Finally I think I can write about this,on this Mothers day.Forgive the disjointedness,I am of course crying ,laughing and trying to make sense~difficult.

We both got sick within a day of each other,usually he'd get a bug ,I be nurse and get it after he was well.This time was different. Normally just the feeding,preparing,cleaning of of 3 meals a day took 4 1/2 hours.He loved to savor food,just an hour to feed him alone.With the flu it was easier and harder ~a lot of fluids for us both,at first , then he started to not want anything,just to be held, have me stroke his hair, watch T.V. with him.The next day it was back to him wanting food,and I was just getting sicker.One night it was just easier to keep him with me in bed than move.My BF had gotten mad at me for something silly,so he was no help.Thank the gods for my GF,she kept us in soup and juices.

 For years he would look at me and just beam~Mom could make the world right no matter what.After the operation, the constant pain took away my superhero status.But that last two weeks was a gift to me~all he wanted was my touch,to be held,to be loved and love me in return.We both got sicker till that day,but until that hour I was the luckiest Mom that ever was..still am.For I have been loved like no other Mom can know~when people call those kids "special " it is because they truly are. They Love like no other human can . Have a great day Moms~ we are  given a wondrous journey to take with this gift ~life.