My twelve year old daughter came home with her seventh grade yearbook.  It's always an exciting day.  She sat down next to me, so that we could look at how much the kids have grown since the previous year, and we were chatting about how fast life goes by. 

Then...it happened.  I turned to the back of the yearbook.  Where friends might leave messages of summer folly or future plans,  I saw the following three entries:

1.  "Hey Chubster!  Have a good summer."

2.  "You need to lose some weight."

3.  "Hope you lose a few pounds.  Have fun!"

I was stunned.  I would say I was speechless, but that was only momentary.  I moved right through speechless to livid.  I looked at my daughter, my heart filled with sadness, and asked, "Do you think you're overweight?"  She said that she didn't.  I said, "Why would you allow someone to say or write these things about you?"  Then, I quickly apologized because I realized that she couldn't control the actions of these three, otherwise "nice" boys.  After reassuring her that at 90 pounds and five feet tall, she was well under the recommended BMI for her age.  Not only that, but she's well under the average growth curve for her age/height/weight.  She said, "I know, mom! It's okay. That's just what they say to some of us who aren't perfect."

*boggle*

Who the heck do these boys think they are?  What kind of misogynistic nonsense is this? Who gets to define "perfection"?  When did a young woman's value become calculated in pounds?  And, why are our girls allowing the boys to treat them like this?  Our girls should STOP picking themselves over, as I know young girls do, because it's only giving the boys license to put their two cents in.  Our girls need to build the esteem to look at ANY boy who would write that in a yearbook and say, "You suck as a friend!"  There's a part of me that wants to instruct my daughter to leave yearbook commentary about their...ahem...manhood (or, as the case may be, lack of it).  But, I realize that's not going to help.  However, to all the mothers of sons (and I am one, too) reading this: we need to make sure that our boys know this is NOT acceptable behavior.  It's not okay.  And, as mothers of daughters, we need to make sure our girls know it. 

Grrrrrr...I need to go chill out.