around comes around", and they would get their fair share someday and I wouldn't have to worry about looking over my shoulder. I know another family who were(probably still are)always in need of help because the father, an unskilled man with not even a High School diploma, won't work for less than such and such amount of money, so he never has a job. He has a crippled wife and two kids and they are always asking people for help. Too proud to work for what he can get, but not too proud to beg! I hope I never see a story about THAT family.

I know that there cases in which things are just going badly for people, I have known some of them, but they stayed the course, did what had to be done and made due. I have also known people who dug their own holes but were honest about their situation, most importantly with themselves, and were able to either climb out of their holes or sink, but they never made it seem that it was societies fault and never bilked the public to come to their rescue.

Again, this is not about the story I read today, it just got me to thinking about the situation with Mom and the medias desire to tell a story they don't know is true or complete. I am not the worlds most compassionate guy and I know it. I don't need people to tell me about my shortcomings because I know alot more about them than anyone else, but I hate to see peole this time of year who are struggling. It's why I do all the toy runs and donate to more charities than I do the rest of the year. I hope that every kid in town gets stuff for Christmas, especially the ones whos parents are like the ones I spoke of, because it's not the kids' fault their parents are assholes. I hope the truly struggling adults find what they need to get back on their feet, and I hope the media is now looking more closely at human interest stories.

I see the IRS is at it again. This time blocking the distribution of funds raised to benefit the families of the firefighters killed fighting the Twin Pines fire in October. The IRS says the United Way, who handled the donati0ons, failed to follow the guidelines that seperate individuals or small groups from large organizations. The United Way says the problem was a misunderstanding in an exemption that was granted to firefighters families after 9/11. It is just another example of the abuse of power of the IRS. What is OK one day isn't OK the next. The tax system is a screwed up mess with which one needs a gaggle of attorneys to figure out. The families in question would all have passed away before the fine print in IRS lingo had been deciphered. It is ridiculous that this bueracracy gone mad won't make it happen just so they can be right. This is the type of theing that makes people tend to just say "screw it" when it comes to making donations to try and help the unfortunate. You can say what you like about how the UW should have known(and you'd be right), but still...

I still think Steve Forbes' idea of a ten percent flat tax with no loopholes for anyone is a fantastic idea, the best part being that the hated IRS would lose it's ability to spread individual terror through the threat of audits and siezures. Of course, this incident would probably still happen as charities would have to fall under different laws, but you get the point. Once that institution was put on notice that they really arent as necessary as they once thought, maybe they'd start doing things more like the people weren't the enemy.