Earlier this evening, my son and I started talking about toys.  I was trying to explain to him that, even though I was born in the 70's, I didn't have many toys growing up.  And, the toys I did have involved mostly outdoor pursuits (skates, bike, baseball, jump rope, hopscotch markers, etc.,.).  I knew friends who had entire rooms filled with toys, but that wasn't how it was in my family.  Compare that to now.  While our kids have, mostly, engaging things like art supplies, Lego, blocks, bikes, basketball hoops, and a sandbox filled with dry beans for indoor play), they also have a sufficient amount of other toys.  We try to clean them out and donate them every few months.  Anyway, back to the topic...we thought this little poll would be fun.

1.  What year or era were you born?

2.  What was/were your favorite toy(s) as a small child?

3.  What was/were your favorite toy(s) as a child over 10?

4.  Which toys did you want but never received?

5.  What toys did you receive but didn't want?

6.  Which toys did your parents hate most?

7.  Which toy did you play with most? (This isn't the same as your favorite toy, because you may have played with something more despite liking it less.)

8.  If you're a parent, what was the first toy you bought or remember from your child's first years?

Have fun.  My answers will be in comments.

Earlier, I wrote a response to Pax's latest post about a friend of mine, PZ Meyers.  Over the last three weeks, I've watched Pax make comments about PZ's character that were not truthful.  I understand the knee jerk.  But, when you see consistent pounding on a friend (especially when the facts are incorrect), you are condoning the pounding and I can't do that any more.

Most of what I've written here is in response to Pax's last post.  So, forgive me for copying it here.  I want to discuss this with the assurance that no one's comments will be deleted. 

A young, male, Catholic college student attended a Catholic mass on STATE UNIVERSITY property (which is ironic given the current, alleged persecution cries).  He had a friend who wondered what the host actually looked like.  So, this young man goes up for communion and receives the host.  He tries not to befoul it by putting it in his mouth only to withdrawal it.  But, no...the Eucharist police made him put it in his mouth.  He did so.  When he took it back out to put it in a plastic bag, he was jumped and PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED.  He was  assaulted in a Catholic Church.  What's more disrespectful: Taking a wafer and showing an interested friend or forcibly trying to remove a cracker from someones mouth during a mass? 

Pax took a claim straight out of the Catholic League press release.  In and of itself, that's fine.  But, it's inaccurate.   Pax claims that PZ desecrated the host and the Koran -Not only did he tear a few pages from the Koran and toss it...he also threw in some pages from The God Delusion by renowned atheist Richard Dawkins.  Gee...I wonder why you left that out?  By doing so, PZ was trying to illustrate a point.  The  point being: it's just a cracker and the books are just books.  There are no sacred cows.  Meyers was very clear:  "Question EVERYTHING.".  Even atheism!  But, both Pax and the Catholic League failed to publish this. Why?

 PZ received hundreds of death threats and even claims that his children would be "dealt with".   Most of his blog entries topped out in the 10,000 comment range.  His normal comment numbers vary between 30-100.  None of the death threats came from Muslims (despite the claims of Catholic commenters and the Catholic League).  They all came from Catholics. One man went to the trouble of creating twenty different e-mail addresses and user names so he could skew the number and nature of reactions.  One Catholic woman was fired from HER job for writing horrible death threats against Myers family.  Stranger still, she blamed the whole thing on her husband, saying that he'd got into her work account.  My question to all Catholics is: how do you reconcile these behaviors?  Is it okay to kick a young man out of the church and school because he didn't eat the cracker?  Is it okay to demand someones job for a bit of flour, water, and vegetable oil?  If the cracker is only the body of Christ when it is present in the mass or being given by an authorized lay minister, then what's the problem?  Furthermore, you can buy them in bulk.  But, Meyers didn't even have to do that...he was sent at least thirty crackers by self-identified catholics (though I'm sure there were a few ex-Catholics or holiday Catholics in the mix).  There is a procedure you follow when taking communion and most atheists have no clue what that procedure is.  Nor did any feel as if going to mass was fair.  There were many, many discussions in the atheist blogosphere (and PZ's blog) where the idea of crashing mass was discouraged and labeled poor behavior. Catholics who went up for mass, took the wafer, and sent it to Meyers.  Are you going to demand their jobs next?  Ex-communicate them?  What if one of them was from a priest with whom Meyers did a radio show with?  Should he be banished from the priesthood?

