I'm a High School grad, no college, make well over $100,000/yr, don't play golf, don't cycle (but wear the shorts), don't travel overseas, don't shop at florists (much), don't have religion, or tan lines...but I do go to Condor's games! The only females I see there are hair and nail obsessed vacuous ninnies who wouldn't know a puck from a porcupine, and old ladies who like the fighting. Slim pickings indeed. Fortunately, I'm married to a woman with a B.S. in biology and a year of pre-med. Funny thing is, Lois, I make more than twice her income and, she'll acknowledge, I'm smarter than she is. Go figure.

H8cloz, sounds like your a bit defensive. 

I'm 25, got my degree in Pennsylvania (political science)...Most of my fellow male brethren with degrees aren't looking for a wife. One would think that angle should develop over time. More red flags than the USS Enterprise are sent up whenever we come across a woman trying to audition us as a life partner. Be a low maintenance woman for as long as you can and say thank you after a steak dinner and you might just land a man in your desired demographic.

H8cloz- you obviously don't sit anywhere near me at the Condor games.  I have been going since the inaugural season of the Oilers.  I am a proud season ticket holder and know the game of hockey very well.  I also happen to be 43, make decent money and some might say I am quite attractive.  I go to the games with my son, sometimes I obsess over my hair before I go but only because I have great hair!  I also have long fingernails.  It never ceases to amaze me how the losers always gravitate towards me at the games.  I am there to watch the game, (did I mention that hockey players have great backsides?) don't bother me unless you really have something to offer me other than a $7.25 beer.  I am fortunate enough to be involved with the Condor organization, what a great group of people.  I guess I will keep going and hold out for my knight in shining armor.  Or pads!!!

I have found you usually find what you 'think' you are looking for when you aren't looking!!! I met my husband at a friends' bbq party. I was impressed by the gentleman in him, courtesy, kindness. I have 2 yrs college, he has HS/Army/blue collar job. When I met him I was not looking (I'd been divorced), I did not know what education he had (didn't really care). I liked him for the person he presented himself as and after I got to know him saw that the person was real. He adored my daughter and treated her with respect and caring. Our first date was taking his 3 girls and my daughter to the kern county fair!! That alone sealed it in my book that (hopefully) he was the one. That was 37 years ago. We are still married. He spoiled the girls rotten!! They all went to college (they all worked part time jobs) they are all married and have kids.

So the trick for the men is to date up, or as I did, marry up. I love my smarter, more wealthy wife. Though I am trying to get her on the golf course more.

(p.s. I played golf today and had flowers delivered to my sweetheart. you do have to treat them right)

I forgot to mention that I play golf...

When you get to be a (ahem) senior citizen, the availibility of like single men gets fewer and fewer.  When get to the point that you use the obits and a casserole for a dating service you know you're in trouble.

You're funny Nancy!  I haven't tried the casserole angle yet!

LOL, Nancy!

WP ~ You are so right...

I met my significant other at a karaoke bar about 1 1/2 years ago. I wasn't looking for anyone, had had it up to my eyebrows with the picky women here in Bako...had TOTALLY given up.

It took a woman from Fresno to get to know the real me. She listened to me sing, asked me some questions and REALLY listened to my answers. She's college educated but will probably admit that I'm just as well educated without a degree. At first she was surprised at my views on life, but over the last 18 months has come to understand how I've come to be the way I am; sarcastic with a self-depreciating sense of humor.

I have come to grips with the fact that I'm also a hopeless romantic. Flowers, cards, singing her to sleep. She's helped to foster that in me and my married male friends say I get them in trouble because they don't do the little things for their wives anymore. So sorry...but I am what I am...

I'm just out of that target demographic (25-44), but I've been single for about 15 years now. The lessons I learned over those years, I'm putting them to use now. It doesn't take a lot of time to plan a romantic evening, to woo (and keep) a wife or girlfriend. How hard is it to buy a card and slip it into her purse? Flower delivery takes mere minutes. Guys here do seem to be lazy in the romance department. Maybe I should start a class...

[edit - I forgot to mention, I also cook, but don't play golf]

The problem with single women here in Bakersfield is that they typically have just come out of a divorce and/or have children and/or a U-Haul full of emotional baggage following them wherever they go.

As for shopping at the florist, why should we when we can buy flowers from all of the illegals on the street corners.

Why is having children a problem???  Having deadbeat dads pick up and leave you for the younger model is more the problem if you ask me.  I shouldn't be off limits since I have children.  I have been single for several years and I have chosen this path so I could give my kids the attention and the upbringing that they deserve.  I say that I am married to my kids, but that is the truth.  They come first.  I can have a life later after I do all I can do to raise them properly.

A lady with children does, in fact have baggage. That's a fact. The importance of that baggage depends upon the strength of the suitor.If he's strong minded, honest with himself and able to step in and manage it, there isn't a problem. It'll really depend upon the lady's ability to trust him to help manage that baggage.  

If he and she are truly meant to be together for a lifetime, the baggage can surely be handled. The big question is if said lady is simply looking for another meal ticket, or a mate.................................

