Q. Why doesn't Jesus eat M&Ms?

A. They fall through the holes in his hands.

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When some people came to dinner, the hostess turned to her six year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mom answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

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Why God never got a PhD
-----------------------

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Jesus walks into a bar, throws the bartender three nails and says, "Could you put me up for the night?

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Q. What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

A.  Popeye kicked his arse'.

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Just thought I'd balance it out a bit.  After all, if it's okay to tell atheist jokes, it must be okay to tell jokes about theists and Jesus.