Furthermore, Meyers tested the claim that the host became the literal body of Christ by following a ritual done by Catholic monks hundreds of years ago.  He could have done any number of more desecrating and disrespectful things to it.  And, this is an important point...for there were many, many suggestions on what he should do.  Interestingly enough, one vocal Baptist wanted him to defecate in a toilet and flush it down the drain with the feces.  I say it's interesting because there were a number of religious folk outside the church who seem to have a bigger problem with this ceremony than any atheist I've ran across.

I try to have sympathy for Catholics.  I was one.  My family still is.   But, you guys shot yourself in the foot with this one.  Rather than taking reasonable action against Mr. Cook (like, oh, I dunno'...having him come in for confession face-to-face or something), the Catholic Church decided they were going to make a huge deal out of it in the media.  They ASSUMED Mr. Cook was an atheist or secularist angry at the university's policy to allow religious worship on state property.  When they realized they'd made a mistake, it was too late.  The media had dispersed the story of a Catholic parishioner being assaulted in his own church.  PZ wrote a post about it and...I don't need to repeat what I've already said, but the results don't flatter Catholics.   People who drew this out made the Catholic Church look ridiculous.  They forgot their purpose by Catholic standards.  They forgot that the host is the communion of a present Christ in the celebrant...if you're not Catholic, it does not trans-substantiate.  They got so caught up in this perceived disrespect by one of their own (and the people who suggested beating him up in church was wrong), that you forgot that the Eucharist is only a part of your faith and not the entire basis for your faith.  And, then...rather than handle it with dignity, the Catholic League incited violence, death threats, and harm to Meyer's family.  So...exactly who is it that people should fear:  Muslims who have not made one comment despite the fact that he tore a few pages from their holy book or the thousands of Catholics who took it too far?  One confirmed Catholic individual wrote that PZ should be careful taking his minor son to see a movie because they'd be waiting for the boy. 

Pax claims that PZ's employer "whitewashed their policies".  The University of Minnesota at Morris did not whitewash their policies.  Their policies are irrelevant as his website is not hosted by the University.  He broke no laws.  He didn't use the university as a pulpit.  Their policies cover only those things which are said during his hours of employment and in his classroom or a university sponsored website.  And, even if he'd used a university sponsored site, he has academic freedom and a first amendment right to say whatever he wants.  Is the Californian responsible for every erroneous comment Pax makes?  Are they responsible for the things said in private or public phone conversations one makes on their own cell phone?  Can they fire you for something you sent in a letter...even if the letter was sent to a large audience?  Of course not. 

There was an interview between Myers and a Catholic priest on Catholic radio.  It's a well-done interview and both parties spoke with passion...but never resorted to inciting harm.  Should you like to listen to the interview, you may find it here : http://www.catholicradioint...

If you'd like to download it directly, then you may do so here: http://www.catholicradioint...

In closing, it's pretty hard to take the Catholic League seriously.  For one, they are not backed by the Catholic Church in any official capacity.  Given the tendencies of the Catholic League to exaggerate claims, this is a good move on the Church's part.  The Catholic League is also a "league" only in the vaguest sense.  But, more importantly, it's a completely reactive (over-reactive) organization.  Bill Donohue seems to live by the credo of reacting first and getting the facts later (as is proven by his initial comments that Webster Cook was an atheist!).  Donohue lives for the sound-byte on Larry King or Fox News and he promotes vindictive and violent solutions.  Is this really the new face of American Catholicism?  For the sake of every peaceful and reflective Catholic I know, I sincerely hope not.

Bottom line: not immediately eating a wafer in church does not justify violence.  And, defending the person who was assaulted does not justify death threats, taking someones job, or intimidating a minor. 

In my last post, I talked about these blogs and how I was worried about our nation becoming polarized. But, out of the mouths of babes comes meaning.  I overheard my daughter and her two friends discussing religion.  My daughter is a self-defined secular humanist with deist leanings (meaning, she's not quite an atheist, but wouldn't claim a religion or say with certainty that God exists as presented by any known religion --- and, humanism is the best philosophy).  One of her friends is a Muslim.  The other is Christian (Catholic).   Now, teen-aged girls can be brutal...sometimes without even meaning to be.  Differences aren't really prized in high school.  Yet, these girls sat and talked about why they believe the things they believe.  No one was insulted.  I heard a great many, "Wow.  I didn't know that."-type statements.  I heard laughter and congenial banter.  At one point, they discussed about how my daughter thought she got her moral framework and the other two girls were polite and seemed interested and accepting of what she had to say.  In turn, my daughter knew enough about their faiths to ask them questions and understand their point-of-view through sharing.  

