A blog about Kern County and News.
Gender: female Member Since: June 30, 2006 Last Signed In: November 19, 2009 Profile Views: 9265 Blog Views: 29729 Jagels Retires The Womans Conference~ 2009 Men Who Stare At Goats Birthday A Counterpoint To The Race Card: Acknowledgement and Healing Chaos:Remember to say I love you. Hubble New Images~ Beautiful ! Western End of Station Fire Under Control Death Panels are Real: So is Everything Else (hummor) What makes a Nazi a Nazi ? July 06 August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 "Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats." Diane Arbus My life seems to operate sideways~ backwards almost~ and I have come to see thats right for me. A rain of snakes,disruption that cause's growth ,the world split in two.Everyone has there own path,mine has been one of thought,mostly of things folks today seem to disregard. Truth, personal integrity,politeness,...not all eschew these things.For me its been the easiest way to be~ any other way leads me to more trouble..and a sense of humor,above all about myself. Laughter keeps a person sane,and I enjoy seeing the coyote in myself~ the eternal trickster 
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Bad Day~is the urge to fight a way to hold off pain?
I got to thinking about this because I notice it myself~my reaction to things is way off kilter still.Waking up screaming "no" from some nightmare does not make me feel like any resolution has occurred fro me personally.A comment about another poster here being a "pot stirrer", for lack of a better term,got me to wonder why? So thats my question for you ,for myself. Does grief,pain, hurt drive one into a state..is it a cause drives reaction? Or do some just love a war of words or otherwise?I do think for myself thats a tactic I use when it is all just to much~grief~..it keeps my mind off me ,on to you "others " out there.Keeps me away from the dark..or do people just enjoy any reaction? Why do I even care? because I hope if i can gain a inkling of understanding~if i can survive,maybe even surpass,my personal situation it is going to help someone else..bring them in from the cold so to speak,get us all to talk to each other like humans...find out it does not kill you to say "I am sorry" ,hurt you to recognize your personal deficits~even helps you overcome them... I think I need a nap.this is just a ramble, a rant and some serious questions..which from no sleep,a terrible nightmare,,and so much pain,I should not even be asking right now...but I have too 6 comments from 4 users
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posted by
woofwoof
on Jul 5, 2007 at 08:46 PM
OK, I've had a couple gin n tonics at the Red Pepper, so I'm gonna share. I remember my dad saying when I was a kid, "THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!". I've dwelled on that statement over an over. If I did that, I'd never speak. I'm often misconstrued because of "MY TONE". Being judged, because of who you are on the [edit] outside, versus who you are on the inside. WEIRD. And I hate it. Now hurt...I'm hurting, but it's physical pain. How boring it is for my family, for the past three years, hear me over an over an over complaining of pain,( not intentionally ), about my foot. I am angry, I'm tired, and I want to be normal again. Here's some weirdness on my level: I keep picturing myself recovering from the impending surgery, in my bed, but it's on a different wall in the bedroom. It's not a dream, it's a subconscious thought that's driving me bonkers. I'm getting superstitious now, and I think this surgery won't work this time (it'll be my third on the same foot), unless I move the dang bed...how weird is that? posted by
woofwoof
on Jul 5, 2007 at 08:48 PM
So YES you can be driven into a "state".....
posted by
anglo1
on Jul 5, 2007 at 08:55 PM
Move the bed.
posted by
samheath
on Jul 6, 2007 at 06:06 AM
Really woof, anglo may be right about moving the bed. That or more gin, less tonic. Well, maybe not.
posted by
sagefever
on Jul 7, 2007 at 04:06 PM
Thanks all~woof maybe you should move the bed..if its at all possible..I weird that way,myself ,and a big believer in the subconscious..a couple of days away frittering around~some decent sleep ~ and I feel ,if not better then at the least different..venting really helps me, writing a doing somthing semi-creative..let us know when you go to the hospital woof~I'll be baying for you..woooof wooof
posted by
woofwoof
on Jul 9, 2007 at 09:56 PM
Hubby says he's not gonna move the bed....he doesn't get it. And I'm dismissed again. Like my feelings/opinions mean nothing....that's ok I'm use to it. What I'm not use to is how many times I get dismissed....from my husband, by my father, by my mother, but not my kids. Because I do not dismiss them....surgery is July 19th.
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