Lois,

Your figure of $35,000 as the bottom level for your numbers seems strangely low. In this country, it takes a much higher salary than that, to be considered a good providing income.

Perhaps your floor should have been set at $50 or $60,000 a year. A college graduate earning less than this is either under educated or under employed.

MrsEarnhardt38 - I agree with you on all points, but if you are looking for a single guy to date he may not see things in the same light.  Although, as Tony said, some guys don't have a problem with that. 

Some guys also see a single mother with a child(ren) as someone who has made a mistake or a series of mistakes.  Personally, I don't see things this way and think the blame is shared equally with both sides.  From a single male perspective, however, the perception is that when a single woman has children there was a mistake about the choice of the father, a mistake about having the child, or something wrong with the woman herself which is why she's still single.  In any event, children often mean the lingering presence of the father, vis a vis an emotional hangover or through visitation rights, and it adds yet another variable and complication to a potential new relationship.  Most guys looking for somethign more than a one night stand simply don't want to deal with all of that added drama.

Personally I'd also like to see a study done on the age and distribution of single people in Bakersfield are single through divorce, have children, etc. regardless of income.  Simply throwing all single women into the pot with those previously married I think would tend to skew the data on why they are single.

tonyh says "Perhaps your floor should have been set at $50 or $60,000 a year. A college graduate earning less than this is either under educated or under employed."

...or a teacher. ;)

And why should women look for professional men in Bako when there aren't many corporate entities here?  If you want professional men, don't look in a city whose big businesses are picking grapes and drilling oil, whose population lives by the mantra "you don't need college to be successful here," and whose fancy restaurant is the Crystal Palace (I jest...a little).  On the other hand, by promoting the availability of professional women, we just might attract some real corporations to settle their headquarters here, thereby raising at least our reputation and self image.  Good luck, women!

I'll take a rugged blue collar type any day over a white collar man.   White collar  workers have "office" hands.

"...we just might attract some real corporations to settle their headquarters here..." Not a chance. Big corporations are fleeing California, so are the medium and small ones. California will soon become nothing but rich people who own business out of state and poor people who do manual labor and service work. Best advice to the "educated" eligible single ladies here...move.

Hi all,

To answer a few questions, I decided not to put in the percentage of singles (men and women) who had children because they were fairly close, though a larger percentage of single women have kids. But that issue didn't really catch our eye as being statistically that significant.

Also, we used $35,000 as our base because the Census shows that our median income per capita is, I think, about $15k lower. Which is shocking and depressing in itself. And, yes, we didn't want to cut out teachers and other professions that require degrees but don't pay a whole lot (like journalists!).

I also got an email from a gentlemen wondering about whether women had tried gym memberships and, interestingly, the stats showed that the single men we were looking at aren't at gyms as much as the same demographic for women. So, women are going to gyms but not the guys.

All very interesting and I'm enjoying the comments!

AUDREY: Totally agree!!!  Most of the "white collar" crowd beg for my "blue collar" husband to fix thing for them!!! Electrical, plumbing, cars, wood work, etc. My blue collar hubby completely gutted my kitchen and 2 bathrooms and rebuilt all three - by himself!

I hear ya Witters.  I worked with white collar males for 30 years and while most of them were perfectly nice guys, they just weren't like the manly men I grew up with.

I've often wondered where my husband got his "fit it" ability.  Are some little boys born with this knowledge because I've never seen him read a book on wiring, plumbing etc.

$60,000?   Not the techers I did payroll for.  Not those that had been there 5+ years.  $60,000 for 180 days/year.  Not bad beans.

AUDREY: I think they learn from trial & error!!! My hubby grew up poor so had to learn how to build his own car if he wanted one!

He had never done ceramic tile until I told him I wanted it in the kitchen and the main bathroom. He got a book and all the necessary tools and even designed the bathroom differently and now all my friends want a bathroom like mine!!!!! I wanted a garden window in the kitchen so he put one in and put ceramic tile on the bottom of the window so when watering my plants it didn't matter if I spilled  :-)

My husand built wood framed  screens for all the windows in a house we rented in Oildale 30 years ago.  I wasn't impressed at the time, (my Dad was real handy) but I look back on it now with amazement at what he acommplished with the tools he had.

He did it for ME.   

The little boys probably learned it the same way as this little girl did: watching dad and granddad. My granddad taught me woodworking and gardening (of the vegetable and fruit sort, not flowers). My dad showed me how to fix things around the house like how to replace toilet flapper or get a hair clog out of the drain. I also learned how to make cakes and pancakes from my dad, so he doesn't just do the manly stuff, heh. And my mom taught me things like how to do laundry without turning your whites pink or shrinking the sweaters.

Learning self-sufficiency often starts at home by watching what the parents (and grandparents) do. It would be nice if more parents took after my parents and taught their kids all sorts of skills instead of sticking to traditional gender rolls. Teach the boys how to cook and clean and teach the girls how to be Ms. Fix-It, and vis versa. Then you won't end up with people like one of my former roommates, who didn't even know how to clean a toilet and who wanted to call the complex maintenance the first time the shower got a hair clog.