Why can't adults do this?  I'm so proud of these three girls.  They are the future and if they can accept each other and love the unique philosophies of friends, then I think the future is looking good.  I was reduced to happy tears.  I thought some of you would enjoy hearing this.   

Over the last six months, I've become very worried about our country and where it's headed.  Chief of my worries is that people are dead-set on being right instead of solving any problems.  This comes from both sides of the political fence!  Conservatives and Liberals; red and blue.  I went through these blogs today and counted eighty-three comments/posts/incidents where a member of one side made sweeping generalizations about the other side.  And, this isn't limited to the us.  If you read some of the opinions in the paper and other places, then you'll see that the numbers rise at such a fast rate that you can hardly keep track.  WHY?  Why are we acting like a bunch of bratty children?  Making hasty generalizations about the "other side" is pointless.  For one, not everyone fits neatly into one side or the other.  There is ALWAYS common ground to be found.  ALWAYS!  I'm afraid for this country because discussion has turned into a contest.  You can't stand united when you're busy watching the other side for mistakes.  You can't stand united if you willingly and frequently call your neighbor "wrong", "stupid", "ignorant", or "evil." 

I'm curious about the ways of modern day evangelism and how (or what) people feel is proselytizing.  What is okay?  What is over-stepping the bounds of common courtesy?  Where and when is it appropriate?  Clearly there are various answers and those answers will vary further among different people.  There's no clear line.  So...with that in mind, these are a series of yes and no questions. 

(Yes or No)

1.  Is it okay to ask someone what religion they are during your first introduction?

2.  Is it okay to ask someone what religion they are any time after that?

3.  Is it okay to ask someone what church they belong to or attend?

4.  Is it okay to do that in a public venue with other people around?

5.  is it okay to do that when you first meet someone?

6.  Is it okay to go to someones house and ask the other guests what religion they are?

7.  Is it okay to ask someone what church they go to or what religion they are if you've invited them to your home for a casual dinner?

8.  A formal dinner?

9.  A dinner with multiple guests?

10.  Is it okay to hand out religious materials (a bible) to someone else's child?

11.  Is it okay to invite someones child to a church event without talking to the parent first?

12.  Is it okay to distribute invitations to church activities among students at a public school?

13.  Is it okay to take someones child to a church function without the parent's permission?

14.  Is it okay to hand out religious materials in schools?

15.  Hospital waiting rooms?

16.  Doctor's offices?

17.  Is it okay to ask people to declare their faith/religion/life's philosophy during school or work hours?

18.  Is it okay to walk up to a stranger and begin preaching to them?

19.  Is it okay to preach to a friend?

20.  Is it okay to preach to co-workers?

I'm looking forward to the answers.  If you'd like to elaborate, then feel free to do so after you answer yes or no.   :)  I don't see this so much as a religious issue as I do about appropriate boundaries.

A few days ago, Audrey B left a comment on my blog talking about the memories she had of her sisters graduation.  She spoke of the dignity and solemness of the occasion.   So, it was with her words in my mind that I went to two graduations today.   The first being a morning Kinder-Grad.  The second being an evening, 8th grade graduation held at Stockdale High School. 

I have to divulge, up front, that I'm not the kind of person who likes being in a crowd.  I wouldn't classify myself as agoraphobic,...I don't "fear" the crowd.  I just don't feel comfortable.  I'm also not a big fan of having huge celebrations for things that, in my mind, are pretty mundane.  Kindergarten graduations seem silly to me.  But, the cute factor gets me every time and I end up cherishing the pictures.  Eighth grade graduations also seem strange to me.  Where I grew up, it wasn't part of the tradition.  We had an eighth grade dance, but that was about it.  I realize that, in the past, a primary education was a big deal.  But, it's no longer the end of the road in probably 99% of the students.  In my mind, my children still have AT LEAST eight years of education left to achieve after the eighth grade (hopefully more!).  But, still...it's hard to say "let's not do this" when every other kid in the class is going to. 

It was a beautiful evening.  Really...I don't think we could've asked for nicer weather (considering what it could've been).  We got to the ceremony about an hour early since we not only had a graduate, but also had a child in the band.  We climbed the bleachers and found a spot where there was enough room for our family and easy access to the stairs (in the event that our three year old couldn't sit still long enough).  That's when I started noticing the very behaviors that Audrey B was lamenting about.

A family of four walked up the bleachers carrying a balloon bouquet that had AT LEAST twelve balloons in it.  This is all well and good, but they plopped down right IN FRONT of another family.  Despite the fact that the top four rows of bleachers were still empty and there were other places where they could sit...they sat down right in front of someone else.  Which, I guess isn't a big deal, really...but, it became a big deal when it was obvious that there was absolutely no way the people who had been there before them, and now were behind them, could see any part of the ceremony because of the monstrous balloons in front of them.  The family sans balloons had to get up and move.  That wasn't right.  

A few minutes into the ceremony (okay...twenty minutes in!), a family of at least thirty people came tromping up the aluminum bleachers.  Despite the fact that the class president had just begun his speech, these people shouted and stomped all over because they couldn't find a big enough area to sit together.  It almost seemed as if they were punishing everyone at the ceremony for not leaving them space.  The noise these people generated was so loud that the poor kid at the podium was distracted. 

Then the graduates started ascending the podium to receive their diplomas.  Most families behaved appropriately and offered dignified, but still spirited, applause for their children with pride in their eyes.  But,...then there were the few who felt it necessary to bust out with air horns and a megaphone (no...I'm not joking) to cheer on their student.  They were so obnoxiously loud that the next student's name was completely buried in the cacophony.  

Finally, I noticed one more thing...after about half of the kids had received their diploma, half the stands began talking as if there was no ceremony taking place. People stopped clapping for every graduate and started talking about where they'd be meeting afterward or, in the worst display of this rude behavior, began packing up and asking people around them (some whose children were still waiting to be recognized) to move so they could go load up the car and be the first ones out.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!  

To these people, I want to say the following: what lesson are you teaching your child by completely and totally disrespecting their classmates and the families who were every bit as proud as you?  Why? 

This is another "fun post".  Please keep light, people.

WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT GRADUATION?  IT CAN BE FROM HIGH SCHOOL OR UNIVERSITY.  What songs were played?  What color was your gown?  Who was the speaker?  What sticks out in your memory?   I'll answer in comments.

Allred's post about the adorable baby he is holding in his last post gave me the idea for this post.  For parents: What memorable moments do you treasure?  If you are not a parent: What is your most cherished memory about your parent(s)?

I have a few moments that I carry with me.   I breastfed all of my children and I will never forget those tender, early morning feeding moments where it's you, your baby, and stillness.  Just watching them nurse and holding this life in your arms that, you realize, you'd do anything for.   My youngest was early (as were the others) and needed to spend some time on a fiber optic, "roo blanket" for jaundice.  He was born in August of 04 and I will never forget the time we spent parked on the couch, relieved only to take showers, me holding him in wrapped in this cumbersome blanket, but being thankful I could keep him at home.  I watched every minute of the 2004 Olympic Games with a warm little person on my chest. 

I love that my thirteen year old still wants to be tucked in.

I love checking on them while they sleep and whispering "I love you."

My five year old has been drawing me a picture with hearts everyday for the last four months and I can't throw any of them away because I ache knowing there will be a day when she doesn't do that anymore.

The list could go on and on...

There have been many posts about Expelled in the Bakersfield blogdom.  One poster who is a proponent of ID told me that I should make my own post.  So, here it is...
PROBLEMS WITH EXPELLED:

1.  Copyright infringement on two counts.

A) Premise Media was barred today with an injunction for using John Lennon's "Imagine" without permission.  I have read that some pro-Ex people claim that the use was consistent with Fair Use policies.  You are wrong.  Fair Use says you *can* borrow music, footage, or proprietary media if you are using it for public domain and have no financial gain from the use of the material.  Premise Media never intended for the film to be freely distributed.  They made the movie for profit.

B)  There is stolen CGI footage in the film.  Without the permission of the footage creator, Mark Matthis (producer) used the film in Expelled and, worst of all, added new dialogue to have the footage fit his movie's premise despite it being scientifically inaccurate.  He also does not credit the creators in the credits. 

2.  False link between evolution and the Holocaust.  Darwin's theory of evolution states that organisms experience gradual change over long periods of time due to environmental or natural adaptations.  The genocide of non-Catholics/Christians by Hitler is the farthest thing you can get from natural selection.  Hitler employed artificial selection with the blessing of his religious leaders.  He was not an atheist.  Read Mein Kampf.  He ordered the extermination of Jews because he felt God called him to do so.  The film is misleading its viewers.

I just wanted to take a moment and be a bragging mother.  The band members of Lakeside Middle School competed against sixty-five other bands today.  The competition was sponsored by Disneyland.  Despite having a tour bus run over two clarinets, the band pulled through and took first place in their division (based on musicianship)!  They also won an award for showing the most respect for their band director and conducting themselves with class and integrity. Go Bulldogs! Mr. Barr and the kids deserve a round of applause.